Children's Books You Will Never See

1. You Were an Accident
2. Strangers Have the Best Candy
3. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
4. Some Kittens Can Fly!
5. How to Dress Sexy for Grownups
6. Getting More Chocolate on Your Face
7. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
8. Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
9. The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer ... Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!
10. All Dogs Go to Hell
11. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
12. What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
13. Bi-Curious George
14. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
15. You Are Different and That's Bad
16. Bob the Germ's Wonderous Journey Into and Back Out of Your Digestive System
17. The Little Engine That Could Becomes Intoxicated and Kills Civillians
18. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer's Games of Revenge
19. Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures
20. Dick, Jane, and Spot Wander into The 'Hood'
21. Clifford the Big Red Dog Accidently Eats his Masters and is Put to Sleep
22. Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose
23. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad
24. The Tickling Babysitter
25. A Pictoral History of Circus Geek Suicides
26. Charles Manson Bedtime Stories
27. Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle
28. Babar Meets the Taxedermist and Becomes a Piano
29. Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear
30. David Duke's World of Imagination
31. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
32. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
33. Legends of Scab Football
34. Teddy: the Elf with the Detached Retina
35. Tommy Tune: Boy Choreographer
36. Joe Garagiola Retells Favorite Fairy Tales But Can't Remember the Endings to All of them
37. Ed Beckley's Start a Real-Estate Empire With The Change From Your Mom's Purse
38. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
39. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
40. Let's Draw Betty and Veronica Without Their Clothes On
41. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead