Two:
Emily's resolve to discuss her husband's secrets with him had to wait a few days. The week had been extraordinarily busy, and she'd had to work late a couple of nights.
Saturday, the newlyweds had the whole day to themselves. They'd planned a bike trip into the mountains. She had really been looking forward to it, so she was rather put out when Jason suggested they take a slightly different route. However, there was something distant about his demeanor that precluded her from challenging him.
Their route had taken them out into the desert. The rocks there were rugged, and the weather was scorching. The two hardly spoke at all. At last, Jason called a halt. As they sipped their water, Emily observed her husband looking off into the distance, as if he was scanning the horizon for something in particular. His face was filled with a curious mixture of fondness and sadness... like he was remembering something that he wished with all his might he could relive. In her heart, she knew what that something was.
"Is it still out there?" she asked softly.
"Is what still out there?"
"Whatever it is you're looking for."
He didn't answer right away, and when he did, his words were enigmatic. "Part of it is, I'm sure. It was here long before anyone else was, and it'll be here long after we're all gone... no matter what happens to it."
"What was it like, being a Power Ranger?" she asked boldly, her gaze fixed across the sands, trying to see if she could glimpse what consumed her spouse.
Jason stared at his wife in disbelief. He could tell from her eyes that she wasn't guessing. She knew.
"How long have you known?" he asked wonderingly. "Did Kim tell you?"
Emily had been unusually withdrawn... preoccupied... since Monday. Tommy had mentioned that Kim said that she and Emily had had a good talk, but she hadn't specified the subject matter.
"No. I've known since we'd first started dating," Emily answered. "The only thing Kimberly told me that I didn't already know or suspect was why you'd never told me."
She drew her gaze back from the horizon and offered him a tired smile.
"Oh, God, Em...." Jason exclaimed, choking up. He pulled her into a fierce hug, as if he'd never let her go. The intensity of his emotions at that moment were rather startling to them both. His sense of relief at being able to share that part of his life was more profound than he ever imagined it would be. "Can you ever forgive me for not telling you?"
"For the longest time, it hurt that you wouldn't trust me," his wife began, not mincing with words. "But one of the things that most impressed me about you was that you always kept your word. I understand why you couldn't tell me, and I don't need to forgive you for being true to yourself."
"You're amazing, you know that?" Jason murmured, as his mouth sought out hers, and they both could tell there was something different in their kiss. It was a sense of openness, yet neither had ever felt as if they had been hiding before. It was liberating and intoxicating, and they reveled in the sensation for as long as they had the air.
"So, are you going to tell me what it was like?" Emily panted with a smile as they broke apart to catch their breath.
"You really want to know?" he asked, obviously eager to tell her whatever she wanted to know.
"Hey, it's not every day you find out your husband was a teenage superhero."
Jason laughed. "It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It was also one of the most terrifying. Having the power to save the world was pretty cool, and it felt really good to be able to make a difference, but at the same time, it was a huge responsibility for a kid to have. Most of us barely had our driver's licenses and we were piloting machines more sophisticated than anything put up by NASA. Then there was being faced with your own mortality on a daily basis. Even with super powers, we weren't invincible. We all had to grow up pretty quickly."
"Yet, you miss it," Emily noted.
"Knowing what I do, I'd still accept Zordon's offer again in a heartbeat. And I'm pretty sure all the others feel the same way even Tommy."
"He had a more difficult time than the rest of you?" Emily asked; she hadn't lived in Angel Grove when the Rangers first appeared, and Kimberly had only supplied her with the barest of outlines of their early history. "I've always wondered how you two became so close so quickly, since I know you didn't meet until high school."
"I know, but it seems like we've known each other all our lives." Jason suddenly looked skyward, shading his eyes against the brilliant glare, taking in the cloudless expanse. "Tell you what; let's find some place with a little more shade, and I'll tell you some stories."
"I'd like that very much," she agreed quietly. "Do you think that the thing/place you were looking for would have shade?"
He grinned at her suggestion and realized he'd like nothing better than to show her what was left of the Power Chamber after Divatox's last assault.
"It should have plenty."
~*~
Later that evening, sunburned and exhausted, the Scotts lay in their bed. Emily snuggled closer to Jason, feeling more at ease than she had in a while. She understood her husband and his friends much better now. Seeing the remains of their headquarters... parts of their history... had been staggering. She hadn't needed to see it to believe it, but she was grateful to Jason for having shared it with her. It thrilled her to hear of their triumphs and chilled her to know of their close calls. She doubted she could have handled the knowledge had she known when Jason had still been an active Ranger.
She could also see how facing life or death situations could create bonds between the friends where no gesture was too great in the name of friendship. It horrified her to hear what Tommy had endured during his days as the Green Ranger, and she was ever so grateful that Jason had been able to save him from the fate Rita Repulsa had in store for him. While Kim hadn't given her the details on how exactly Tommy and Jason had wound up having sex, she imagined that it had to have come out of the extraordinary bond they shared.
She had been planning on pursuing the matter of her husband's affair with his best friend today as well; however, Jason had opened up such a huge chunk of his soul to her that she didn't have the heart to press him. That would be a topic for another day.
For his part, Jason lay in bed, studying the ceiling, one had tucked under his head, the other wrapped about Emily. He was exhausted physically and emotionally. They had covered a lot of ground during the afternoon, and he felt worlds better for having the truth out at last. But there was still one matter preying on his spirit.
Emily seemed to be in a better mood than she had in some time, and while he didn't want to upset her, he had to tell her. Perhaps now, after knowing some of the history of his and Tommy's friendship, she might be able to understand and accept.
"What is it, hon?" Emily queried, as if sensing his resolve.
"Em, there's something else I want to tell you about me and Tommy. I tried to tell you once before, but you didn't want me to. However, I need to tell you, so don't put me off."
She said nothing, so Jason forged on. "Once, while the two of us were split up, I had a menage a trois with Tommy and Kim... only, I didn't just have sex with Kim. I had sex with Tommy, too."
And he waited, holding his breath.
Emily was suddenly very grateful Kimberly had told her what little she had of those events. It softened the blow somewhat, yet it still startled her to hear Jason admit it. Even so, she was at least able to keep her surging emotions under control as she responded.
"You and Tommy... was there any particular reason you guys did it or was it just the heat of the moment?" she asked. She couldn't help but smile as she noted her husband's incredulous expression. "What?"
"You're taking this better than I thought you would," he murmured.
"I was sort of thinking the same thing," she confessed with a nervous laugh. "I'm surprised... confused... but I'm not really angry or anything like that."
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear that," Jason replied, his relief evident.
"So why did you guys have sex?" Emily pressed.
"I wish it was as simple as heat of the moment," Jason began, holding Emily tighter. "I don't think you know this, but Tommy's bisexual, and he's been in love with me since the day we met."
"Did you know?"
"Not until a few years ago. He told me right after I'd come home to help out with the children's shelter."
"Wasn't that when Tommy and Kimberly got back together?"
"Uh huh."
Now Emily was totally lost. Jason chuckled.
"If you recall, at the time, I'd told you their relationship was complicated, but then, even I didn't fully realize just what it a mess it really was," he said, taking a deep breath. "I'm not sure I can explain it all. All I know is that the whole time Tommy and Kim were dating, she thought he was gay and in love with me. Shoot, Tommy thought he was gay and in love with me... until Kim finally dumped him and he realized he was in love with her, too. Ultimately, he told me so that he could get Kim back."
"How'd you take it?"
"I was shocked. Flattered. Disbelieving... but mostly hurt that he'd never told me before," Jason answered honestly. "That's what hit me the hardest: his not confiding in me. I thought I knew him, and it turns out I didn't know him at all. Let me tell you, it was one of the hardest things in the world for me to tell him I didn't share those same feelings. I loved him dearly... just not like that."
"He must have known, though, for him never to have told you," his wife pointed out.
"He did. And in the wake of his admission, not a lot of things changed between us. There were little things.... I'd occasionally catch a look or a sigh of longing. Or I'd see him sneaking a peek at another guy things he'd always had to hide before, and I was happy for him. It was as if I'd somehow known he was holding something inside, and now he was free.
"It boggled my mind that he could love Kim as much as he did and still have those feelings for me. I know one thing, having Tommy come out to me brought me closer to my cousin Eric."
"The one half the family shunned at our wedding?"
"Yes. A lot of folks turned their back on him when he admitted to being gay. Seeing how he was treated, by family no less, really shaped how I handled things with Tommy," Jason said. "I talked with Eric a lot, trying to get some answers so I could understand Tommy a little better. I give Eric a lot of credit for answering some very intrusive question, but I think he knew they were sincere and not prying. Although, my cousin couldn't quite relate to Tommy since he had no interest in girls.
"I guess you could say Eric was responsible for my going through with having sex with Tommy... or at least, made me open to the idea."
"How so?"
"He told me some stories about his first time with another guy it hadn't gone well. The other guy had only been interested in getting into his pants... wasn't interested at all in Eric."
"That happens to women all the time," Emily snorted.
"I know; it just seemed worse somehow in a guy's case. I guess I was thinking that it would be difficult enough for Tommy to reach out to another man without being hurt. I had no worries about Tommy being intimate with Kim, but it mattered to me more than I can say that his first homosexual experience be with someone who cared.
"I can't even really pinpoint when I'd made up my mind to offer myself. While I knew I wouldn't exactly be the greatest of lover, technique-wise, I knew that he wouldn't get hurt.
"When it happened, Tommy wasn't the one who made the first move he wouldn't I did. We'd been talking about the fact that he and Kim had just started being intimate, and he didn't pull any punches in his descriptions, either. All that talk had made me pretty horny. Also, some of Eric's stories had made me curious.... To make a long story short, I told Tommy he could give me a blowjob, like he'd always wanted to.
"Em, I can't even begin to describe the look he gave me: joy, gratitude, love. At that time, I'd never seen anything like that from anyone, but at that moment, I realized I'd done him the greatest favor in the world." Jason paused, chuckling. "It wasn't the best blowjob I'd ever had, but I don't think I've had one that was more heartfelt.
"Tommy had been willing to be content with just that... he honestly had no thought of me doing anything to reciprocate, but I just knew that there was so much more he wanted to do. I goaded him into telling me the one thing he'd always wanted to do to me."
"Fuck you?" Emily interjected, surprising herself, as well as Jason, with her raw query.
"Kiss me," her husband corrected. "That didn't seem so bad... certainly no worse than the blowjob, so I let him. Lord, Em, it was amazing. He kissed me as if he'd never have another chance to do so. He must have put every ounce of passion he felt for me into it. I could feel just how much I meant to him, and there was no way I could turn my back on that much emotion. He laid his soul open, and I couldn't not give something back; I had to let him know that there were feelings on my end of it, too.
"From there, things just happened, and I willingly led the way."
Thus far, Emily could see how things had progressed the way they had. Although Jason had made the first move, the two of them pretty much had been caught up in the heat of the moment. Knowing Jason as she did, she could understand that. However, there was something that, knowing Jason as she did, she couldn't quite understand. "So how did Kimberly enter into the picture?"
"She walked in on us, saw everything from the kiss to Tommy taking me. There were a few tense moments as we tried to sort everything out. Tommy was terrified that he'd driven Kim away, and she was in tears.... But she wasn't angry. A little fearful that Tommy preferred me to her. A little jealous. But mostly, she was happy for him, and grateful that I had done this for him.
"The threesome was her idea. She'd always wanted Tommy to know what it would be like not to have to chose between us."
"So you never actually did anything with Kim?" There was a hopeful lilt to her voice that she couldn't quite suppress.
Jason smiled ruefully. "I'm afraid I did Kim, all right. I think Tommy wanted to see her and me together as much as she wanted it for him. It was the most total sharing I'd ever experienced, and I can't really say that I'm sorry it fell out that way."
He fell silent, allowing his spouse to absorb his confession. He prayed that her acceptance thus far was in her heart and not just on the surface.
"I'm not angry," she said at last. "How can I be, really? It happened while we were officially apart at my request and you did try to tell me. And it was just a one- time thing...." However, her voice faded out as she caught Jason's expression: a cross between disappointment and a wince of pain. "Jason, it was just a one-time thing, right?"
"Tommy and I only had sex that once," he began hesitantly.
"But...."
"But I think I'd like to be with him again."
"Y-you would? Why?"
He wished she didn't sound so hurt. "It's not because of anything you've done or not done. I couldn't ask for a better lover," he assured her with a kiss to her brow. "I can't really explain it. Being with Tommy is just... different, and...." He surrendered with a shrug. "I just can't explain why; all I know is that I'd like to try it again."
Emily said nothing.
"I promise you, though, that I won't do a thing without it being okay with you, too. You have my word."
The silence dragged on.
"Emily?"
She simply rolled away form him and closed her eyes, clutching her pillow tightly.
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E-mail: kittiec@starpower.net