- No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.
- Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
- Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
- In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need
- Okay, I'm gross, but I'm training to be disgusting.
- When it comes to humility, I'm the very best there is!
- Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
- I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
- I never repeat gossip, so please listen carefully the first time.
- Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- If at first you do succeed, try to hide your surprise.
- Teamwork is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
- Always lean on your principles, until they give way.
- When I was a kid, I ran away from home. My parents changed the locks.