New Versions for State Mottos

Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi.

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat.

Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing.

California: As Seen on TV.

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character.

Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in Our Water.

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids.

Georgia: We Put the 'Fun' in Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money).

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well, Okay, Maybe Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good.

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce The 'S'.

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free.

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things with Corn.

Kansas: First of the Rectangle States.

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names.

Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk, Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign!

Maine: Cold, But Damp.

Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware.

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets).

Michigan: First Line of Defense from the Canadians.

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000 Mosquitoes.

Mississippi: Come Feel Better about Your Own State.

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Taxes At Work.

Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else.

Nebraska: Ask about Our State Motto Contest.

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone.

New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets.

New York: "You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...."

North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable.

North Dakota: We Really Are One of the 50 States!

Ohio: You'll Smell the Cows.

Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing.

Oregon: Spotted Owl ... It's What's for Dinner.
(OR Oregon: Look for the Rain Cloud ... We're Right Below It.)

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal.

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY an Island.

South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender.

South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.

Tennessee: The Educashun State.

Texas: Largest State in the Nation, Until Alaska.

Utah: Our Jesus is Better than Your Jesus.

Vermont: Yep.

Virginia: Who Says Government Officials and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State.

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
(yes, I know it's not really a state, but it's close enough)

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family - Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese.