He sat at a table in the corner, staring wordlessly down at the crumpled piece of paper in his hands. It was worn, faded, and torn from its time shoved deep in the receces of his wallet, but it was intact. He always made sure it was intact. And it was times like now, when he felt honestly and truly like crap, that he would reach into his wallet, feeling around for the words of love and encouragement he knew would be there.
I'll Remember....
He closed his eyes. The words, the song was etched into his memory now- the letter itself was merely a comfort, for he could read it anytime, anyplace, directly from the place he'd stored it in his heart.
They all thought he'd gone nuts. That much he knew. They had been so shocked and confused when he'd run out of the Juice Bar that one time. The song- it had caught him by surprise. They had never seen him cry before.
He heard them making fun one day when they thought he wasn't there. Not his friends, they wouldn't make fun. It was the others- the ones who didn't want to understand. His friends had tried to talk to him, to find out what had upset him so, and he couldn't tell them. He couldn't explain. I wasn't upset, I was happy. It always makes me happy. It wouldn't make sense to them.
It didn't quite make sense to him either. What was it that caused his throat to close up and his eyes to water? Why did that warm feeling in his heart have to make him cry?
He knew what it was- that feeling. It had happened only once before, when he was young. He had been upset, and cried out a desperate prayer to whatever- whoever- was up there, in that vast sky. And someone had answered. It was a wonderful feeling- a warmth that began in his heart and spread out to the tips of his fingers and toes. Someone had hugged his heart. And it still made him cry to think of it.
And the letter. A hug on paper, he supposed. No one had ever expressed such love to him... not even his family. They loved him, of course, he knew that, but... there was something more. He supposed it was the feeling of being needed. Knowing that he had changed someone's life for the better....
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Thanks for being my friend.
"Hey Ernie?" He wiped at his eyes and did his best to keep the tremor from his voice.
"Yeah... you okay Jason?" Ernie handed him a tissue.
"Yeah... I'm okay. Thanks."
"You need anything? A soda?"
"No thanks. Ernie?"
"Yeah?" The bigger man took a seat across from him.
"You ever feel like... like nothing you do matters? Like no matter what you do, someone else has done it better?"
Ernie looked even more concerned now, but he answered slowly. "Sometimes... we all do, Jason, but... you gotta remember... you touch people in little ways."
"I know." He nodded, clutching the letter close to his heart. "I just... I want you to know how much I... how much we all appreciate you, Ernie. You're always around, you know? And you've always got a smile and a free drink for anyone who needs it.... You're just the best, Ernie, and I thought you oughta know."
Ernie didn't answer. There was nothing to say.
Jaosn stood and turned to go. But there was one last thing. He knelt down and wrapped his arms around Ernie in a hug. "Thanks for being my friend."
Then, he did leave, but not before he heard Ernie's tearful whisper.... "You're welcome."
