Language

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

SO....

TRY SAYING
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF
When the f**k do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING
I'm certain that is not feasible.
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No f**king way!

TRY SAYING
Really?
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You've got to be sh**ting me.

TRY SAYING
Perhaps you should check with...
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Tell someone who gives a sh**.

TRY SAYING
Of course I'm concerned.
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Ask me if I give a sh**.

TRY SAYING
I wasn't involved in the project.
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It's not my f**king problem.

TRY SAYING
That's interesting.
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What the f**k?!?!

TRY SAYING
I'm not sure I can implement this.
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f**k it, it won't work.

TRY SAYING
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING
Are you sure this is a problem?
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Who the f**k cares?

TRY SAYING
He's not familiar with the problem.
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He's got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING
Excuse me sir?
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Eat sh** and die motherf**ker.

TRY SAYING
So you weren't happy with it?
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Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING
I'm a bit overloaded at this moment.
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f**k it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING
I don't think you understand.
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Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING
I love a challenge.
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This job sucks.

TRY SAYING
You want me to take care of that?
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Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING
I see.
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Blow me.

TRY SAYING
Yes, we really should discuss it.
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Another f**king meeting!

TRY SAYING
I don't think this will be a problem.
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I really don't give a sh**.

TRY SAYING
He's somewhat insensitive.
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He's a f**king prick.

TRY SAYING
She's an aggressive go getter.
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She's a ball busting bitch.

TRY SAYING
I think you could use more training.
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You don't know what the f**k you're doing.