This Should Brighten Up Your Day....

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.

Q: How do you get holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam".

Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.

Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.

Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
A: National Dyslexics Association.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick.

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.

Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.

Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.

Q: What is a zebra?
A: 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka.
Q: And what kind of lettuce?
A: Iceberg.

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.

Q: Where do you find a no legged dog?
A: Right where you left him.

Q: Where do you get virgin wool from?
A: Ugly sheep.

Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They're trying to get away from the noise.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.