Humor

 

Weird News

Judge J.R. Musslewhite was reprimanded for fondling female prosecutors and drinking the evidence in a drunk driving trial.

New York City P.S. 100 principal Stuart Possner was charged with stealing $76,000 in school funds, partially obtained from forcing students to watch wrestling movies for a $2 fee and keeping the money.

Lonnie Davidson, 40, was arrested in Twin Falls, Idaho, for posing in a carpet store window like a mannequin, naked from the waist down.

Diane Childs of Elgin, Illinois, was charged with marijuana possession after her 8-year-old daughter called 911 and turned her in.

Tampa, Florida's University Community Hospital, which in the past month has faced lawsuits for amputating one patient's good leg and killing another after accidentally removing his ventilator, now faces a third suit for removing a patient's healthy ovary, leaving behind her diseased one.

Ohio investigators exhumed the body of Stanley Karey, who was shot in the chest and run over by a bulldozer, to determine whether coroner Joseph Sudimack Jr. erred in declaring Karey's death a suicide.

For Lauderdale police said that two boys, 14 and 15, who were lacking bus fare when they left a hearing on charges that they had stolen twenty-five cars, stole a twenty-sixth to return home.

Michael Towne, a Denny's restaurant cook in Lebanon, New Hampshire, was charged with assaulting two Vermont state troopers after liberally applying Tabasco sauce to their order of eggs.

Audrey Ausgotharp, a Jewish mother who allowed her children to visit the Cornerstone Baptist Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado, was told by the church that it had "accidentally" baptized her 7-year old son Wayne during Sunday school.

A state medical board in Wilmington, North Carolina, ruled that neuro-surgeon Raymond Sattler, investigated for leaving a patient's head cut open while he broke for lunch, may practice again provided he continues undergoing psychiatric and medical evaluations.

David Duke of Logan, Utah, was given eighteen months probation for calling in a bomb threat to Ohio State University on a day he didn't feel like taking a test.

Eight-year-old Marisa Means of Milford, Ohio, accompanied her father, Bill, to his engineering job on Take Our Daughters to Work Day and saw him get fired.

Charles Staggs sued the Davenport Medical Center in Davenport, Iowa, for leaving a 14-by-14 inch sponge in his abdomen during a gall bladder operation. The medical center maintains he swallowed it.

The city of Los Angeles announced a $4 million revamping of its jury system that included the issuing of mandatory thank-you notes to jurors.

Police in Queens, New York, arrested Majid Alajani after discovering that a search for his allegedly kidnapped son was merely a ploy to quickly locate his car, which had been stolen.

Upholding an absolutist prohibition on bringing weapons to school, administrators of the Agnes Little School in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, suspended a 6-year-old kindergarten student for carrying a knife, which he brought to cut cookies.

Manhattan Federal Judge John Keenan overturned the conviction of alleged drug trafficker Dale Tippins, ruling that Tippins's Sixth Amendment right to effective legal counsel was violated when his attorney fell asleep for significant portions of the trial.

Ohio liquor control agents received complaints about three male strippers, including a 75-year old, who made physical contact with patrons, simulated sex acts and exposed bare buttocks while dancing for a Women's Auxiliary of the Veterans of Foreign Wars.

The Ku Klux Klan won the right to participate in Ohio's Adopt-a-Highway litter clean-up program.

Austin, Texas, police officials tried to give away 1,000 pairs of used brown polyester sheriffs' pants and 500 matching polyester shirts after failing to find anyone willing to pay for them.

A month after clarifying to parishioners that tithing is not God's command, but merely voluntary, the Pasadena-based Church of God suffered a 30 percent drop in income, causing the worst financial crisis in the church's history.

Late for school, a 7-year-old boy from Colebrook, New Hampshire, abandoned his bicycle and stole a Ford Escort.

A San Francisco radio station offered a case of Snapple to the family of the one-thousandth person to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Jim Harnsberger, who has been married five times, owes $18,000 in child support and has been accused of threatening an ex-wife and former girlfriend, is the leader of a San Diego, California, family values group.

Connecticut Judge Socrates Mihalakos has ruled that Nancy Sekor, a middle-school teacher fired for incompetence in 1993, must be re-instated because she was judged incompetent in only two of the three subjects she taught.

Thirty-five percent of Americans surveyed in a recent poll said they would support printing advertisements on dollar bills if it meant lower taxes.