Dirty Jokes

The Little Old Lady...
A little old lady with blue hair entered the sex shop and asked in a quivering voice, "Yy-young man, dd-do y-you, sell-l d-didildoes h-here?"
The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady's appearance in his shop answered, "Uh, yes ma'am, We do."
The little lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked, "D-do y-you ha-ave any ab-bb-bout th-this lon-ong?"
"Well... yes ma'am, a few of them are about that big."
"D-do aa-ny of them ha-ave a v-v-v-vibra-a-ator?"
"Yes ma'am, one of them does."
"W-w-ell, h-how d-do yo-ou t-turn it off?"

The Gold Game
Four men went golfing one day : three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, " My son is a home builder and he's so successful that he gave a friend a new home - - for free."
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock brocker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio.
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. I'm not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio."