Explanations: An Interlude
by Stephanie Moffett and Kristen Fallon

Tommy shook his head. He took a seat at the new outdoor area of the Juice Bar. Kat and Trini exchanged looks. Tommy looked depressed. Nothing new in other words but it was starting to worry everyone. Tommy sighed heavily. "The nurse said he was sleeping and not to wake him... He seems to be sleeping all the time."

"Um... Tommy," Trini said hesitantly, "He's not well. I was at the hospital all day today and I think he opened his eyes maybe once or twice. Give him a little time...."

Tommy completely missed her point. "He actually woke up? Did he say anything?"

Trini felt a headache coming on. "Tommy, he said hello and asked me what day it was. He's sick.... I'm willing to bet he barely understands what is going on."

Kat decided it was time to change the subject to a slightly less sensitive topic. "How're Aisha and Adam doing?" The teens had to take turns visiting their injured friends. Trini could get in, as could Jason... but they were on vacation from the peace conference and didn't have to worry about school. Visiting hours didn't work out with school hours and they were reduced to pleading with nurses to see their friends. A compromise had been reached, one friend per day after school, and that day was Tommy's.

Tommy's face brightened a little. The dark bruises on his face suddenly didn't look so harsh. "Adam should be getting out tomorrow, but he won't be in school until next week. His folks want him to take a break. Aisha is probably getting released next week. They both might miss finals, lucky them. It's really only Billy that...." His voice trailed off.

"Tommy, Billy will be fine." Trini said with a cheery note she didn't really feel. "It's just going to take a while."

"Really," said Kat. "Adam's getting out of the hospital after only three days. Aisha's going to be fine. Billy just needs more time to recover. He needs you to be strong and supportive while he's sick."

"He's not sick." Tommy said angrily. "He's hurt. And its my fault." He got up and stomped away. Both Kat and Trini sighed.

"I've never seen him like this." Kat said suddenly. "So... I don't know... edgy."

Trini chuckled slightly. "Tommy can be pretty moody when he wants. Once you get to know him better, you'll see that this is how Tommy copes with things. Once he understands that Billy will be okay... he'll calm down a little. This is his way of relieving stress."

"Yes but... is Billy going to okay?" Kat said the words that they all had been avoiding. In a way, she felt it was her place to be the realistic one. She barely knew Billy when it came down to it. And the guy she had thought was Billy was dead. She could be objective... sort of at least. Objective enough to know that after spending four months captive in Lord Zedd's palace, Billy wasn't going to be okay. "You've gotten to see him, Trini. How is he really?"

"Honestly, Kat he pretty much sleeps all day." Trini felt her eyes welling up wit tears and paused. "He was awake this morning but I only got a moment to see him. His dad forced the doctor to let me in. He was having a hard time registering what people were saying. He asked me why I wasn't in Geneva." Trini couldn't help it, she burst into tears. "That... that thing sent me letters, Kat. We made plans to get together. I feel so awful...." She let herself cry for a few moments, and Kat gave her a reassuring hug. Ernie unobtrusely set a box of kleenex on the table and Trini dried her eyes. "The doctors were saying that he should be all right, in the physical sense. I just hope he can keep himself together."

"Well... if he can deal with the last few months without being driven insane already, I think he has a pretty good chance of being okay." Kat crossed her fingers. So did Trini.

~*~

"And as soon as we get you up and around, we'll have an out patient schedule set up for you." The doctor smiled. Billy cursed himself. Something was being arranged and he had missed it. _Did he say therapy?_ Billy pondered. He thought he caught the most important part though.

"I can leave here soon?" He didn't like the hospital. All the door banging and people rushing in and out of his room made him nervous. If he had the slightest bit of energy left, he wouldn't be able to sleep. It seemed like someone different was in his room everytime he opened his eyes. It was scary.

The doctor frowned and glanced over at his father. He thought it was his dad... the light was pretty low but he was pretty sure. So far, his father had been in his room whenever he was awake. That eased his terror... his dad reassuring him. "Well, Billy, not for a few days. Maybe in a week. But you understand that..."

He closed his eyes. A week... he didn't want to stay that long. Slowly he realized that the doctor was still droning on. He considered opening his eyes again. He didn't feel like participating though. But, something was bothering him. He opened his eyes again and really looked around the room. "Dad?"

"Yes, Billy? What is it?" His father stepped over to the bed.

"Where's... where's Mom?" Billy's voice shook a little. It was really unlike his mom to not be, well... there. "I haven't... seen her... I think...." He knew that he was pretty confused, but he was pretty sure about that. In his few waking moments the last day or two... or three, he wasn't really sure about that, he hadn't seen his mom. He could vaguely recall Trini coming by, but not his mom. "Is she okay?"

"Um...." His dad's face took on an even sadder caste. He blinked back tears. Billy saw and suddenly remembered. The shooting... his mom's funeral... how his dad had just been picking himself up out of the pit of despair he'd been in when the whole clone mess really began. He could feel tears welling up in his own eyes.

"Oh, Dad, I'm sorry.... I... I forgot. I didn't mean to...." He blinked backed the tears. He could feel the exhaustion setting in again. "I'm so sorry.... I'm...."

His father pulled him into an embrace. "No.... This is my fault... I was so wrapped up in my own problems... I've been a monster parent." Billy could feel his father's tears wet on his skin.

"No... it's... okay...." Billy couldn't find it in his heart to blame his father.

"No it's not." His father hugged him hard. "But I promise... things are going to okay. I want to start over...."

"All right...." Billy rested his head on the pillow and sighed. Whatever, he thought, he'd caused his father enough suffering. He let his eyes close and drifted off... only to slowly find himself listening in to the doctor talk. _Oh well,_ he thought to himself, _it's eavesdropping but..._

"....no, he isn't catatonic, Mr. Reeves," he heard the doctor say quietly. "He's very responsive...."

"But..." his father said, concern heavy in his voice, "He doesn't seem... I don't know, fully aware."

"It's shock mostly." He could hear the doctor ruffle through his papers. "Really... if this was all just physical, I would seriously consider releasing him tomorrow. I'm concerned about his weight loss, of course but that's very easy to fix. The light sensitivity isn't life threatening and he just needs to be careful in the sun until he's more acclimated. I'm also concerned about the partially healed skull fracture the x-ray picked up, but it is healing...."

_Skull fracture?_ Billy wondered... he'd been hit on the head but he knew he hadn't been out for very long....

"... I think, judging from the good reflex responses and the MRI that there was no permanent damage, though I'm sure his headaches haven't been fun, and he'll probably continue to have them for a while. Its one of those things we really can't be sure of until he's better physically. The wounds on his back, legs, and chest look worse than they are...."

Wounds.... he didn't remember getting any wounds recently.

"... and fortunately there's no sign of infection. "

"Isn't...." His dad was hesitant. "Is there a greater danger of... complications if he's home?" His father, he could tell, was trying hard not to cry.

"From what I can tell and from considering the conditions that the Pink Ranger described... the palace, for all its unpleasantness, was a fairly sterile environment. I'd say at this point, it's likely his immune system isn't up to snuff simply due to the lack of germs... but the marks...."

Billy could feel the doctor raising his shirt and broke his silence. "Don't touch me...." he muttered and pushed away the doctor's hand. He twitched nervously as the doctor's cold hand brushed again his skin. He struggled to keep his eyes open.

"Billy, it's just me, Dr. Reardon." The doctor' voice was soothing, and Billy could recall vaguely that it was the same doctor that he'd been going to since he was little. He tried to relax a little as Dr. Reardon examined the marks on his stomach. "Do you know how this happened, son?"

Billy looked down at the marks, and tried to ignore his dad's sharp intake of breath. He was a little too startled himself to worry much about his reaction. There were long, jagged, scabbed over slashes on his stomach. Some looked almost healed, and some looked very recent. Too recent. "I... I don't know...." His voice trailed off. "I don't remember."

"Billy...." The doctor took a seat on the edge of the bed. "Can you tell me what you do remember?"

"It was cold. And dark...." Billy stopped. It was cold, it was dark. He was hungry all the time and scared to the point of barely being able to sleep but... with the exception of the last few hours, when he met Kat, he didn't have very many details to draw on. He held his head, trying desperately to recall something... anything. Nothing... just an empty blank place in his memory. "I don't... there's nothing there...." He felt a sudden rush of terror and tears came to his eyes, despite his efforts not to cry.

"Billy...." The doctor pulled his hands away. "It's okay... We don't expect you to have instant recall. I'm just a little worried about these cuts, but it's not that important. I don't want you to worry about this, okay?"

Billy nodded, but with no real conviction. He wiped away the tears and took a few deep breaths, trying to get some sort control back. Something had to be wrong... his memory was usually pretty good. And he was afraid, but of what? His father was upset too. He didn't like that at all... his dad didn't deserve to be upset even more. He felt suddenly ashamed, to cry in front of his father and... something touched the edge of his mind... laughter. He felt his cheeks burning and backed away from whatever it was. It didn't help that he was getting pretty sleepy again. "Okay... ," he said quietly, and he closed his eyes, giving in to his exhaustion. He felt himself drifting off and tried to give in to the feeling but the doctor was still talking to his dad. He liked Dr. Reardon but he wished that they would take the conversation elsewhere.

"... is why I want to keep him here longer. A psychiatric exam would help clarify if it's true memory loss or simply post traumatic stress."

"I just don't know if I want some strange doctor interrogating him." His father sounded tired... he wondered if his dad had actually gone home the last few days. "I mean... he isn't exactly easy talking to you, and...."

"And I'm familiar, yes. Look, Ward,... whether its true amnesia or not, you need to understand... post traumatic stress is going to be a problem. He may never really remember what happened, or he could remember tomorrow. He needs to be prepared for either. Counselling isn't an option, its a necessity. I know several good therapists...."

_Not good,_ Billy thought to himself. He didn't really want to discuss much of anything with anybody, to be honest. And there were things he simply couldn't discuss, even to a psychiatrist. Well, actually he could, but telling a shrink that he was really a Power Ranger was not a good idea. He'd end up in an institution. He just wanted out of the hospital sooner.

He drifted off... only to awaken minutes? hours? later. It was hard to keep track of the time. The lights were still dimmed, though he could see daylight stream through around the edges of the curtain. He brushed his hair out of his eyes and looked around. His father was sitting in a chair, asleep. Next to him, thumbing through a karate magazine, was Jason.

Billy felt a rush of compassion for Jason. Jason looked exhausted, like he hadn't been sleeping well. He wondered why and then, the memory of the clone's last moments hit him. Jason holding a gun... firing. The clone going over the side, dragging him along. Trini pulling him up... and Jason and Tommy beating the clone's hand off him. Then, they had pulled him up and Trini had held him as he shook in terror. And then...

And then something happened, but... Billy struggled for the memory but there was nothing. Just the same troubling blank spot. He worried. In his heart, he knew, absolutely, that something had happened on the rooftop. Something important.

But he let it go. For the first time since... before it all happened, he felt rested. Like he might be able to keep his eyes open for longer than five minutes. "Hi Jason." It suddenly struck him that it was probably the first time he'd initiated a conversation in months.

"Billy? You're awake...." Jason got up and walked over to his bed. "How're you doing?"

"I'm... awake." Billy didn't think Jason wanted to hear about his memory loss, and beyond that, there wasn't much to tell. "A little confused...."

"Why?"

"Well...." Billy felt himself blushing. "I thought... shouldn't you be in Switzerland?" He didn't want to admit it, but he wasn't quite sure what day it was, and Jason and Trini's presence continued to confuse him.

Jason chuckled. "They gave us the summer off. School ended in Geneva about two weeks ago. Remember? We talked about it on the phone last month...." Jason's voice trailed off.

"No...." Billy sighed.

Jason blushed. It was, Billy thought suddenly, possibly the first time he'd ever seen Jason do that. Jason was actually turning purple. He wondered how to end the stalemate they had reached.

There was a sudden crash out in the hallway. Billy jumped, and felt himself tensing up involuntarily. He had to physically fight the urge to curl up in a protective ball. Instead, though he tried not to, he clenched the guardrails of the bed.

"Hey... you okay?" Jason looked out into the hallway and came back, his concern obvious. "Some nurse dropped a couple trays...."

"Okay...." Something about the look Jason was giving him made him blush. A look of pity. Billy felt his anger rise suddenly. _It's so easy for Jason,_ he thought bitterly. _He has no idea of what it was like... how a loud noise meant someone had seen youand was coming after you... or you'd made a noise accidently and drawn the attention of...._

Of what? For an instant, he had been there. Lying on a cold stone floor, his body throbbing painfully from the sudden harsh impact. Trying to catch his breath back after running harder and faster than he dared risk in the semi-darkness. Cringing from the prodding and slowly, fearfully looking up into the face of.... He didn't know.

"Billy?" Jason edged towards the call button. Billy had gotten suddenly glassy eyed and unresponsive. Bad enough to see his friend obviously terrorized by loud noises, but Jason was getting worried. Billy was turning an off shade of grey.

"Yeah...." Billy shook his head, willing the vision to a safe place. He would consider it later, when he was alone. He blushed suddenly. He didn't want his friend's pity or sympathy. "I've just been... kinda tense lately... you know?"

Jason nodded. He'd been expressly warned not to upset Billy by the doctor. _Don't ask him questions, try not to react badly if he says or does anything odd. Just be calm and supportive...._ Jason heard the lie in Billy's voice. He let it go. Disagreeing would make things worse. If Billy said he was tense... then he was tense. Jason had no plans to argue with someone so sick.

"So...." Billy could tell Jason was groping for something to say. "How... how was Geneva?"

And for the rest of the visit, Jason told tales of Switzerland and wondered if Billy actually cared.

~*~

"Dad...." He nudged the eggs with his fork. "I can pour my own juice... and when did we start drinking juice anyway?" Coffee had been the standard breakfast drink in the Reeves home longer than Billy could remember.

Of course, a lot of things had changed around the house. He had noticed yesterday, upon entering the house, that it was much neater than normal. His lab had the same sparkly look that the hospital had... but he was, he often was forced to admit to his teachers, lackadaisical at best about cleaning up after experiments. His room was shockingly neat too. His closet had a shoe tree... and it was being used. It was so... organized. That morning, he'd gotten up and intentionally taken all the shoes out and dropped them on the closet floor. Then, he grabbed the grungiest clothes he could find and wore them. He wasn't going out after all... so who was going to see his really ripped jeans and ratty old preppie shirt that he'd spilled paint on. It was totally childish on his part but it made him feel good. Like he was in control of his belongings again. He was shocked, after thumbing through his wardrobe at just how much of his older clothes were still there. Considering the clone's taste was not close to his own, it surprised him to see his belongings still intact. Not that it really mattered much... everything was a few sizes too big. He was lucky he'd found a belt, or else he'd be holding his jeans all day.

"Eat your eggs." Ward waited until some egg actually made it into Billy's mouth before he turned away. "And you are drinking juice because it has Vitamin...." Ward blanked. "Well... Dr. Reardon said it was good for you. So drink it."

There was a sudden knock on the door. "Oh good..." Ward wandered off the down the hall, checking his watch as he did so. Billy smiled slightly and sipped the juice. Hopefully his dad would leave soon. He could raid the fridge for the junk food he knew was hidden behind the milk and wheat bread. Somehow he doubted that his father had truly gone on a health kick....

"Hi Billy." He choked on his orange juice. It was Trini, of all people. He'd thought it was the guys his dad carpooled with. Trini sat down andhelp ed herself to some toast.

"Uh... hi." Billy watched as Trini piled a mountain of eggs onto a plate. Obviously she was planning on staying a while. He certainly didn't seeing Trini, it just surprised him. His father and the doctors had limited visits from his friends, and he hadn't thought that it would change so soon.

Ward wandered back in and picked up his briefcase. "Well... I've got to get going. I'll be home for lunch." He took in Billy's look of bewilderment and said softly. "I asked Trini to come over... to keep you company. You know."

"Oh...." He was rather put off by that. Yes, he'd been sick but he didn't need a babysitter. "Okay...."

"Well... you two have fun." Ward awkwardly left, sensing in the back of his mind that Billy was upset. _Oh well,_ Ward thought quickly, he'd be damned if he left Billy home with no one there. The boy was still damn sick. And, it made Ward feel better knowing someone was there.

Trini waited until his father left to roll her eyes and grin. "Don't worry," she said pleasantly, hoping to take away some of the stinging humiliation that she knew Billy was feeling. She wished that Billy's dad had said something sooner. "I promise we'll have a snack before naptime."

Billy caught her teasing tone. "Well... as long as we have snacks then okay." He toyed with his eggs. "So... how did you get roped into babysitting?"

"You're lucky..." Trini said. "My mom was gonna do it.. I convinced her that you would rather have someone hanging around all day that didn't treat you like a five year old." She hesitated. "Um... also, I know how hard it must be for you to get away and I thought you'd appreciate someone who would... you know, go into a different room for a while."

"Oh...." Billy saw her point. It was a kindness few of his friends would understand. He'd spent so much time alone... everyone assumed that he wanted to be around people constantly. For the most part, he wanted to ease back into relationships. First with his father, and then with his friends. He needed a little time, and Trini, his oldest friend, was offering it.

Trini saw he got her point. She didn't want to belabor it. And, she had another more important issue to bring up. She hesitated. Billy was less than a day out of the hospital. He was still shockingly pale and no where near his normal weight. She could see the fading remnants of bruises and cuts. He was still pretty tense too. A lot of jerking back and forth at noise, twitching. Not as much shaking, which she thought was a good sign. She considered her next words carefully. "Um... Zordon's been pretty worried too. You know that, right?"

"Yes...." Billy could sort of remember hearing Zordon ask how he was doing through Tommy's communicator.

"Well... he wants to talk with you. You know... see how you are... maybe discuss some... things." Trini paused. Billy wasn't really reacting to her words. "I thought that if you wanted... you could transport to the Command Center and talk, and I could cover for you here."

Billy considered what she was saying carefully. His thinking processes were better, but he was no where near his usual comprehension speed. Trini, he could tell, was rather apprehensive about broaching the whole subject. Yet, he could see in her face that it was very important that he go see Zordon. His curiosity got the better of him. "Sure... um...." He reached for his communicator, and blushed. He'd had an older model that Kat and Adam had scrounged up to rescue him with... but he hadn't seen it since. It likely had come off in the struggle on the roof.

"Here...." Trini smiled and handed him her communicator. "Maybe today you can find a new one, or make one."

"Yeah...." Billy pressed the buttons and transported.

~*~

"Billy," boomed Zordon from his stasis field. "It is good to see you." Zordon noted that his volume had made Billy jump, and adjusted it. The issues he wanted to discuss with the Blue Ranger were sensitive to begin with. Making Billy even more tense was not part of the plan.

"It's nice to be out of the hospital...." Billy wondered what was up. Somehow he doubted that Zordon wanted to chat.

"I am sure." Zordon nodded. The giant floating head took on a grim look. "Billy... I am truly sorry that I did not realize that a switch had occurred. It is my fault that you were...."

Billy shook his head. "I don't... I don't blame anyone for what happened." He was getting tired of hearing how sorry everyone was. When it came right down to it, he only felt worse each time it was said.

Zordon nodded and let the subject go. "Billy, I am concerned about your physical condition." Zordon didn't mention how worried he was for the Blue Ranger's mental state. He could only hope that recovery was possible... and that Billy was willing to go along with what he was about to suggest. "I do not want to see you injured further by Lord Zedd and Rita. I think you need some time to recover, without the threat of battle to worry about."

"What do you mean?" Billy's head started to throb. He'd been having headaches, bad headaches. Dr. Reardon had explained that he would continue to have headaches for some time. Along with some physical therapy, he was scheduled to have a few more MRI scans in the up coming weeks. The doctors and his father hadn't said anything but he had overheard their fears that he had sustained brain damage... that there had been an dark spot on one of the scans. He massaged his temple and hoped Zordon would cut to the chase.

"A vacation, Billy." Zordon paused. "Time you can use to heal and regain your strength. Jason has offered to take your place on the team for the summer. Trini will be taking Aisha's place until her broken leg heals." Zordon waited for an answer.

"But when the summer is over...." Billy wasn't sure he understood. "I... I don't want to quit, Zordon...."

"It is a temporary change." Zordon was inwardly pleased that Billy did not want to resign. He had worried greatly that the experience in Zedd's castle had stolen Billy's will to fight. Zordon was beginning to have hope that if given time to physically recover, Billy would be all right. Now, the task was to convince the boy that not only did he need to take the summer off, but that he deserved the break. "I am worried that a battle will overtax your strength and prolong your recovery needlessly." He hesitated for a moment. "I think you understand that."

Billy nodded. He had been dreading the whole idea of a battle. Sure, he was out of the hospital, but only he knew just how hard he'd had to plead with the various doctors to get out. He felt dragged out. Weak. In a fight, he'd be toast. A liability. "I guess... I could use a break. But just from the battles...." He gestured to the computer banks. "I can still help out...."

"Of course." Zordon agreed to that easily enough. The other Rangers were not as skilled as Billy in technical areas. Certainly Adam and Kat were able to perform the standard technical functions, but for more complex situations, Billy would be needed. "As I said, it is a temporary change."

"Okay...." Billy took out his coin. Part of him knew that he needed the break, and part of him simply didn't want to argue. In the back of his mind, he wondered how temporary it really was. But, he knew Zordon had his best interests at heart.

Zordon saw the slight hesitance. The transdimenasional being didn't want to hurt Billy any further, but the change had to be made. Billy was in no shape to fight. Zordon already felt terrible just seeing how ill Billy really was. He hadn't wanted to believe Jason and Tommy's reports. And... Zordon knew that if Billy didn't make a full recovery... physically and ment ally... the change was much less temporary than it looked. "Billy...."

Billy held up his hand. He really didn't want to hear it. He was starting to feel odd. Zordon's tube seemed to be surrounded by blue light. "It's okay... really." He set the coin down. "I could use the summer off. And when the summer's over...." His headache suddenly thumped into overdrive. A wave of pain crashed through his skull. He staggered and slid to the floor, numbly hearing Zordon ask if he was okay. He looked up, expecting to see Zordon but instead, his vision was obstructed by dazzly spots. Then the spots faded into blackness....

~*~

The castle and its tunnels were a warren of twists and turns that was almost impossible to learn. He was trying though. He wasn't sure how long it'd been. Maybe a week. He had crawled off and hid for about a day, he thought, waiting for the Rangers to come and rescue him. Finally, hunger and thirst had forced him out. His stomach growled loudly, reminding him that he was still pretty hungary.

Food and water were rapidly becoming very important to him. Water was simply a matter of stealth. There were several faucets in the castle. He simply had to avoid being seen. Not as easy as it sounded. His ribs still ached from a blow from Goldar's sword. Goldar had spotted him getting a drink. He'd been lucky the blow had been with the flat and not the edge of the weapon.He was pretty sure his ribs were broken.

Food was worse. Most of the monsters did eat, but food was closely guarded commodity. It didn't look that appetizing either. Monster food, not human food. It didn't taste very good. He'd stolen a hunk of.... something. It was dry and crumbly and the taste reminded him of paste. Dry paste. And that meal had been a long time ago.

He pulled his shirt closer. It was cold too, though he had learned that some areas of the palace were warmer than others. The area underneath Zedd's throne room, for example, was frosty. He could see his breath sometimes. The tunnels near the monster quarters were warmer, though the odds of running into something were higher. He cocked his ears at the tunnel, listening for the telltale thumping footprints of one of the monsters.

They were all after him. Zedd had harangued an assembly of monsters and given the residents of the castle strict orders to find him. Then, Zedd explained to the monsters, not knowing that Billy was hiding in an alcove, when the Blue Ranger was captured, he would be killed in a very slow and very painful manner, for the amusement of Empress Rita.

Fortunately for him, the attention span and retention level of Zedd's monsters was very short. From his hiding place, he could hear several asking each other what they were supposed to be chasing. Avoiding the monsters was difficult but he was doing okay. He'd almost been caught a few times. It was hard, finding safe places to hide just to catch some sleep, and it seemed as though everytime he found a place to curl up... he was spotted. Chased. And roughed up.

He put his hand to his aching ribs, and leaned up against the tunnel wall. His ribs hurt each time he took a breath. Part of him wanted to sit down and rest, but he knew better. Sure, he'd probably hear a monster coming... they were kind of loud even when they were trying to be quiet, but he wasn't going to take that risk. He pushed off the wall tiredly. Where should I go now, he thought. He licked his dry lips and the decision came easily. To the water tap.... the water would at least fill him up. He stepped towards the right hand tunnel.

He heard a click, but he didn't register the danger until too late. Cold metal touched the exposed flesh of his neck, and he felt an explosion of pain. His entire body clenched up and all he could feel was the pain racing through him. Faintly, he heard an electrical buzzing.

The pain stopped, as quickly as it started. He fell, face forward, onto the cold stone floor. In horror, he realized that his arms and legs weren't responding. He could feel... in fact he hurt so badly that tears were streaming down his face, but something was very wrong. He could barely choke in air, and his limbs were twitching involuntarily. _Some kind of electric shock,_ he thought slowly. _Oh god... please let it be just a shock...._ Rough hands picked him up by his shirt and shook him, apparently checking his responses. He watched his arms dangle and twitch, and tried to turn his neck to see his captor but he was dropped before he could accomplish the task.

A low, feminine chuckle. "Well.... Finster was right. Electrical current does effectively immobilize you humans."

Goosebumps rose on his arms... he knew the voice, didn't he? Before he could register where he'd heard the voice, he was flipped over. His eyes widened in terror. It was Scorpina.

Scorpina laughed at his fright. She was in a pretty good mood. Normally, life at the palace was pretty dull for her. If she wasn't part of the current plan, she had little to do. When the order came down that the Blue Ranger was to be found, her life suddenly took on a new dimension. An exciting dimension. She had so much to do. Planning the hunt, consulting with Finster... and the thrill of finding and stalking the prey. Not mention actually the thrill of actually catching the Blue Ranger. She chuckled maliciously at Billy, and with lightening quickness, she struck him with her whip.

He winced. He couldn't do much more... nothing was responding. His entire body was clenching and unclenching. The whip stung, and he knew that if he lived, it would probably leave a major bruise. Somehow though, he knew Scorpina did it more to humiliate him than to hurt him. He felt the shock wearing off a bit, in that he could catch his breath. He tried to inch away, but Scorpina only chuckled, and stepped down hard on his chest.

"You can't escape me, Blue Ranger." She ground her foot down on his chest. His ribs were on fire. He could feel the darkness closing in on him.

"You... won't get... away with... this." he gasped. "The Rangers... they're...." He tried to suck in more air.

Scorpina removed her foot and bent down close to Billy's face. "They're what? Going to stop me? Please...." She stood and looked down at the trembling teen. _I really should call Lord Zedd,_ she thought suddenly, _but what will that do? Oh sure... Zedd will be pleased with me... for now... and then what? Back to the daily boredom... unless...._ She pondered the thought. Hunting the Ranger had been so exciting. Why not... throw him back? Have another chase....

She laughed again and with a mirthful chuckle, she swiped Billy with the whip again, drawing blood that time. Then without a backward glance, she walked away.

Billy groaned and slowly pulled himself up into a seated position. He took several deep breaths and touched the bleeding cut on his chest. The blood was sticky and warm on his hand. The Rangers will come soon, he told himself. It's only a matter of time. I can hold out....

~*~

"Billy? Aiy yi yi... Zordon, what should I do?"

The hands touched him again. He flinched and batted the hands away. Alpha, he thought suddenly, it was Alpha. He was in the Command Center. He pushed himself up off the floor. His head was still throbbing, and he felt nauseous. "Oh... man...."

"Billy!"

He jumped. He never realized that it was possible for a robot to shriek with happiness. "Alpha... not so loud...." He stood shakily and looked up at Zordon. "Did I... faint...." The memory flash faded away but left him feeling not only physically tired but... He rubbed his chest pensively, feeling the ridge of scabs through his shirt. Funny... it didn't really hurt anymore but... in a way it hurt worse.

"Yes, Billy...." Zordon's voice was heavy. Billy was still too ill..."You were unconscious. It took several minutes to rouse you."

"Yeah...." Billy rubbed his head. It still hurt, but the weird glow had gone away. "I... I had some sort of flashback...." But, somehow, he didn't think Zordon would understand. Or could understand. Zordon had spent the last ten thousand years in the Command Center after all.

"Perhaps you should rest." Zordon suggested. He'd never meant to cause Billy even more distress. On the other hand, the team did need to be reorganized and immediately. The team had fought undermanned during the last battle. They had done all right but it couldn't be a continual thing.

As Billy teleported out, Zordon looked gravely at the coin Billy had left behind. He wondered if he'd really done the best thing after all.

~*~

Billy grinned. Rocky was so up, he suspected it would take nothing short of a major crisis to bring him down. "Well...." He was hesitant. "I'll have to ask... come on in."

"You have to ask?" This was new, Rocky thought to himself. Billy's dad was known for his permissiveness.

"My father has gotten a little um... over concerned." Billy couldn't think of a nicer way to put it. In truth, it was a good thing that Zordon had relieved him of ranger duties a week earlier. His father had been in and out of the house all week, despite work. It was slowly getting better, but Billy knew that if he just walked out the door, the police would be called in roughly a half hour.

"Okay." Rocky considered. "Is Trini here? We can all go together...."

"No." Billy shook his head. "She had an appointment. That's why my dad came home for lunch... not that he hasn't been home for lunch everyday." Billy grinned wryly, and Rocky got the idea that perhaps Billy was finding it a bit tiresome.

Rocky thought Billy's dad had the right idea. Billy looked... well... ill. Certainly much better than before. Less nervous too. Rocky had been to visit, both in the hospital and after, and he could see the changes. Billy was less jumpy. That was good. Rocky wasn't a perceptive person but something about Billy's demeanor told him that Billy was troubled. He'd heard from Trini that Billy's memories of his time at the palace were sketchy, and he had wondered if that was what was bothering Billy. Still, it seemed to Rocky that having someone stay with Billy was a good idea.

After an extensive lecture from Billy's father on how Billy was not to walk to the Juice Bar, eat greasy food at the Juice Bar, or in any way overtax himself on the excursion, they finally got permission to leave. As Billy ruefully donned his sunglasses, Rocky could now see some of Billy's problem. Overparenting could be a drag when taken to extremes.

Upon entering the Juice Bar, Billy saw that it was nearly empty and the few kids that were there were bent over their books studying for their last finals. That was good, he thought. He wasn't completely unaware of the small measure of fame the only known person to have been in Lord Zedd's castle was likely to receive. He'd gotten cards, requests for interviews and various other offers. The cards he'd written nice thank you's too, the offers he'd turned down. He didn't want to discuss something he had only fleeting memories of.

There had not been any more flashes since the one in the Command Center. Only nightmares that left him waking up in terror and still not quite sure why. The image of Scorpina stepping on his chest haunted him, if only because he had a horrible suspicion that worse had happened. He was too marked up for that to have been all. He hadn't told his therapist... mostly because his therapist seemed put off by the whole situation. The poor man had no idea what to ask, and Billy didn't feel like volunteering. They usually discussed current events that Billy was behind on.

"Billy! Good to see you!" Ernie stepped from behind the counter and clapped him on the back. "How're you feeling? You look good! You two have a seat... whatever you want... on the house." Ernie bustled off, leaving Rocky chuckling.

"Free lunch... we should go out more often." Rocky grabbed a table and they sat down. In seconds, Ernie had thrown down cheeseburgers, fries and shakes on their table, Billy's favorites. "Thought you weren't supposed to have greasy food." Rocky added as Billy pounced on the fries.

"If you tell, I promise, I will kill you." Billy said in a mock serious tone. "Do you know what we eat now? Wheat bread, tofu, salad, fruit.... It's depressing."

"Oh the horror." Rocky chuckled, though he was surprised. On the rare occasions that he'd eaten at Billy's house, meals tended to be fairly eclectic. It was, Kimberly had told him, completely normal for Billy and his dad to eat ice cream for breakfast. Or tater tots, still frozen. Or raw hamburger placed on bread. "I won't tell... just don't pig out and get sick... then you'll be sure to get caught."

"Billy!" Billy jumped noticeably, though, Rocky thought to himself, it was understandable. If Bulk and Skull had shrieked his name that loudly, he'd have jumped to. The two junior cops sidled over to the table and sat down.

"Sorry we roughed you up the other week...." Bulk said offhandly. Skull nodded.

"S'okay," Billy muttered as he bit into the forbidden cheeseburger. He still marveled at the idea of Bulk and Skull as junior cops, but they seemed really into it. He was glad for them.

Skull looked at Bulk and Bulk nodded. They had an agenda, apparently. "Billy, you said the Pink Ranger rescued you right?"

Both Rocky and Billy choked. "Um...." sputtered Billy, "Yes, but she didn't tell me who she was...."

Bulk and Skull became crestfallen. "Well..." said Bulk, "Could you tell us what the castle was like?"

Billy paled. Rocky threw a harsh look at Bulk. "Maybe," he said in a quiet, angry voice, "it's not something he wants to discuss...."

"No...." Billy regained his composure, "It's okay... but there's not much I can tell you... I don't remember very much detail...."

"Oh..." said Skull. He considered that, and then his eyes lit up with another thought. "Did the Power Rangers ever apologize for leaving you there for so long?"

"No... they didn't." Billy said softly. Seeing Rocky's crestfallen look, he quickly added, "But I'm sure they meant too...."

"Well," said Bulk. "What do you remember about the castle? Was it filled with monsters?"

"Did the monsters look like Klingons?" asked Skull.

"I can't believe they didn't even say they were sorry...." Bulk added. It was obvious that he was disgusted. Disgusted and disappointed. "I mean... geez... bad enough they left you to rot for four months. I mean, you were pretty messed up... but to not even apologize... what jerks."

"Well...." Rocky's voice was slow and hesitant. "Maybe they are sorry... really really sorry, but they don't know what to say or how to say it.... Maybe they don't know what to say...." Rocky blushed. It was safe to say that all the rangers felt wretched abut the whole thing but it was just such a hard topic to broach.

"I figured something like that...." Billy said to Rocky. "But it's okay... I'm sure it's very hard for them and I know they are sorry."

"So you'd forgive them?" Skull asked. "Even though you're so messed up?"

Billy continued to look at Rocky, hoping to make him feel a little better. "Yes... I wish... things had worked out differently but...."

A familiar chime went off. Rocky excused himself and Bulk and Skull drifted away, leaving Billy to continued chowing down the fries. He never realized how good greasy fries were. He hoped Rocky felt better.... He knew the rangers were sorry...

"Billy?" Rocky waved him into the alcove that he'd hidden in. "We got a problem... Zordon thinks you should come with us...."

~*~

Billy sighed heavily. Aisha, in her inarticulate way, obviously expected an answer of some sort. The truth was that he felt fine. It had seemed strange, he admitted to himself, to not be heading off to the battle, but someone else in his uniform? Not really a big deal. The truth was, after his experience in the castle, being a ranger seemed easy. Tame almost. Battling a monster in a power suit was nothing compared to outwitting one with no power at all. "Well...." he said slowly, "It kinda reminds me of when you and Adam and Rocky first joined the team. Different... but okay."

"Well... I'll be glad when this cast is off and I can get back into action." Aisha leaned her crutches up against a console and slid down tot he floor. "Won't you?"

Billy fumbled with the components he was fixing. "I suppose... I haven't really thought about it...."

Aisha nodded brightly. "Well... we both have the summer off. I probably won't need that long. Maybe you won't either. And Jason certainly won't mind...." More to herself, though Billy did catch her words, she added, "He certainly likes keeping an eye on Tommy...."

"What? I don't quite follow...." Billy asked hesitantly. Aisha's comment was a little bitter sounding, a tone he couldn't ever remember hearing from her before.

Aisha lowered her eyes and looked away. She'd said too much. Billy had enough problems to worry about without adding in the team's. She, like the other rangers, had been expressly warned not to worry Billy with team problems. _Billy is ill,_ Zordon had warned them all, _and should spend his time recovering, not worrying about the team._ Calling in Billy on the current problem had been a last ditch method... Kat, Adam, Trini and Alpha had puzzled over the console for hours . Billy had it up and running in minutes, of course. "Oh...." she said slowly, "Jason's just been... a little upset with Tommy...."

Billy's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

She gulped. _Now what do I say,_ she thought to herself. _I don't want to lie... but it's kinda touchy... Stupid stupid,_ she thought bleakly. She wasn't very good at lying anyway. "Oh... you know how they can be...."

Billy sighed. _Do I want to know?_ he asked himself. Yes, but it wasn't worth the effort to grill Aisha. She was evidently trying to dodge the issue, and he didn't feel up to prying it out of her. Besides, if it was serious, his friends wouldn't keep it from him. He knew that. They had, after all, called him in to deal with a problem, hadn't they?

Not a big problem, true. The console for some reason was always fussy. Trini never quite mastered the knack of fixing it, and he had never bothered to show Adam or Kat how to do it. He crawled back underneath the console and continued adjusting it.

Aisha stood as the other rangers teleported in. They took off their helmets tiredly. To Aisha, they all looked whipped. Beat. _It must've been a tough fight,_ she thought. She took in Tommy and Jason's scowls and had a feeling she knew why the fight had been so hard. "How was it guys?" She pointedly nodded towards Billy's legs sticking out under the console.

"Jason, you can't use the WolfZord the same way you did the Red DragonZord. You could've gotten us killed pulling that stunt!" Tommy's anger was barely under control.

"Guys...." Aisha said softly. Kat, Adam and Trini picked up on it. Rocky didn't but he was trying to calm Tommy down.

"Tommy... we're all okay and the monster's defeated." Rocky said.

"Yeah Tommy." Jason said darkly. "We're all fine... when you can manage that, let me know."

"Guys!" Aisha shouted. Billy pulled himself out from under the console. Tommy and Jason were fighting... over the team. Over what happened. He could see from the other's faces that it wasn't a new argument either. Rocky,Adam, Trini, Kat and Aisha all had the good grace to look embarrassed by it. Tommy and Jason were circling each other, not even noticing he was there.

"Jason, you have to listen to me when we're fighting! You can't just run off and take a monster on by yourself." Tommy muttered.

"Maybe if you were a better leader, I wouldn't being using the WolfZord, did you consider that, great white leader?" Jason shot back.

"Um...." Billy said, his face red. "I think... I'll head back to my place if... we're through...." He fumbled with his new communicator and teleported out before anyone could say a thing.

Back at his house, Billy suddenly felt the exhaustion crash on him like a blow. Not only had he been up and around the Command Center fixing things for hours, but he and Rocky had actually walked part way to the Juice Bar. And Tommy and Jason arguing like that....

He didn't understand that. He didn't blame any of them for his imprisonment, he'd made a point of not laying guilt trips. And, to tell the truth, every single one of the Power Rangers, with Kat the lone exception, had a certain level of blame to shoulder. He certainly didn't say that... it would be cruel. But that was the truth. Everyone had been taken in by the clone. No one had any right to blame anyone else... except Kat.

Kat, he thought as he prowled through the fridge, was surprisingly silent. He didn't quite know what to make of her. She was definitely nice... and he admitted to himself, she was pretty. Not as pretty as Kimberly... but Kimberly was off at gymnastics camp and she was Tommy's anyhow.

Another weird change... Kimberly being gone. He missed her. Oh, sure, she had called to make sure he was okay... In fact she called every few days to see how he was. But, he realized, her voice had that sympathetic guilty tinge that he heard from all the Power Rangers.

Except, he noted again, from Kat. Kat wasn't exactly cool to him but not overly friendly either. Pleasant, definitely. He figured she was just waiting for him to make the first overtures. Overtures that he looked forward to... but not just yet. He wanted to get everything straight with all of the others first.

He finally decided on a few peanut butter crackers... it was as close to junk food as his father now allowed and set them nicely on a plate. After a moment, he set a few more out. Trini would be by soon, and she liked peanut butter crackers. Into the living room he went, and curled up on the couch. Some TV, he thought as he spread out on the couch, and maybe a nap....

~*~

He crawled up and briefly felt himself over for blood. It was a precaution he learned almost too late on one occasion. In the dark, blood appeared as black, not red. The walls in the palace were always clammy and his bare skin felt damp most of the time. A little extra wetness went unnoticed. He'd cut himself badly on one occasion and not noticed the blood streaming from his leg until he'd collapsed from dizziness. He'd been lucky. The bleeding stopped... eventually. He hadn't been able to do much more than huddle in a ball for what seemed like two days but he lived. That was something he wasn't going to risk again.

No blood, he noted thankfully.He took the time to assess his over all condition. Arms and legs... bruised, covered with semi-healed cuts. Body... pretty much the same. Head... his head was aching. It was always aching. Ever since he'd been beaten to unconsciousness by a gang of monsters, his head hurt.

He shuddered remembering. He'd awakened in Finster's lab, of all places. Fortunately for him, Finster's curiosity had gotten the better of him... He didn't want to take the chance of having to depend of the mercy of one of Rita's minion's again though. He'd gotten away as soon as he could... but that didn't stop the nearly incapacitating pain. It came and went... he waited a few moments just to see if the bearable pain would stay that way and not become a blinding, nauseating migraine.

He took the time to try and get reorientated. The date and time was a lost cause. He didn't know. He'd gotten to the point where he didn't care. Just like how dirty he was... he only noticed when he really thought about it. Dirty didn't begin to describe him any way. He felt the ragged shreds of his clothes. His shirt was once plaid... blue plaid... he could just make out the pattern underneath the layer of grime and the caked on blood.

He was in the lower level of the palace, he realized. Not a frequent spot for monsters. There was a water tap located to the south. If he was quiet, he could use the tunnel he was in to get to the water tap. He could get some water. Tears suddenly welled up in his eyes.

Where are they? he thought as the unwanted tears made tracks on his dirty face. _Why haven't they come for me? I can't take much more of this...._ For a few moments, he let his emotions overwhelm him and his body shook with the force of his quiet choking sobs. He hugged his arms around his body and tried to steady himself. It was hard. Finally, a few echoing footsteps from the upper level drove away his despair, leaving behind fear, it's close companion.

He couldn't afford it. He couldn't afford the self-pity, he couldn't afford the wasted energy and worst of all, he couldn't afford the loss of concentration. He shook off the sudden emotion and shakily stood, ears straining.

Nothing. He let out the breath he'd been holding. _Some water,_ he thought slowly, _that would be good. Food would be even better... maybe I can find something to eat. No food lockers to break into or trash cans to rifle through on this level though._ He sighed. He could go down to Finster's lab... Finster was a human food junky. Candy mostly... though on rare occasions, he'd snagged an order of fries and once, memorably, an Arby's roast beef sandwich. He felt himself drooling involuntarily and cursed himself. _Don't be stupid,_ he chastised himself as he inched along the tunnel, _if you get anything to eat today, it'll be that monster stuff. Finster's lab is a last resort... I'm not that desperate today...._

~*~

"Oh... you're awake." He jumped a little at Trini's voice but covered it. Trini made him nervous. It bothered him a little. Trini was his best friend, but for some reason, he jumped every time she spoke.

"I thought you'd want something to drink with those." She added. She was a little worried. Billy looked tired. Too tired. She wondered if he'd been working too hard. "Say... I'm going to fix something for dinner.... your dad said he'd be late. Why don't you.... uh... take a break?"

"Okay...." he said softly to her retreating figure. He hadn't planned on getting up, to tell the truth. The castaways were looking for the headhunter s again, he noted as he laid back down. Somehow he doubted being a castaway was that much fun but they made him laugh. He ignored the slight blue tinge to his vision and closed his eyes. The blue tinge had happened before... when he was tired, like when he spoke with Zordon. His doctor had told him to lie down when it happened. _Well,_ he thought with a slight chuckle, _I'll just do what I'm told._

He pulled a blanket over himself and closed his eyes, smiling a little as he was lulled to sleep by the castaways' antics.

~*~

He moved away, towards a crevice he knew about. _I can get up into there,_ he considered, and head towards the trash barrels. He was too stiff from falling and from previous injuries to risk breaking into a food locker. Going through the trash was distasteful but safer. He crawled up and entered the new level.

It was quiet. He staggered along until he found a trash can. For monsters, the inhabitants of the lower tunnels of the palace were surprisingly neat. The trash was, he realized, not very helpful. It seemed... full of things he couldn't identify. Not much in the way of food. Some scraps... he ate them. Food was something he had to have. The situation was dire enough that he ate whatever was edible regardless of condition. Still, after serious sifting through, he got maybe three mouthfuls of food.

He looked down the tunnel again. Still no one. A quiet day... rare but they happened. He blinked... was that? He stepped closer to the object. It was a small box. _Rations...._ He considered a moment.

Occasionally, he knew from experience, rations were left lying around. It was rare, but it happened. More likely, waiting in the shadows was some monster. A trick, in other words. The food was bait. It was a game the monsters "played." He'd fallen for it a few times. He'd learned a few tricks himself though....

Like not grabbing the box and running. That was way too unsafe. There could be monsters all around. The second he grabbed the box, they would dive on him. He would get hurt, like the last time. And what if they broke his legs this time? No... grabbing it was out.

He listened carefully for what seemed like hours. A basic character flaw of almost all the monsters was a serious lack of patience. If there was a monster there, in hiding, it wouldn't wait very long before it got fed up and left. Or before it forgot why it was waiting.... The monsters weren't very smart. Most didn't remember who he was. He was just "that human" that they knew was there. Even Zedd and Rita seemed to have forgotten him. He knew if he waited, the monster would leave. After a certain amount of time, he could be pretty certain it was indeed, just a box of rations.

There had been no noise at all. Could he really be that lucky, he thought to himself. It was a fantasy... a whole box of rations was a week of food. He could hide down in the lower levels and... and rest. Maybe sleep. He furtively walked into the open tunnel and looked all around. Nothing. Okay.... he was gonna luck out. He grabbed the box and hugged it close. He didn't notice the sticky slime on the box until he took a few steps and collapsed. The tacky feeling on his fingers gave his slowly darkening mind the clue it needed. It was a trap... something was on the box. A drug of some kind...

~*~

He was tired though. She could see it. His eyes were almost black from exhaustion. So, instead, she turned the TV down and tiptoed out of the room. _Better let him sleep,_ she thought with a smile, he needs the rest.

~*~

Another kick to the ribs brought tears to his eyes. A foot sweep knocked his hands out from under him and in seconds he was lying prone . The only saving grace was that he was on his stomach. He still didn't know who'd found him. It didn't matter... he was in for it. He saw the crevice only a few feet. He tried to inch towards it.

"You! You damn rangers!" Scorpina snarled. "First you foil Lord Zedd's plans then that Pink Ranger somehow manages to steal the Pink Powercoin back! And now the Falconzord has disappeared!" Each phrase was punctuated by a kick. Billy moaned but kept trying, almost instinctively, to reach the crevice. He barely registered that Scorpina had mentioned the Pink Ranger. Kimberly had messed up someone's plans... good. The rest was gibberish to him. He was more concerned with his own situation. Scorpina was raining blows on him, her temper was wild.

He gave up on crawling away. Instead, he pulled his arms around his head protectively. He couldn't afford more head injuries. He prayed her temper would be vented quickly.

She grabbed him and lifted him up. He shied away... Her face was so filled with hate, he half expected her to kill him right then. Instead, she slapped his face.

"You think it's funny, don't you?" She shook him and then smacked him into the wall. He grimaced and fought the urge to cry out. He sensed it would make it worse. She balled up a hand and hit him in the eye with her fist. He wilted against the wall and tried to push her away but she hit him again, in the stomach and he could barely keep his feet, let alone fight her off.

"Don't mock me!" She grabbed him by the neck until he was standing on tiptoes. His terror increased. Normally, Scorpina viewed catching him as a source of amusement. She would beat him, of course, and then taunt him. Humiliating, but survivable. The other monsters didn't have enough wits to understand that there was a line that couldn't be crossed when it came to injuring him. Scorpina understood that her fun would be over if she lost control and permanently injured him or killed him. The other monsters didn't see the need to pull their punches. But, he noted as his terror reached a fever pitch, Scorpina was so angry... She'd lost control. It was going to be bad....

She threw him to the ground. The drug had worn off and he scrambled to reach the crevice he spotted before. She growled at his movement and swung her whip at him. Her anger raged and she rained blows on him for what seemed like forever, all the while shrieking inarticulately. Finally, her rage ebbed away, or perhaps she got simply got tired.

He tried inching away again. He couldn't go any faster... It was instinct that got him crawling and nothing else. She had beaten him nearly senseless. He put a hand down and whimpered as pain shot from his hand through his whole body. _Wrist is sprained,_ he thought dimly, _maybe broken._

Scorpina heard his crying and got up from her seat. His eyes widened and he curled up in a protective ball. He shook in fear... he simply couldn't take any more. But instead hitting him, she forced him to a kneeling position. She stood over him and jerked his head back until he was looking up at her.

"They aren't coming for you." Her words were cold and without her usual evil grin. "They've forgotten you." She waited for her words to register on the stunned boy.

"No." Billy knew he was crying but he didn't care. "They haven't forgotten... they're just...."

"They've replaced you...." Scorpina saw that she had scored a hit. "They don't even say your name. You only exist here."

"No...." His words lacked strength. His greatest fear was being brought out. On the rare occasion that he got any sleep, his dreams were haunted by the idea that he would live what was left of his life in the castle. He shuddered. "They wouldn't replace me without trying to rescue me... to save me...."

"You're dead to them." Scorpina eased her grip. "They think you died. They won't be coming, Billy. Only I know you're still here."

"They don't think I'm dead." Billy trembled. "I'm not dead."

"You are dead... to everyone but me." She considered the tearstricken kneeling boy and smiled maliciously. "You should thank me, you know." She leaned up close to him and ruffled his dirty hair with her hand. "Without me, you wouldn't exist. You'd be forgotten forever." She yanked his hair viciously and bent back his head. "Thank me!"

"No...." His face was wet with tears and hot with shame. She pulled his head back further until he felt it was going to snap. She leaned in close to his terrorized face and snarled softly.

"Say it. Say thank you."

He couldn't breathe. The pain was torture. She was bending his neck back to the point that he could feel the muscles straining. _Oh god,_ he thought frantically, _she's gonna kill me.... I don't want to die... I can't... oh god...._ His face burned in humiliation. "Thank you..." he whispered, feeling as if his whole world had crumbled. She was right, he was alive because she hadn't killed him. He tried to get control. She could still kill him, the quiet survival voice in his head told him. But, the voice wasn't as strident as usual.

She smiled and loosened her grip to allow him to return tot he kneeling posture of a supplicant. "Say thank you, Scorpina." she prompted.

"Thank you Scorpina," he said woodenly.

Scorpina chuckled. "Now say, I exist only because of you."

He did. "I exist only because of you."

"Both. Again."

The survival voice was suddenly overtaken by a new voice. _Once is enough,_ the new voice said in a low growl. _You don't want to die... fine. No one will ever judge you badly for doing what you have to survive... but saying that again is giving up. Giving up everything. How long do you think you'll live after that?_

The voice had a point. He lowered his head, knowing full what was about to happen. "No."

"What?" Scorpina's eyes narrowed. She stood over him. "What did you say?"

"No." A little louder that time. The new voice in his head was overriding the survival voice. He waited for the blow.

It came quickly. With an inarticulate shriek of rage, Scorpina savagely clubbed him down. Blow after blow rained down on him until he couldn't even feel it. He was numb to the pain. Hands reached down and shook him....

~*~

Billy gasped and felt his heart skip a beat. A wave of terror rushed through him, causing his whole body to tense. "No... go away!!" he cried, pushing her away as hard as he could.

He rolled over to get onto his feet, and fell to the floor, hitting his head on the coffee table as he went down.

"Billy!" Trini gasped, "calm down... it's just me...." She reached out to comfort him.

Billy didn't hear her. He jerked away from her touch and struggled to regain his feet. _Run!_ he thought to himself, _dammit, run! she's found you again...._ His head was swimming and everything started to go hazy. The room was spinning and lit by an eerie blue glow. Had Zordon finally found him? Was he being rescued... teleported out?

Just in case, he tried to run anyway. An aching tension seized him and he fell to the floor, moaning.

Trini's eyes went wide with horror. Billy's eyes rolled back in his head and he began shaking uncontrollably, making awful gurgling sounds. He was having some sort of seizure. She froze for a minute, dumbfounded. Billy wasn't epileptic.

Realizing she needed to act fast to prevent Billy from hurting himself further, Trini came out of her stupor and heaved the coffee table out of Billy's way. She then tipped him to his side so he could breathe easier.

She wanted to hug him, to comfort him in some way, but she knew she shouldn't touch him. Instead, she removed her light jacket and protectively threw it around Billy's shoulders, making sure it wouldn't accidently strangle him or cover his face. She dashed into the kitchen to call an ambulance.

When Trini returned, Billy had stopped shaking. He was trembling slightly and convulsively sobbing softly to himself.

"Sssssssshhhhh, sssssssshhhhhh...." she whispered, kneeling down next to him and placing a reassuring hand on his forehead, smoothing back his sweat-drenched hair. "Billy, you're going to be okay..." She wished she could believe that herself.

~*~

A wave of panic flooded through him, tightening his throat—he was in Finster's lab again... no... it was too bright. And warm. And he wasn't alone.

"Billy?" A warm hand reached out and stroked his hair.

He shuddered, yanking painfully at the restraints. "Please, Scorpina... no...." he choked, "Please leave me alone... don't touch me...." he repeatedly muttered under his breath, shutting his eyes.

Staggering backwards, Trini jerked her hand away. She could feel hot tears welling up in her eyes. Billy thought she was that... that awful she-beast. She was trying to help him, and had only succeeded in scaring him senseless.

Billy's eyes flashed open again. "Trini? Trini? Is that you?" A panicked edginess tinged his voice. "Where am I?"

Trini took a few steps towards the bed, then stopped. She didn't want to scare him again. "I'm here, Billy," she softly answered.

"Where?" Billy whimpered, straining his head to find her. "Where am I?"

Trini couldn't help it any longer—she instinctively rushed forward, ignoring Billy's sharp gasp as she came into his view. She noticed he was still rather disoriented. "Right here," she finally answered, hesitantly reaching out to touch him.

She rested her hand on Billy's head again. "You're in the ER... you had a seizure...." Billy started crying. "What happened?" she gently asked, hoping to find out what triggered the seizure—hoping to relieve the awful suspicion that it was her fault.

"Oh God, Trini... it was awful," Billy sobbed. He tugged at the restraints again. His head was throbbing. He felt like his whole body had been painfully sprung, like a watch that had been wound until it broke. The blue tinge had returned, though no where near as strong as before. Trini looked weirdly backlit by blue... blue and a reassuring yellow. He tried to relax as much as he could. "You... you can't understand...."

Trini leaned in closer. She didn't know what to do. Should she ask him for details? Press him? Just reassure him that it was over? She didn't know. "Billy, I'm your friend. You can tell me...."

"Trini...." He choked on the next few phrases, rushing to get them out. "I... I couldn't breathe.... Sh-sh-e was ch-choking me... blood... I w-w-was b-b-b-bleeding and she kept hitting me... and-d-d-...." He broke off, barely able to choke in air.

Trini knew there was more. She had known Billy her whole life and she knew something terrible had happened. She knew what to do now.. no matter that a big part of her didn't want to know. "Billy... don't stop... what happened next?"

He felt himself shaking. "I couldn't breathe... she-she was... She made m-m-m-me b-beg her... I... I had to... I didn't w-w- want to die... I'm s-s-orry...." His sobs were quiet. Almost as if he was trying desperately not to attract attention.

"Oh Billy...." Trini leaned over him and placed her arms around him. She felt her own tears returning and willed them away. _Later,_ she told herself, _later I can cry._ "Billy, you didn't do anything wrong. She would have killed you." Trini looked deeply into his eyes. "Don't ever be sorry for doing what you had to. Do you understand? Because if you hadn't done what she asked... I know I wouldn't be able to talk to you right now. Don't ever regret keeping yourself alive." She gave him an awkward hug. Slowly, his breathing returned to slow, easy breaths.

"Hello." Trini spun around and Billy jerked harshly at the sound of the new voice. It was a doctor, in a white lab coat, not in the scrubs of the ER. He smiled and ran a hand through his dark brown hair. "I'm sorry... obviously I startled both of you.... I'm Dr. Ericson."

"Okay...." Trini took that as her cue to step back. Ericson smiled at her, in that _you're not the patient so back off_ way that doctors had, and turned his attention to Billy.

"I hate seeing you back in here, Billy." Ericson said conversationally as he gave Billy a cursory examination. "Do you remember me?"

"No...." Billy said nervously. "There were a lot of doctors...."

Ericson glanced at a sheaf of papers as Billy spoke. "Well, I'm not surprised...." He checked Billy's eyes with a pen light. "Have you been having headaches lately? Maybe when you're tired?"

"Yes...." Billy admitted. He saw Trini flinch a little and the doctor frowned.

"Maybe you've not been getting enough rest?" Ericson said as he jotted down some notes. "Did you have a bad headache today? Wait, why don't you tell me what you remember...."

Billy hesitated. His headache was still there and it was getting worse. "I was taking a nap... and... and I had a really bad dream...."

"About your time in Lord Zedd's castle?" The sudden and yet offhand way Ericson asked the question made Billy's eyes narrow.

"Yes." Billy shook his head. He was too tired to fend off a psychiatrist. "And Trini woke me up and... I... I mistook her and...." He felt himself starting to tremble. "I don't remember... I woke up here.... Can you undo these?" He tugged at the heavy leather restraints.

The doctor smiled. "Not just yet... I want the results from a few tests...."

"What the hell is going on?" Ward Reeves stormed in. His tie was loosened and he had the wild eyed pasty look of someone who had just taken a bad shock. Which, Trini realized, he had. "Billy! Are you okay? What in hell happened?" Ward spun on Trini. "What did you do?"

"I...." Trini backed up.

"Dad..." Billy said softly. The weird blue tinge in his vision heightened. He clenched his hands to the hospital stretcher, trying to will the shaking to stop.

"Dammit Trini! "

"Mr. Reeves!" The doctor spun Ward around and shook him hard. "Calm down..." He pointedly glanced at Billy. "You aren't helping...."

"Dad.. its not Trini's fault...." Billy felt the shaking increase and he closed his eyes. He felt something prick his arm and opened them just in time to see the doctor withdraw a needle. "What..."

"Just a sedative Billy...."

Billy nodded. He could feel the sudden heaviness and closed his eyes again. He drifted off, picking up bits of conversation but nothing really making sense.

"no... the cat scan was clean..."

"but what..."

"... coupled with the sudden memory return... it was too much... the pressure... the head injury added to it... the MRI had that shadow..."

"... happen again?"

"... needs time... probably stress induced... ekg is okay..."

"... what stress..."

_If only you knew Dad,_ Billy thought ruefully. Then he let the drug take him away.

~*~

Rocky and Tommy nodded along, and looked uneasy. Billy had, since having the weird seizure Trini told them about, gotten awfully strange. He started remembering things that happened, Trini had said, and then started crying. Trini crying was a sign tot he rest of the Rangers. Whatever he had told her had been bad. Real bad.

Rocky didn't want to know. He felt like hell already. He didn't want to know the grim details. Just looking at Billy told him enough. Whatever Billy would say would only make him feel worse.

Tommy felt differently. The forces of darkness would pay for what had happened to Billy, Tommy knew that. He was more concerned with how Billy felt about the rangers in general and if he would ever be able to rejoin the team. In Tommy's opinion, Billy was not really getting better. Sure, physically, Billy was better. It was hard to get much worse really. Mentally, of course, was a completely different story. Tommy didn't know what was up. Billy was being... weird. It was the sort of situation that he ordinarily would have talked with Jason over... but Jason blamed him and wouldn't let it go. And Tommy refused to be held responsible for the entire situation. If Jason was so smart, he mused bitterly, why hadn't he noticed the clone? God knows they had chatted on the phone enough.

Billy pulled up a chair and sat down with them. He was tired. Sleep had lately become a lost cause. He was starting to reconsider his therapist's offer of sleeping pills. He was having nothing but nightmares, the problem made worse by a hyper father and a therapist that was into chemical therapy. His father was in and out of his room at night, making sleep difficult to begin with. His therapist wanted him to check into the psych ward for observation. And his friends... his friends were concerned. That was nice. He just wished they would talk to him instead of just sitting there.

Like right now. He sighed.

"You okay, Billy?" Adam asked. Billy looked tired. Well, Adam qualified, more tired than usual. "You look tired..."

"I haven't been sleeping well." Billy waited to see what affect his words had. Tommy glared through the window.... Jason was evidently glaring back. It was safe to say Tommy hadn't been paying attention. As usual.

Rocky cringed a little and lowered his eyes. Another normal reaction. Billy understood that one a little better. Rocky simply felt bad about what had happened. More than the other Rangers, Rocky seemed to be kicking himself hard over it. _Or,_ Billy mused, _maybe it shows more with Rocky._

"Not sleeping well. Oh." Adam sighed and mentally braced himself to hear something awful. Billy almost smiled at that. Adam was tensing up, waiting apparently for an onslaught of emotion.

"I uh, gotta go." Rocky slunk away. Billy watched sadly. He didn't know how to help Rocky. Tommy took that as a cue to walk inside. That left Adam, waiting for Billy to spill something awful.

Billy sighed again. He wanted to talk to someone. Needed to, really. Trini tried, but she got so upset, and he hated to see her cry. He doubted that she had been getting much sleep lately either. His other friends tended to avoid him. But, he suddenly realized, Adam was still there. Tense perhaps, and probably hoping that he would just say nothing, but there.

"So...." Adam wasn't quite sure what to say. "You've been able to remember stuff, Trini says..."

"Uh huh." Odd, he thought, Adam sounds curious. Well, a little curious. "Enough, anyway." He tried to smile. "At least now I know where all these scars came from." He rubbed his arm as he spoke.

"Yeah..." Adam looked at Billy's arm. Pale... but no scarring. Adam had heard stories from Trini... stories about hideous scars. Billy's arms showed no signs of such treatment. Adam really didn't want to see some obvious disfigurement but he was confused. "How'd you manage to end up with no visible scars? I mean...."

"Do you really want to know?" Billy was blunt. "Because I... I need to talk to someone about this, and if you get up halfway through because you can't handle it...." He hesitated. "It's hard enough talking about it, you now?"

Adam nodded hesitantly. With that in mind, he knew he'd sit and listen. He didn't want too, but he owed Billy that. "Okay. So... how did you end up with no visible scars?" He gestured to Billy's arm. He was rather curious about it. "It doesn't look like you got hurt at all..."

"No." Billy said thoughtfully. "I was being chased by Scorpina...."

"Scorpina?" Adam shuddered. " You never said she was there..."

"I got away... that time."

Adam noted the hesitance. _I didn't want to know that,_ he told himself. _Scorpina did something to him.... something that went beyond the stupid trick she pulled on me._ Adam could see the haunted look in Billy's eyes.

"But I fell down... well... it was like stairs. " Billy continued, not realizing the scrutinizing look Adam was giving him. "A rock or something... I cut it deeply. I was afraid I was going to bleed to death. I'm pretty sure the bone was cracked. I couldn't use my hand at all..."

"But..." Adam took a good look at the arm. "It really looks fine. What happened?"

Billy sighed. "That's where it got really strange."

~*~

For some reason, a lot of the monsters didn't like to come down here. It was very dark—darker than most areas of the palace—but, that wasn't reason enough to prevent a monster from trying to catch its favorite toy.

In fact, he had been running from the Primator, but Primator broke off his pursuit when they neared the caverns. Even Scorpina didn't dare come down here. He briefly wondered why, then pushed it from his mind—there were more important things to think about. He sighed—it would be the ideal place to hide until the Rangers could come and get him, if only there were a source of water. All the same, it was a good place to get some sleep.

And sleep was what he really needed. Billy was exhausted. His head was pounding—it felt like someone was stabbing him behind the eyes. His whole body ached. He was sure that he had been running on pure adrenaline for the past several days—he couldn't even remember the last time he had a chance to lay down. Accidently falling asleep on his feet nearly got him caught today.

Billy shifted position and winced in pain as his right arm brushed against the rock formation. He looked at his arm—it was bruised badly and bleeding again. Scorpina had caught him several days earlier, and in trying to get away, Billy had fallen down a flight of stairs and badly cut his arm on the jagged rock. He was lucky that it wasn't broken—nor any other part of him, for that matter. He pulled his arm close to his body and wrapped the lower part of his shirt around it, trying to stifle the bleeding. Billy bit his parched bottom lip to prevent from crying out, and only succeeded in drawing blood from it as well. He started to feel light headed and dizzy and fell from his alcove. He stumbled through the darkness, as if in a dream, trying to regain his hiding place.

A cool hand fell on his shoulder. Billy jumped and turned, half expecting to find Scorpina.

He threw his arms up to protect his face and yelped in pain as an intense white light assaulted his eyes. The light dimmed slightly as Billy's eyes slowly adjusted. In the center of the light was a figure he vaguely recognized...

"Mom?" he weakly stammered, blinking in disbelief and fighting back tears. "But... but, I don't understand... you're...." He couldn't say it. He started crying.

"Sssssshhhhhh," the figure responded, encircling Billy in her arms. She drew Billy close to her body, bathing him in the warm light that surrounded her.

Billy continued to sob in her embrace, even though he felt a wonderful sense of comfort as the light penetrated his chilled body down to the icy fingers and toes. Her cool hands stroked away some of the tension from the previous months.

Billy began to feel sleepy—a heavy, oppressive drowsiness was pushing down on him, clouding his mind. It was like nothing he had ever felt before; it frightened him. "Am I dead?" he murmured, fighting to stay awake. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought he heard her softly, but nervously, chuckle.

His mother stroked his hair. "No, sweetie," she whispered.

More tears welled up in his eyes. His eyes fluttered sleepily, causing a few of the tears to spill down his face. "But I'm going to die, aren't I?... Why?... Why haven't they come for me?"

Billy felt her embrace tighten around him. She didn't respond.

"Please don't let me die..." he softly sobbed.

Eventually the drowsiness overtook him and he withered in her arms.

When Billy awoke, he was lying against a massive stone formation that seemed to be a pedestal or altar of some sort. Billy put his hand against the rock—it was surprisingly warm, not cold and damp as he expected.

Billy staggered to his full height, feeling every cramped, still joint in his sore body groan and crack with the sudden shift.

The formation truly was a pedestal. On it stood a large, gleaming multi-faceted crystal, surrounded by a hazy, ethereal forcefield.

He felt strangely drawn to the crystal, as if some otherworldly force gripped him. Moving without volition, he half-consciously slipped his hand through the forcefield and dizzily set it on the crystal.

A bright snakelike energy beam shot up from the crystal, entwining Billy's arm. Expanding, slithering up to his shoulder, and tugging at his body, it drew him further inside the forcefield until the field completely enveloped him.

Another beam shot out from the crystal and penetrated his body, sending a spine-tingling surge of power flooding through him. Billy felt his body and mind expanding, filling the room he was in, as if he were floating above it and not contained within its walls. Several images flitted briefly before hie eyes—his family, his friends, a statuesque blonde girl whom he did not recognize, strange aliens, other Rangers. And all the while, the crystal loomed large in the background. He watched with detached fascination as the gash on his arm, and several other of his more serious wounds, melted away into fresh, clean skin—unbroken by any recent signs of trauma or scarring.

He blinked and was standing outside the forcefield again, his arms dangling limply at his side. Noting that his arms were truly healed, he passively staggered away from the crystal, commanded by... he did not know...

Later. It reassuringly echoed in his mind. Later. The crystal would be very important to him. Later...

~*~

"Ummm." Adam had no idea he was opening such an ugly can of worms. To him, it sounded as though Billy had just related a grade A hallucination, but he could tell Billy believed in what happened. "Um... Billy... have you told your therapist about this?" Adam hoped so... it seemed that Billy was about two steps away from a breakdown of classic proportions.

"No..." Billy sighed. It had been a mistake, he realized. Adam was not only pretty freaked out but starting to get that guilty, pitying look that most of his friends used. "My therapist doesn't want to hear stuff like that. I'm gonna go... maybe take a walk in the park." He didn't want Adam's pity....

Adam watched Billy leave, feeling guilty that he felt relieved that Billy was gone. Adam knew he'd just blown it, he wasn't sure how, but he had.