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He was getting really agitated, so I stopped the small-talk. We just sat there for a long moment -- me staring at him, him staring at his plate. I realized that the outcome of this talk might very well indicate whether or not Blair and I could truly survive here, away from Cascade. And since I didn't think he could survive in Cascade, after the dissertation mess, it would be the life or death of us. I took a deep breath and started to talk.
"Sandburg... Chief.... I know we both gave up a lot to get to this point. I know you worry that I lost something important when I left my job as a detective, and I know you worry that I'm wasting away in this security guard job. I also know about the hurt, anger, and confusion you feel about the way you left Rainier.
"I apologize to you for reading your journal. It was wrong of me to invade your privacy that way, regardless of my worry, but it did give me some insight into why you're having so much trouble moving on. I hope you'll forgive me for using that knowledge now.
"You're unhappy because you think I'm unhappy. I... I'm not going to lie to you, Chief, I am unhappy--but not for the reasons you think.
"I'm not unhappy over leaving my family and friends in Cascade, that's what phones, letters, and email are for.
"I'm not unhappy over my 'demotion' to security guard. I'm still 'protecting the tribe,' but it's a lot less stressful and with more stable hours. Besides, if I wanted to be a cop, I could -- Simon would give me a recommendation.
"I'm certainly not unhappy over leaving the loft -- just look at this place! We may not have as much open space indoors, but we've got a nice yard, not to mention our own pool.
"Chief, I'm unhappy because you're unhappy, which is ridiculous, considering you're unhappy because I'm unhappy. It seems to me if we both agree to let go of all of this -- if we can both just forgive and forget and give ourselves permission to enjoy this new life -- then everything will be okay.
"So, what do you say?"