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Starts with all the rangers fighting a monster.
Toilet Monster: (Waving arms to show he's angry.) I'll flush
you Ranger brats down!
Tommy: No you won't, lid head! Ziaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (Smacks the monster
in the head causing it to flush itself down to oblivion!)
Mondo: (in the Skybase) Dang'ett!
At the Juice Bar....
Tommy: All right my team! We are Number one again! And it's
all thanks to me . . . again!
Billy: (Whispers to himself.) Easy for you to say.
Kat: Haven't you noticed that lately these monsters are getting easier
and easier?
Billy: Yeah! And I know why!
Tanya: Haven't you noticed that we have haven't even got to call a monster
nasty names in over a month?
Billy: Yeah! And I know why!
Rocky: And that Tommy has been killing the monsters solely without letting
us all morph?
Billy: Yeah! And I... know... why!
Tanya: Yeah! Before, Tommy couldn't even hold off a cog!
Billy: Is anyone listening to me?
Kat: I think we should go on strike! This is too humiliating! If this
continues, the Power Rangers will be the *shudder*... TOMMY RANGER!
Everyone in Juice Bar turns around from what they were doing and gasps, then they turn back again like nothing had happened.
Billy: God help us! (Faints and falls to the ground.)
Kat: Give this boy some air!
Billy: (Suddenly sits up.)How bout a smoke?
Kat: Not in the middle of a story! (pushes him down again)
Later....
Tanya: He's coming to!
Billy: Oh! My head! I'm fine now, but never mention that awful word again!
Mischievous Boy in the Background: You mean...Tommy Ranger?!
Billy faints again.
Yet again later....
Kat: Thank God you're back!
Tanya: So what do you think we should do about this?
Billy: I think I know how he's doing it! But I need to do some research...
At the Power Chamber....
Tommy: (Reading the "Rules for being a Power Ranger.") Rule #1: "Never
use your powers for selfish reasons." Yeah right! (Crosses out the word "Never.")
Rule #2: "Never enter a fight unless an enemy forces your hand." Ha! Where does
Zordon come up with these stupid things? Rule #3: "Always keep you identity
secret." If it weren't for THIS law, I'd be picking up tons of girls that all
look like Kimberly! (Crosses out rule 3.)
Billy: (Teleports in.) Well hello, Tommy! What are you doing around here,
AND WITH THAT SACRED TABLET OF LAWS???!
Tommy: (Drops Tablet.) YIKES! Uh, hi, err, Billy! Just leaving! (Quickly
teleports away.)
Billy: I know something's awfully funny about him! (Turns to Alpha) Alpha!
Alpha: Yes, Bill-ee?
Billy: I know that you know what Tommy knows about how he's defeating
the monsters so easily!
Alpha: (Suddenly tense.) Ai-yi-yi, Bill-ee! I know nothing! (Right hand
falls off accompanied by an alarm!)
Billy: Ah, ha! Alpha you can't fool me! I programed your right hand to
blow off when ever you're desperately lying!
Alpha: (Grabbing hand and holding it in place.) My hand? Bill-ee! You
are wrong! See my hand is perfectly operational! (Wiggles hand with other hand,
which falls off as well.)
Billy: Now you are double lying! Do any more, and your head will fall
off and you will be no more!
Alpha: Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi! All Right Billy! You win! (Oil begins to come
out of his head!) Tommy sold some nude pictures of you to me at the cost that
I make him the most powerful Ranger!
Billy: (Billy's mouth drops open.) HOW DID HE GET THOSE! Listen, FILTHY
ROBOT, those were from my X-Rated version of "Graduation Blues!" It's not what
you think! Any way! You will fix this outrage or I will make you an evil counterpart
named . . .STEVE URKEL!
Alpha: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! All right,
Bill-ee! You win! He will get his ponytail kicked in the next fight!
Billy: Good, and . . .Give me those pictures!
Alpha: Oh, man!
At the next fight....
Tommy: ZIAAAAAAAA! It's time to kick butt!
All rangers snicker.
Kat: The first kick he makes will be his last!
Tommy kicks the monster and breaks his leg!
Tommy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT! WHY DID THAT HAPPEN! (Lays on the
ground wailing.)
Tanya: OK! That's our cue! Lets kick some Monster butt!
All blow on monster who dies without even getting a death cry.
Rocky: YEAAAAAAAAAA! I finally got to kill one!
Kat: Shut up!
At the Power Chamber the Rangers teleport in and see Billy sitting scandalously on the computers, blowing smoke rings in the air from his cigarette. When he sees them he starts to cough and throws the still-lighted cigarette behind him.
Billy: (In a high, squeaky voice) Hi Guys! How did it go?
Kat: Great! He's history!
Tommy: PLEASE HELP ME! Wait a minute! How did you guys find out?
All look at Alpha and smile mischeiviously. Alpha gulps.
Tommy: YOU SAID I COULD TRUST YOU! WE HAD A DEAL! (Starts to
chase, or rather limp after Alpha who wobbles until he trips.)
Billy: Now to choose a new leader! I choose—
Rocky: OOO! OOO! Choose me!
All look at Rocky in disgust.
Rocky: What? Wouldn't I make a good leader?
All shake heads vigorously.
Rocky: Some friends you are! (Starts cry all over.)
Billy: (Ignoring the wailing.) As I was about to say, before I was so
rudely interrupted, I choose me!
Kat: Let me think about it... OK! (Thinks to herself: *Maybe this leader
with notice me when I wear tight shirts!*)