I Was A Teenage Monster
(Program 18; Filmed 11/67; Broadcast 1/16/67)
The Monkees are hired by a mad scientist who wants to use the group to teach his Monster how to rock 'n' roll, and more! The song "Your Auntie Grizelda" is featured, along with brief snippets of "Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day" and "(Theme From) The Monkees."

• Mike: "We can't tutor a computer." (29K)
• Peter and Davy: "Fellas, I find it hard to believe he's dangerous." ... "I find it very hard to believe Peter." (81K)
• Mike: "Doctor, I cannot risk my life and the lives of my men for such a foolhardy experiment, and for such a pittance of a sum as $100." (215K)
• Mike: "Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care." (51K)
• Peter: "You said... you said that if I made dinner every night, and made my bed, I could have a pet!" (84K)
• Davy: "Nah, Frankenstein isn't a good name for a singer. It doesn't even sound Italian." (83K)
• Mike: "He looks like a long haired nearsighted monster with a guitar." (62K)
• Peter and Mike: "Hey look fellas, all the comforts of home!" ... "Your home, shotgun, not mine." (89K)
• Mike: "Yeah, well I'm very fatalistic. I figure either an electrode's got my name on it, or it hasn't." (98K)