Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear One Guy Say to Another Guy

1. Does my butt look fat in this?
2. I'm tired of beer. What say you to a nice, fruity Chablis?
3. I can't stop fantasizing about Dr. Ruth!
4. Yours is bigger than mine.
5. I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.
6. There's nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then suffers miserably.
7. Want all my tools? I just realized I never do anything useful with them!
8. You know what always makes me cry? Those long-distance commericals.
9. I'm deeply offended by young women who go braless.
10. Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all that's the important thing.