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Inside the steel haven, a small robot by the name of Alpha 5 was scurrying about, twisting knobs and viewing moniters. Nearby hovered the face of the evanescent being Zordon in a tube of swirling colors. He watched silently as Alpha went about his morning tasks until finally he spoke.
ALPHA, SYSTEM REPORT PLEASE, Zordon said in a voice that he hadn't meant to sound so loud.
Alpha started at the sound of his call and then whirled around to face his master. "All units are functional and everything is onli—yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi..."
ALPHA, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM? Zordon asked as the peculiar new noise persisted.
"yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi..." was the only response that the robot gave him.
Zordon appeared deep in thought for a minute when suddenly a look of knowing crept over his face. YOUR CIRCUITS HAVE STUCK AGAIN, HAVEN'T THEY, he asked as small ribbons of smoke began curling out of where Alpha's ears would be if he had any to speak of. I THOUGHT SO, Zordon said as a series of buttons began to press by themselves on a panel below him. In a moment, the room had filled with the hissing sound of static.
For a moment, there was nothing but then Tommy's voice broke through. "I read you Zordon." he said.
TOMMY, TELEPORT TO THE COMMAND CENTER AT ONCE. I AM EXPERIENCING A PROBLEM WITH ALPHA.
There was a sigh on Tommy's end of the connection. "But Zordon, I don't know anything about machines." he protested.
ALTHOUGH I WOULD NORMALLY TURN TO BILLY ON SUCH MATTERS FIRST TOMMY, WHAT I ASK IS VERY SIMPLE.
"What do I have to do?" Tommy asked.
I WILL INFORM YOU OF YOUR TASK WHEN YOU ARRIVE, Zordon said flatly.
"Well, okay then. This is Tommy over and out." he said as the connection was terminated.
DON'T WORRY ALPHA, HELP IS ON THE WAY, Zordon said, trying to console his friend.
"yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiy...."
Tommy arrived shortly afterward in a flash of bright light. He listened for a moment to the peculiar sound until he became quite annoyed. "What's wrong with him, Zordon?" Tommy asked as he clapped one hand over the ear closest to the racket.
HIS CURCUITS HAVE STUCK AGAIN, Zordon informed Tommy. I NEED YOU TO JOSTLE THEM BACK INTO MOTION.
"Uhh, okay lets see here..." Tommy muttered as he opened a hatch on Alpha's back and began fiddling with various wires and buttons.
NO TOMMY, NOTHING LIKE THAT, Zordon scolded.
"Well then what do you want me to do?" Tommy asked in a frustrated voice.
I NEED YOU TO HIT HIM, Zordon said quietly.
Tommy almost fell over. "Hit him?!?" Tommy exclaimed.
I BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT I SAID TOMMY. ITS THE ONLY WAY.
Tommy looked down at Alpha who was still making the odd noise and cradling his head in his hands. Although he would never admit it to anyone, he was really going to enjoy his task. Tommy swung his arm back and hit Alpha as hard as he could straight in the chest. The robot stumbled backward and fell to the floor with a groan.
"Alpha! Are you all right?" Tommy asked and helped him up.
"Oh my aching batteries!" Alpha exclaimed as he slowly got to his feet. "Yes Tommy I think that I'll be just fi—yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiy iyyiyiyiyiyiyi..."
"Whoa! That didn't work?" Tommy asked Zordon.
EVIDENTLY NOT. PLEASE TRY AGAIN TOMMY, Zordon said, watching the both of them intently.
"Sorry Zordon, but I need to get back to gym class before the teacher misses me."
TOMMY, I IMPLORE YOU TO STAY, Zordon pleaded, but Tommy had already teleported out of the command center. Zordon heaved a sigh that vibrated the walls. It occurred to him that he could always teleport Tommy back to the command center and hold him there until he fixed the problem but then decided against it. MUST I DO EVERYTHING MYSELF, he said in an exasperated voice.
In a whirlwind of bright color, Zordon's tube broke and he lunged out of the confines of it. He was not at all what anyone would have expected to see, and rivaled Bulk and Skull in appearance. His greasy blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail, on his chin was an unkept goatee, and he was wearing tight jeans and a shirt with a blazing skull on the front. He could just imagine what the rangers would say if they were there.
"Zordon! You're——-A PUNK!"
Indeed, the indimensional tube had blurred his face considerably and so they saw nothing except the intelligent mind behind the appearance.
Now he raised an aluminum bat that he happened to conviently be carrying with him and and bludgeoned Alpha with it. The little robot had time to utter one last strangled "yiyiyi" before all that was left of him was a pile of sparking remains. Zordon's breathing became short but never the less he was grinning through a mouthful of crooked and yellowed teeth.
"Oh I'll die pretty soon, but DAMMIT it was worth it!" he cried as everything about him dissolved into a milky haze. Zordon suddenly felt very warm and weightless as he flew down a bright passage and stopped in front of a large gate that was studded with pearls. "Where am I?" he asked the thin air.
"Zordon, welcome to paradise." came the voice of a kindly old man. There to greet him at the gate was St. Peter himself. "You have done much for the good of humanity in your life. Please go right inside." He urged as the gates yawned open.
Zordon crossed over into the heavens with a broad smile on his face. _So this is the afterlife,_ he thought to himself. _No more Zedd, no more sirens blaring, and no more..._ "ALPHA!!!" he cried as he saw the object of his loathing waiting for him on the other side of the gates.
The robot ran toward him with his arms stretched out for a hug. "Zordon! Hi—yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyyi..." he exclaimed.
Zordon backed away from the approaching annoyance until he had stumbled back through the pearly gates.
"What—what is the meaning of this, Zordon?" St. Peter huffed. "Why wouldn't you want a rest from your hectic life?"
Without an answer, Zordon quickly grabbed for the old man's large book of records. Taking it in both hands, he swung it over his head and clobbered Alpha with it. With a meaty whap and the fluttering of a few white feathers from the crushed wings, Alpha had come to an end yet again.
St. Peter was red in the face and his eyes were as big as dinner plates as he made his next statement. "Foolish mortal! Trix are for kids!—-er no, I mean, now you must be expelled from the heavens and sent to the lands below!"
With that, Zordon was whisked from the haven and sent reeling through space. Suddenly he came to a jolting stop and looked about himself in bewilderment. This new land was engulfed in flames, and was serenaded by the sound of tormented screams but no Ay yi yi's much to his relief.
Zordon settled onto a large flat rock and stretched out his back on its scalding surface. It was a little uncomfortable but at least he could now get some much needed rest. He let his eyes slip closed, lulled by the sound of boiling lava nearby. What he failed to see were the legions of Alpha 5 units that were parading over the horizon in a solid wave with one mission and one mission only, to torment the new prisoner. Quickly they all set their functions to "stutter".
"Ayyiyiyyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi...."