Not Today
by Nyx

Sayings Selected:
1. I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?!
16. Marriage is finding that special someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
20. All stressed out with no one to choke!
21. I am not in denial.
22. I know I came in this room for a reason
31. Your lips keep moving, but all I hear is "Blah, blah, blahÉ"
36. Please don't interrupt me when I'm ignoring you.
39. I am not obsessive. I am not obsessive. I am not obsessive. I am not....

~*~

You know you walked into the room for a reason, but you'll be damned if you can remember what. That's how your mind has been lately. Between FreeLance and the Express Mail packages of songs everyone is sending you for the next album you haven't had time to piss much less concentrate on something really important. Something important like your wedding coming up in five weeks and three days. Not that you're keeping that close track on when it is. It's not like you're obsessive. Really, you're not.

You hear the door to your office open and take a quick glance over your shoulder. You love Chris, you really do, but now is not the time for whatever mayhem he has planned. You have contracts and a mountain of paperwork to go over and it just keeps piling up. And you really need to get it done so you don't have to worry about it while you're on your honeymoon. You have other things you want to think of in Hawaii. Namely how many places you can have marital sex since you already know how many you can have premarital sex there. And it's your goal to break that record.

You look again cause Chris is quiet and that's not your fiancŽ. He couldn't sit still and be quiet if you bound and gagged him. You know cause you've tried that too. You liked it a lot and add that to your list of things to do on your honeymoon because just yes.

Chris makes you remember the reason you went into your office. You don't want to explore the reason why because thinking about Chris will get you dick hard and then you can't think. Your dick being hard around Chris is like someone handing out free popsicles to a schoolyard of kids. Slurp, slurp, slurp until it's all gone.

You know you shouldn't have had the thought of Chris blowing you. You swear the guy has radar on your dick and him pouncing on you on a hardwood floor isn't all that comfortable. You try to push him off you because you really need to do work. He really wants to play, though, and tickles you until you're yelling between snort-laughs for him to stop. He only does when he finally gets to blow raspberries on your Adam's apple. It's annoying as hell when he does it, but he can get away with it because he's Chris. Just like he gets away with calling you Jimmy. And you really hate that name.

"Do something with me."

"I've got work to do."

"Fuck work. Can't it wait?"

"ChrisÉ"

You whine his name and he whines yours right back. Fuck. Pouncing then raspberries then mocking. You try to wiggle away from him before the situation gets any more out of control. After all, you did just remember why you went into your office. He grabs your ankle to keep you from going far and the next thing you know you're the recipient of a Wet Willie with you on your back, your head on his crotch and his legs wrapped around you so you can barely move your arms.

"Ha! I got you now. I got you! I got you!"

He sing-songs the words over and over and it's annoying as hell. You groan and wonder again how much Cupid is laughing his ass off at you for making you fall for Chris. And ask him to marry you because he's gonna be annoying the piss out of you for the rest of your life. Another Wet Willie in the other ear and you finally break away wiping your ears because his spit on your dick is one thing, in your ear is another.

"Alright, I'll play with you."

You huff the words and he frowns. You hate it so much when he does that. As annoying and irritating and hyper and a million other things as Chris is Chris is fun and makes you have fun. And now you've gone and hurt the guy's feelings.

"I'm sorry. I've just got a lot of stuff to do before the wedding andÉ"

"No, it's cool. I'll leave you alone."

Yep, you did it. Chris is leaving the room and you feel about as small as gnat. You try to call him back into the room, but he closes the door behind him with a quiet click. You sigh and think you'll make it up to him later. You'll just finish what you have to get done and worry about what you need to get done later. Later after you make Chris smile again because that's what he does for you every morning. Even on those mornings when you made it out of bed and got dressed and didn't think the world should ask for much more from you. And that thought makes you feel even smaller than a gnat.

You open the door and call him, but he doesn't answer. Dammit. Now he's ignoring you and you were the one that was trying to ignore him. He interrupted you doing it and now he's doing it and that just irritates you to no end. You turn off the light and leave your office because oh hell no is he gonna ignore you when you're trying to ignore him. And while you're at it he's not allowed to get mad at you for not wanting to play. You went into your office to do something for him now that you remember what the hell it was. Well, for him in a round about way anyway.

"Chris?"

"Yeah?"

You find him in the garage with a can of oil rubbing down the seat of his Harley. He's calmly sitting on a little stool with wheels on the bottom and it's taking everything in you not to choke him. Does he realize how stressed you are right now? You can't choke him though. That'll seriously affect your sex life and you're not willing to give that up. Then there's that whole wedding thing you're looking forward to. You've put a lot of work into it and you want to see how it turns out. First you've gotta get him to stop being mad at you and you've gotta stop being mad at him.

"What did you want to do?"

"Don't worry about it, Lance. Go ahead and do whatever you need to do. I think I'm gonna take my bike out for a while and leave you alone."

"No."

You say it with a Justin Timberlake worthy pout because just no. You're not gonna let him leave the house with him upset and disappointed on that damn death trap of his. He looks at you and you cross your arms over your chest. He stands up and drops a kiss on your pout and puts away the can of oil.

"You're not leaving, Chris."

He taps the automatic garage door opener and the door opens with a click, but he's not talking to you. And he's still calm. Alright, he wants to play this game you can play too.

"Blah, blah, blah, yeah, whatever."

No he did not just give you a dismissive wave. Has he lost his mind? Does he realize that you haven't just been the victim of insanity for the past three years, but a student of it too?

You snatch the keys out of the bike on your way back into the house. That finally gets his attention on you enough for him to follow you while he's bitching that you did it. You stop his bitching turning around in the kitchen and spraying him with a can of whipped cream. He gasps and whip cream is up his nose and it's your turn to pounce. The can goes flying, but you don't care if it breaks something cause your lips are vibrating against his throat and he's laughing.

"Play with me, play with me. PLAY WITH ME!"

You whine the words bouncing on his stomach and he laughs harder. You're still not done, though, cause you haven't tickled him so hard he has to piss. So you do and he flips you over and kisses you, hard and wet and tasting like Readi-Whip. And you kiss him back because he tastes so damn good.

"You're crazy."

"Am not, you are," you tell him while he pulls up your shirt. And yeah, you had a good idea this is what he wanted when he walked into your office in the first place. You delegate why you went in there to the back of your mind now because his lips are against your Adam's apple again and he's not blowing raspberries this time.

"You are. You're just in denial."

"I'm not in denial, just didn't want you mad at me."

"I wasn't mad, I just wanted you to do something with me."

"This?"

"No, but this is fun too," he grins, and you feel that grin against your collarbone while his hand dives into your jeans. "What did you need to do that was so damn important anyway?"

"Doesn't matter," you say, and yank his mouth back to yours by the hair. You'll tell him later that you were looking over the papers your lawyer sent you. Papers about building a new home for the two of you on that piece of land Chris convinced you to buy a few years ago. You wanted it because you liked the view back then. Now you want to build a home on it for the two of you. That can wait until later, though. You're too busy playing with your fiancŽ for work today.

End

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