The Story of Jack Schitt

How many times has someone said to you, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, here's the entire story...

Jack Schitt is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt. O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran the Kneedeep Inn-Schitt. Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt, and together they had six children.
Holy Schitt, their first child, passed on shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt and then two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt. Their final child, another son, named Bull Schitt.
In the meantime, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens Brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Horace Schitt. Bull Schitt just married a spicy number, Pisa Schitt and they are expecting the arrival of Baby Schitt.
So, now you know Jack Schitt and his family, in case someone asks.