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Disclaimer: Okay, people, listen up! It's taken me months of writing to finish this parody, so don't go around dissing it. I started this the first time the episode aired and it was a lot of work. Besides, I know where you live.
Based on "Tar Rangers" by TOIY inc. These works are protected under the fair-use parody provision of the copyright laws and are not intended to infringe upon the original Copyrights of Saban Entertainment, Saban Int'l, N.V., or TOEI Inc. All Rights Reserved. (C) 1997 Gourmet Night

Gourmet Night presents...
Power People Turkey: "Stichery Dickory Dock"
Parody of "Stich Witchery"
by Chris Neumann

[Some random new classroom set. Ashley is working on a hideous jacket when the bell rings. A random Kid passes her]

Random Kid: Hey, Ashley, nice jacket!
Ashley: I'm designing it to be fashionable and timeless.
Random Kid: I meant the one you're wearing.
Ashley: This thing? This is crap.
Random Kid: It's still better than the one you're making.

[Random Kid leaves. Cassie enters, holding a rolled-up magazine using it as a pretend microphone.]

Cassie: This is Cassie Sham. Tell me, Miss Ashley Hamhead, what's it like in the high and glamourous world of fashion?

[Ashley doesn't respond.]

Cassie: Ash?
Ashley: I'm sorry, Cassie, I'm just wondering if I still have it anymore.
Cassie: What "it"?
Ashley: Fashion.
Cassie: Don't worry. You never had that.
Ashley: (depressed) Thanks.

[Ashley and Cassie depart. Divatoxic's periscope comes out of a cup of java. Some stupid beatnik student takes the cup and drinks from it, choking on the periscope.]

[Over-elaborate new theme song sequence.]

[Angular Grove's Beleveled Beach. Hulk and Dull (invisible due to dangerous radiation from the torpedo strike a couple of episodes ago) spot a family having a picnic.]

Dull: Hey, Hulkie, look at this. (Imitating Yogi bear) A picinic basket!
Hulk: Yeah! let's grab it!

[Hulk and Dull rush to the picnic and eat all the food. The father (coincidently played by Dan Akroyd) dons a Ghostbusters suit and blast them. Hulk and Dull dash off.]

[In the Slanted Park, Cassie and Ashley are walking, talking.]

Ashley: ...I mean, I made this jacket in the fourth grade!
Cassie: The Fourth grade? And it still fits?
Ashley: Okay, I made it three weeks ago. But...

[A limosine drives up, dispensing Madame E Vil.]

Madame E: (instantly feigning love of the ugly jacket) Oh, darling! That is simply a wonderful jacket! You must allow me to mass produce it without you knowing it makes people incureablly evil!

Ashley: Does it involve drugs?
Madame E: No. Darling, you must know when opportunity knocks.
Ashley: Well, as long as drugs aren't involved, I guess it's okay.
Madame E: Perfect!

[Madame E exits for the limo.]

Ashley: It probably involves drugs.

[Inside the limo, Madame E transforms into a monster. Divatoxic is sitting beside her.]

Divatoxic: Well?
Madame E: Does it involve drugs?
Divatoxic: No.
Madame E: We're in.
Divatoxic: Of course we're in. Being a Power Ranger deteriorates their brains! And it works fast! Ba ha ha ha ha!

[In the Divatoxic manufacturing plant, several Farfrommittrons are attempting and failing to mass-produce the hideous jackets. Several of them are going blind and insane just from looking at them.]

Divatoxic: My jackets are working!
Rybog: Um, excuse me, but exactly how will we get people o put these jackets on? I mean, I'm afraid to be in the same room with them.
Divatoxic: We'll add something to them that will have people swarming to
Rybog: Money?

[Suddenly, Smelgar walks past, chomping on a chocolate bar.]

Divatoxic: That's it!

[She snatches the chocolate bar and throws it into a vat.]

Smelgar: Hey! I've been saving that for years!
Divatoxic: Now we have the element that will have people droning in to buy these jackets.
Smelgar: My DNA?
Rybog: I still think that money would have worked better.

[At the Beleveled Boardwalk, the invisible Hulk and Dull are putting on a "Magic" show. Hulk is wrapped up like the invisible man and Dull is doing all the hard labour by lifting up a heavy chest.]

Dull: Hey, Hulkie, when can I take a break? This thing is killin' my back.
Hulk: Quiet Dull.

[Dull collapses from exhaustion.]

Audience: Boo!
Hulk: And now for my greatest trick...

[Hulk takes off the wraps to reveal his head is gone.]

Random Woman: OH, SICK!
Kid Jerk: Screw you guys, I'm leaving.

[Dull grabs the kid and holds him upside-dwon and shakes all the money from him.]

Kid Jerk: Okay, okay!
Hulk: (pointing a finger at the others as if it were a gun) Let that be a warning to the rest of you...

[Camera angle changes. We see the six Power Teens walking down the Boardwalk.]

TJ: Nice location.
Carlos: Too bad we're only using it once.

[Suddenly, a stand opens up and displays Ashley's jackets. People swarm over to the stand while trying not to stare directly at the jackets.]

Ashley: My jackets!
Chris: AAAH! I can't look directly at them!

[Chris acts sensible for once and dashes off. The others are suddenly drawn toward the jackets (except Ashley).]

TJ: (expressionless) Even though those jackets are ugly a shell I am still
attracted greatly toward them.
Justin: (also expressionless) As am I.

[The teens head like zombies to the booth and put on the appropriate colour-coordinated jackets. Ashley is about to grab a jacket for herself, but an old lady snatches it first.]

Ashley: Hey! That's my jacket!
Old Lady: Do you want to get hit with my walker?
Ashley: It's yours.

[For some reason, Ashley walks alone on the Boardwalk. Chris manages to catch up.]

Chris: Hey, Ashley, your jackets are all gone.
Ashley: Hey, Chris, how come you're limping like that?
Chris: Oh, that old lady jabbed me in the leg after I knocked her Rascal.
Ashley: I was gonna do that.

[The glow-in-the-dark communicators beep.]

Chris: What do you want?
Beta: Teleport to the Battle Basement immediantly.
Chris: Do we have to?
Beta: Yes.

[Ashley and Chris teleport.]

Chris: Okay Tin man, what's going on?
Beta: It looksa like Divatoxic's taryin ta hit da mooseum!
Ashley: Does he always talk like this?
Chris: Ooh, yeah.
Dimitiria: You must hurry Rangers, time is of the essence. Besides, everyone is giddy to see the new morphing sequence.
Ashley: Then they'll be disappointed. Paste Into Turkey!

[Ashley and Chris morph in cheap footage.]

[At the museum outlet, several Farfrommittrons are stealing paintings from a truck that has the words "Please Do Not Steal" on it.]

Smelgar: Hurry, Stupid soliders!
Rybog: Yes, make haste!
Smelgar: "Make Haste"?
Rybog: Well, it sounds better than "Hurry".

[Ashley and Chris arrive, morphed.]

Smelgar: AAAAGH! THE POWER PEOPLE! I don't like them! They embarrass me!
Rybog: It's only two of them, and they don't even know how to fight! Get them, Farfrommittrons!

[The Farfrommittrons attack Chris and Ashley.]

Chris: I don't like this. And I've been doing this for our years!
Ashley: I've got an idea!

[Ashley and Chris unimpreesively backflip into the truck. Ashley tugs on the chain to make the door close.]

Smelgar: Oh, I get it. You're yanking my chain!

[Smelgar cuts the chain and Ashley flips out, shutting the paintings inside. Chris then hits the truck door, leaving a large Chris-shaped dent in there.]

Ashley: Sorry, Chris.

[Back at the Boardwalk, the Rangers are taking turns being unusually nasty to each other.]

Justin: This jacket sucks! And you all look even more hideous than usual!
TJ: Speak for yourself, microdemon.
Cassie: Y'know, even though this is the first episode with us all as regular rangers, I am already sick of you total idiots.
Carlos: Well at least I don't have to have another actor play myself in the morphing sequence.
Cassie: Ooh, big word. How far are you getting in "Hooked on Phonics"?
Justin: Hey TJ, watch this.

[Justin splashes Cassie with his coke.]

Cassie: Why you little weasel! Aw kil ya!
TJ: That's the spirit!

[Cassie begins attacking Justin as Ashley and Chris return unmorphed. Chris is limping again.]

Ashley: Hey what's going on?
Carlos: Cassie's about to kill Justin. This is really sweet.
TJ: By the way, I've seen better jackets on the golf course.
Ashley: What?
Justin: It's your jackets. They suck Big time!
Chris: Uh, yeah, they do.

[The director walks on and slaps Chris upside the head because Chris is not supposed to be under the influence of the Anger jackets.]

Carlos: El jacketis sucko mucho grandes.

[Ashley runs off, beginning to cry.]

Justin: Mission accomplished.
Chris: (to director) Do I stay here?
Director: Yeah.
Chris: Okay. (not sure about what to do next) So, how've you guys been?

[In another part of town, the Flu Centurian is writing tickets on cars for his own personal amusement.]

FC: (to himself) Okay, technically, driving a blue car is not against the law, unless it offends up to six small minorities, but I can make up some random stuff on here and collect a 600 dollar fine. Now where's my car boot?

[FC looks up and sees a guy wearing an anger jacket giving the finger to a driver wearing an anger jacket.]

FC: Nothing odd there.

[Suddenly, there's all this wailing and screaming.]

FC: Though it's not really my business, I had better investigate.

[FC sees a stand of Anger jackets out of control heading down a hill headed striaght for madame E and Kenny.]

FC: Oh brother. Civilians in danger. Can't they stay out of trouble for five minutes?

[FC dashes up and holds onto the stand to try to stop it. There is a thump and the stand stops rolling right before it hits Madame E. FC looks around.]

FC: Oh my god! I killed Kenny! You bastard!
Madame E: Oh, I must thank you. You saved my life.
FC: That should justify...
Madame E: Please accept this little token of my appreciation.

[Madame E tries to get FC to weap a yellow Anger Jacket.]

FC: Please, I cannot accept. Although I do have a golf outing this afternoon...

[By now FC is wearing an Anger Jacket.]

FC: God this is ugly. Oh well. I'm feeling like going on a rampage. Sympelizer Blaster Mode!

[FC starts going on a rampage, blowing up objects and people with his Sympelizer.]

[In the park, Ashley is crying.]

Director: That doesn't look realistic.
Ashley: I just banged my face into a tree. It's REAL!
Director: Take Two!

[Ashley is crying. Beta pages her communicator.]

Ashley: Yeah?
Beta: Yo, yo Ashley. Is you cryin'?
Ashley: Ya think?
Beta: Geez, tough crowd.
Dimitira: Will you get to the point of this communique?
Beta: Oh, yeah. The Flu Centurian is going on another rampage, and this time he's wearing one of your hideous jackets!
Ashley: Contact the others.
Beta: Well, Cassie's really beating Justin up good, and I really don't wanna stop it. But they're under the influence of the Anger jackets. Get those off an they'll return to normal.
Dimitira: Can't I explain anything?
Beta: No one likes you anyway.

[At the boardwalk, cassie is giving Justin the atomic wedgie and Chris is now wearing an appropriate-coloured jacket. All the guy Rangers (including half the population at the time) are cheering Cassie on.]

Cassie: Say it!
Justin: Okay, okay, I am a little turd!
Cassie: And?
Justin: And you are the most attractive Ranger!
Cassie: And?
Justin: You weren't in "The Mystery Files Of Shelby Woo."
Ashley: (arriving just in time) Is Justin okay?
Chris: Got me. This is really sweet. You won't believe the secrets this little guy had.
Ashley: Down to business... (serious tone) You guys need to take off those jackets before you do something you regret. And hurry! the Flu Centurian is on the rampage.
Justin: (wincing in pain) Again? Can't we leave him alone for ten minutes?
TJ: Why should we take off our hideous jackets?
Ashley: Because why would you wear something hideous?
TJ: Good point.

[The rangers all take off their jackets and return to normal.]

Carlos: Whoa!
Cassie: What happened?
Justin: You were giving me an atomic wedgie. Are you sorry?
Cassie: No.
Ashley: Come on, guys, we need to stop the Flu Centurian!

[The rangers dash off, leaving Justin behind.]

Justin: (walking very unusually) Wait up, guys!

[The rangers (and pretty soon, Justin) reach the city where FC is going nuts with his gun.]

Ashley: Stop it!
FC: Who are you?
TJ: We're the Power People.
FC: You are?
Carlos: Yeah, we just started today.
FC: Ah, the Power People. Target practice!

[FC starts blasting at them, always mssing.]

TJ: Paste Into Turkey!

[The ranegrs all morph and pose.]

All: Power People Turkey!
FC: For some reason, a fight scene here would not do well, and I am contacted to use my zord once in every episode. Roto Rooter!

[FC's Roto Rooter heads into a large comical tunnel.]

FC: It's time to engage Roto Rooter Battle Mode! Go!

[The Roto Rooter turns into a humanoid robot and heads off to rampage throughout the city.]

TJ: The fool. Doesn't he remember we have...
All: Turkey MegaZord Power Now!

[The six TurkeyZords crash and burn and merge together to form Turkey MegaZord.]

TJ: Let's go!

[Sudddenly, one of DivaToxic's torpedoes, carrying a huge anger jacket, hits the RR and it is suddenly wearing an anger jacket of it's own.]

Chris: Oh, man, that thing is even worse in mega size.
Ashley: Hey!

[Ashley whaps Chris on the head.]

[The MZ and RR head off and battle each other for a while.]

TJ: I've got an idea.

[TJ jumps from the zord head and falls flat against the street.]

TJ: (funny nasal voice) I'm okay.

[TJ jumps up again and lands in the RR cockpit.]

FC: Intruder! Intruder! Prepare to die a horrible...

[TJ yanks the battries out of FC's back. FC slumps forward sgainst the steering wheel. TJ rips off the jacket and turns FC back on.]

FC: What happened?
TJ: You went on a monster bezerker rampage and wore a hideous jacket.
FC: Again? Well, I'll have to get this awful overgarment off the Roto Rooter.
TJ: Cool I'm headed back to the MegaZord.

[TJ leaps out of the RR and crashes into a business building, right on the table during an important conference.]

Boss: What the?
TJ: Uh, keep up the good work.

[TJ jumps again and lands in the MZ.]

TJ: I gotta work on my jumping.

Divatoxic: Fire Torpedoes!
Porko: At what?
Divatoxic: The Monster I have up there.
Porko: You have a monster up there?
Divatoxic: Yeah!
Rybog: Firing torpedeoes one and two!

[The torpedoes fire and grow the monster version of Madame E.]

Madame E: What darling Power people!
TJ: Another monster! Wow, the excitement sure doesn't end in Power People!
Cassie: Shut up, TJ.
Justin: You better lsiten to her TJ, She gives a killer atmoic wedgie.

[Madame E sends plaid around the MZ and sends bolts of electricity to it, short-circuiting the MZ.]

TJ: Whoa! Is this job exciting.
Chris: You're so full of it, you know that?

[The RR breaks through the plaid.]

TJ: Thanks, Flu Centurian. MegaZord Spin Fry!

[The MZ spins uncontrollably and manages to destroy the monster somehow.]

[At the Boardwalk, a stand runner is setting fire to all his Anger jackets.]

Ashley: Well, there goes my only chance at clothes designing.

Chris: (putting his arm around Ashley) Don't worry. Perhaps you're serving the world better this way.
Ashley: (removing Chris's arm) Cassie, give him an atomic wedgie.
Justin: (covering his eyes) I can't watch.

[At the Youth Hostel, a guy, let's call him Austin because I think that's his name, is sitting down with food and several textbooks. The invisible Hulk and Dull take the opposite chairs. They are slowly but surely returning back to normal.]

Hulk: Hey, Dull, this is the life.
Dull: You said it Hulkie.

[Hulk, who is perfectly visible at this time, takes Austin's burger and waves it in the air.]

Hulk: The increadible flying hamburger! (eats it) disappears!

[Austin pours his milkshake on Hulk's head.]

Austin: The increadible retard! Disappears!

[Austin leaves. Hulk and Dull have surprised expressions on their faces. Lt Stone comes up.]

Lt Stone: Hulkmeyer! Dullovitch! (hugs Hulk real real hard. Hulk's eyes begin to bug out) The show's been going downhill since you left! What have you been up to?
Dull: Well, we put on Shakespeare, and we raked in lots of cash during our own production on Hamlet. We're planning to do MacBeth next summer.
Lt Stone: Well, welcome back to the show.

[Lt Stone leaves.]

Hulk: how does this episode end?
Dull: I dunno.


Justin: Okay okay, I am a little turd!
Cassie: And?
Justin: And I forgot my lines.
[They all laugh.]

Smelgar: Oh, I get it, you're yankning my chain, aren't you?
[Cuts the chain, Ashley flips out. A second later, Chris bursts right through the truck door.]
Chris: Ow.
Ashley: You okay?
Smelgar: Oh, that's gotta hurt.
Director: Can we try that again?
Chris: It kinda hurt.
Rybog: That was really a good action shot.
Chris: Thank you...
Rybog: Rybog.
Chris: Rybog! Thank you RYBOG! TJ | Shellfish Ward
Justin | Blake Fosters Beer
Carlos | Roger Tobasco
Ashley | Tracy Lynn Crud
Cassie | Patricia Ya Man
Chris | Guy Innomnate
Hulk | Paul Deep Frier
Dull | Jason Smarvy
Lt. Stone | Greg Bullet
Written by | Chris Neumann