Measuring the Cold

+60 - Californians put on sweaters.
+50 - Miami residents turn on the heat.
+45 - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
+40 - You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesoootans go swimming.
+35 - Italian cars don`t start.
+32 - Water freezes.
+30 - You plan your vacation in Australia.
+25 - Ohio water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesoootans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.
+20 - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation further south.
+15 - French cars don`t start. Cat insists on sleeping with you.
+10 - You need jumper cables to get the car going.
+ 5 - American cars don`t start.
0 - Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 - German cars don`t start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesoootans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don`t start.
-25 - Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 - You plan a two week hot bath. Swedish cars don`t start.
-40 - Californians disappear. Minnesoootans button top button. Canadians put on sweater. Your car helps you plan your trip south.
-50 - Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 - Hell freezes over. Polar bears move south. Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90 - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100 -Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning.