Open with a silhouette of a man holding his hands in front of him. The background contains wavy lines and flying clocks. This is all in black and white

Voice of Troy McClure: What you're about to witness will do no less then boggle and entertain the very inner components of your mind.

Lights come on and you see Troy in a black suite similar to Rob Sirrling's. He smiles and the background continues in the same pattern of flying objects as it has been. The scene now turns to color.

Troy: (smiling) Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV crossovers as The Jetsons meet the Odd Couple and Dr Suess vs. Barney: the Ultimate Children's Icon Match.

The screen fizzles out as Troy walks off into the backstage area.

Troy: Throughout all of television history, many television series and families have crazy and wacky occurrences in their life when other people from other shows start to take over their 30 minutes of fame. Tonight's episode will be no different except this is The Simpsons and everything's crazy.

He sits down in a director's chair labeled "Matt Groening". A small table next to him has a steaming hot cup of coffee.

Troy: If you recall in a past episode, Marge was reliving traumatic experiences in her life. One was about that lovable music group The Monkees and how they weren't real. And sure enough, they weren't. (Pause) But what would happen if the Monkees happened to appear right in Marge's living room? What kind of pandemonium would occur? Will Marge have to face her past again? Will Bart and Lisa get a taste of the old music they're mother grew up to? Or will it all end the same way with Homer screwing up the whole climax? All these questions will be answered on <echoing> The Simpsons. (He takes the coffee and drinks. He makes a slight face of discussed then spits the coffee out over his shoulder. He then yells of to the side) Hey, I asked for Cinnamon not Vanilla.

Marge is sitting on the couch watching TV. When Bart, Lisa and Maggie enter. "The Monkees" theme song is silently being played in the background.

Bart: Mom, when's chow time? Homer's getting restless. (Seeing the TV) Hey, what kind of crap are you watching?

Marge: <groan> This isn't crap Bart. This is The Monkees.

Lisa: Oh I love monkeys. (Hops on the couch. She then sees what's really on the TV.) Wait a minute. Mom, these are people. I don't see any monkeys.

Marge: No Monkees. M-O-N-K-E-E-S. This used to be my favorite TV show when I was a little girl.

Bart: So this takes place in the 30's?

Marge: Bart! No, the 60's.

Homer enters the room from the kitchen holding Maggie.

Homer: (whining) Marge, we're out of beer again. Can you go out and pick some up?

Marge: No Homer; your a big-boy now. Besides, I'm trying to watch the Monkees.

Homer: The Monkees? Why would you watch that? They're just a bunch of big fakes who happened to sell more records than the Beatles and the Rolling Stones combined. They were never real; they're just television actors.

Marge: (stands up yelling) NO THEY'RE NOT HOMER!

Homer: Sure Marge whatever you say. Come on kids. Leave your mom to watch her Monkees. I'll make us some dinner. It'll be fun.

Bart and Lisa start pulling on Marge's hands. Maggie reaches away from Homer.

Bart: No Mom. Don't let Homer make dinner again.

Lisa: We still haven't gotten that stain off the floor that's been growing from when he spilt that stew he made.

Marge: <groan> Oh, just go with your father. I'll be there in a minute.

Homer walks out still holding Maggie followed by Lisa sulking.

Bart: Mom, you got to get with the times. Not with the oldies junk, I mean, even Dad got closer. At least he's still in the same century.

Marge: Bart, if you don't mind I'm trying to watch my show. (Smiling) Oh look <giggle> Davy fell in love again <giggle>.

Bart sighs and leaves. Marge sits down again and turns back to watching the TV.

Marge: Sometimes I wish the real Monkees would come and prove them wrong. Not that I've ever thought of that before now--but it would still serve them right.

Just then, the wiring in the back of the TV starts to spark a little <as Simpson wiring does>. Suddenly, the picture starts to fuzz. All of a sudden, a leg starts being sucked out of the television screen then Mike, gets fully sucked out and thrown against the back wall landing upside-down in the couch. Marge gets startled. She sees Mike, then screams and stands back. Peter gets thrown across the room next and lands on Mike as he is getting up.

Peter: What the...

Suddenly, Davy gets thrown across hitting Peter in mid sentence.

Davy: What the...

Peter: That's what I was trying to say.

Mike: (pointing towards the TV) DUCK!

Suddenly, Micky gets thrown across full force landing on the top of the pile. Marge stands back watching. The rest of the family runs in to see what had just happened, Homer holding Maggie.

Micky: What the...

Davy: I just said that.

Mike: Where are we? (The four start to untangle off the couch.

Marge: Your---Your---your the Monk---Monk---Monkees.

Micky: (still struggling to get to his feet) Yes Madame we are.

Lisa: Wow, the Monkees?

Bart: Not to be rude but shouldn't you guys be in your 50's?

Marge: Bart!

Mike: What do you mean? It's only 1967. And how did you know who we are? Who are you? And where's my hat?

Just then, a green wool hat shots across the room flying into Homers mouth. He starts making muffled screams. Marge yanks it out of his mouth. Homer spits out the fuzz from his mouth. Marge hands Mike the hat.

Mike: Thanks Miss... Um...

Marge: Oh, I'm Marge Simpson. And this is my husband Homer and my kids Bart Lisa and Maggie.

Peter: Oh look, the baby's sucking a pacifier.

Davy: Yeah that's nice.

Davy: Hey, 'ow did we get here anyway?

Lisa: Oh my God. You guys were sucked out of our TV set.

Marge: Oh dear.

Marge then looks over at the TV and sees that the Monkees on TV are gone from the screen and only the fuzzy pattern remains.

Marge: Homer, I thought I asked you to fix the TV.

Homer: But Marge, I did. Remember the scotch tape and toothpicks?

Marge: Oh, it seems my husband forgot to fix the television set again. (She glares at Homer.)

The Monkees: So what else is new?

Marge: But you're welcome to stay here until he fixes it.

Micky: Thank you Mrs. Simpson.

Marge: Oh please. Call me Marge.

Micky: OK. Thanks Marge.

Mike: You sure there ain't no trouble?

Marge: No it's the least I could do you being sucked into my house and all. I mean I love you guys

Homer: But Marge, I thought you loved me.

Marge: I do Homie. I love them differently

Homer: Oh

Bart: So you guys come from the Hippie years?

Peter: What do you mean? It still is....

Mike: ...isn't it?

Lisa: Nope. When you guys popped out of the TV you hopped in 1999.

Monkees: (out of unison) Oh I see, makes sense, OK... (In unison; shocked) 1999?!?!?

Marge: Why don't you guys sit down on the couch and... um...well relax

The Monkees sit down as the Simpsons go into the kitchen.

Lisa: WOW. Four big name musicians from the past sucked into our house.

Homer: Fake musicians, Hunny.

Marge: Homer!

Lisa: Hey Mom, where are these people going to stay? I mean we can't just send them to a hotel. People will attack them.

Marge, Homer, Lisa, and Maggie all look toward Bart.

Bart: No way man. They aren't taking my room.

Bart is seen angrily sitting on his bed as the Monkees look around in his room.

Peter: You have a groovy-looking room here Bart.

Bart: Thanks, but no one uses the word groovy anymore.

Micky: Then what do they use?

Bart: Cool. Phat. Y'know, things like that.

The guys look at each other confused.

Davy: Since when was "fat" considered a groovy thing to call someone?

Mike: Maybe Nixon did it.

Micky: Or Mr. Babbit became president sometime between then and now.

Bart: Oh never-mind. <Light bulb> Hey would you guys like to come to my school for show-and-tell.

Davy: Us go out in public? You must be joking.

Bart: Yeah...I mean no I'm not. Don't worry. Nobody will chase you.

Mike: Okay then you got yourselves a deal.

Peter: (whispering to Micky) Why would people chase us?

Micky: (whispering to Peter) I don't know. Maybe because girls would be attracted to Davy still.

On the school bus, Bart sits down next to Martin.

Martin: Salutations Bart. What did you bring for show and tell? I have this graphing calculator that does all sorts of difficult math equations and can also graph numbers.

Bart: Hey does it have any games?

Martin: It can hold them. Of course my favorite is Quantum Physics 2000.

Bart: I see. Well, I brought in the Monkees (points to Monkees that are in the seat next to them).

Monkees: Hello! (Waves to Martin)

Martin: The the...the--

Bart: Yep the Monkees.

Martin: Oh Joy of Joys. I use to love your interesting antics on the late night television circuit.

Mike: On television on late night? We have a television show?

Bart: (to Monkees) Ah, you might want to ignore Martin. He's a little out of it most of the time. (The Monkees nod their heads.)

Arrive at school. In the classroom...

Miss Krabaple: Bart, it's your turn. What did you bring for Show-and-Tell? I hope it's not that water gun with secret sauce. The lunch lady still can't get her net off her head.

In the Cafe, Lunch-lady Doris is mixing something in a pot with her hair net covering her face. Some nameless person walks up to her.

Person: (pointing to Lunch-lady Doris) Y'know you--

Lunch-lady Doris: (interrupting) Get bent.

Back in the Classroom...

Bart: (in front of the room) Last night these guys came to my living room through my TV set. They were a popular musical group and TV show from the 60's. I would like you to meet the Monkees.

Monkees enter casually walking to the center of the room.

Monkees: (in unison) Hello.

Miss Krabaple: (jaw drops) You guys are the Monkees. (The kids in the classroom are a little confused. Miss Krabaple starts cornering them by the door with a paper and pen.) Could I have you're guys' autograph? I've loved you guys since before I found out I couldn't get a man if my life depended on it.

The Monkees start backing up and they run out of the room screaming. This has got all the teachers wondering what is happening. They come out of the room and notice the Monkees and start chasing them. Principal Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers stand watching.

Chalmers: SKINNER! What is going on? Why are the teachers running after those men?

Skinner: Well sir... I--

A Teacher: Monkees!! (She runs off.)

Chalmers: Monkeys? Skinner, why are your teachers chasing franticly after monkeys in your school, down your hall, during class time?

Skinner: I think they meant the Monkees, a very popular television series in the 1960's.

Chalmers: The Monkees. Good Lord. I loved them when I was a kid.

Starts running with the teachers. Skinner soon follows.

Chalmers: (calling out) Oh Davy, can I get your autograph?

Peter: I thought Bart said we wouldn't get chased.

Micky: Peter there is no time to think about that. Just run.

Back in the classroom...

Martin: Well, it seems Mrs. Krabaple isn't going to come back any time soon. So I guess it's up to me to teach the class.

The children groan

Bart: No Martin. This was all a plot to get the teachers to run out of the school. Now that the teachers are out of the way, we have a free school day.

Milhouse: DAY OFF!

Bart: My thoughts exactly.

The kids get up and run screaming out of the classroom. Martin is left sitting in his desk.

Martin: Well, I'd better get cracking on Quantum Physics 2000. I have to beat level 8 to get to the lightning round. (He pulls out his calculator and begins to "play")

Back at the Simpson House, Marge is busy waxing the banister when the Monkees barge in running and slam the door behind them. Marge turns around.

Davy: (catching breath) We...We...were... chased...by... crazed...Elementary... School... teachers.

Mike: (catching breath) And... that... guy...who... kept...asking... for...Davy's... autograph.

Marge: <groan> I knew I shouldn't have let you go with Bart to Show-and-Tell. Come on, I'll hide you guys in the basement.

The four follow Marge.

The News...

Kent Brockman: Monkee Fever has plagued Springfield when a little boy brought the four band members to his school for Show-and-Tell. (Showing a view of the Simpson house with a bunch of women in front holding banners and cheering) A flock of women between the age of 40 and 55 have swarmed outside this Springfield home where it is believed the four are hiding out. (Back to the Newsroom) It has always been this reporter's feeling that nothing good came from the Monkees and from this scene, (pause) I was proven wrong. Traffic has been lessened, groceries stock has been kept at a high, and paint and banner supplies have been selling out. Plus, the Monkee Memorabilia Store, closed for lack of profit since 1969, has reopened with profits going through the roof. This is Kent Brockman taking the last train to Clarksville. Good Night (the TV is turned off)

Marge and Homer are sitting on the couch. Marge puts down the remote from turning off the TV

Marge: I can't believe this is happening. We've got to figure out a way to put them back on the TV.

Homer: But Hunny, if we keep them here, we could start a whole enterprise. Think about it; we could charge admission for people to see them. We'll tie them up in the garage and charge five dollars for a two-minute peak.

Marge: Homer, I don't think they even know what's going on. They aren't the real Monkees. Well, actually they are because they came direct from the show, but they've never been through this before. I think we should try and bring them back.

Homer: Whatever you say Marge. Oh, by the way, you might want to hide your Ringo Starr paintings from them. They might have a problem with that.

Marge: Don't worry Homer, I've already put them where nobody will find them.

Just then, Bart walks by holding what appear to be large paintings covered in a sheet.

Bart: Hey Mom. Hey Dad.

Homer: Hi Bart.

Bart walks off.

Homer: So Marge, what's for dinner?

There come four loud screams from the basement.)

In the Yard...

Crowd: WE WANT THE MONKEES WE WANT THE MONKEES!

Marge is looking out the front window then turns around and calls Bart.

Marge: BART!

Bart: (Bart comes up to her) Yeah mom?

Marge: Since it was your bright idea to bring to school, you have to figure a way to get rid of all these people. They have been camping out for 2 days. I don't think the lawn can take much more of this.

Bart: Should I get the shotgun out?

Marge: Well...No! Just go out there and move those people off my front lawn.

Bart: No problem Mom. (Bart walks outside.) Hey everybody. I would like to say for everybody who loves the Monkees...

A big cheer from the crowd.

Bart: Ah...Tomorrow, The Monkees will be giving a free concert in our backyard. And for the first 100 hundred fans, a free kiss from Davy Jones. <Even bigger cheer>

Lisa comes out.

Lisa: Bart what do you think your doing?

Bart: You'll see and then you can say your brother is the smartest kid in Springfield.

Lisa: Bart, you know that's my title

Bart: (back to crowd.) But if you want to see them tomorrow you have to go home and--

Crowd runs off.

Bart: See Lis easy as pie.

Lisa: But what are you going to do about the free concert?

Bart: Well...(walks back in house.)

Marge: Very good Bart you got rid of them.

Lisa: Yeah by giving them a free concert tomorrow in our backyard.

Marge: (her most nagging voice.) Bart!

Homer comes in singing a song.

Homer: "No Time No Time at all I got no time baby (to Marge) because I got better things to do."

Marge: Well Homer it's nice to see that the Monkees have grown on you.

Homer: You should hear some of their other stuff. Like there's this song about bad parents...Ooo and a song about war...and a song about a girlfriend who uses her boyfriend to walk all over. Apparently, she devoured all his Sweet-n-low too.

Marge: See I told you there not fakes.

Homer: Yeah I guess your right. Their music is better then I ever realized.

Marge: But now Homer we have a problem...

Peter: (just arriving alone) Hey Marge, I was wondering, because you've been so gracious as to letting us stay in your lovely basement for the time being, I could repay you by making my specialty: Cream of Root Beer Soup.

Homer: (in his hungry voice) Mmmm Cream of Root Bear Soup <gargling and drooling>

Marge: Um...that's okay Peter. Why don't you go back down with your friends and listen to some music or something?

Mike and Micky walk around the corner joining Peter

Micky: Hey Marge, we were looking in your fridge for something to eat and all we could find was beer and crusty burgers.

Bart: Oh, you mean Krusty the Klown Microwavable Burgers.

Mike: No, we mean crusty burgers (holding out a molded, half eaten, discolored hamburger with bugs crawling on it).

Bart and Lisa: Ewwww.

Marge: Okay. I'll go do some shopping. In the mean time, why don't you guys show the kids some of your music.

Bart: Yeah, seeing that you're gonna be playing a free concert in our backyard tomorrow.

Mike: A free concert?

Peter: In your back yard?

Micky: Tomorrow?

Homer: Bart! That was totally uncalled for. You should've charge ten-dollar admission.

Marge: Homer!

Lisa: Hey, where's Davy?

Micky: Playing with Maggie downstairs.

In the Basement...

Davy: Then I tried to do this talent show with this girl name Fern because her mother tricked me into it. That was girl number 305.

Maggie: <Suck Suck>

Davy: Oh you're girl number 452.

Maggie: <Suck Suck>

Marge and Lisa have entered the house with a bunch of grocery bags. Micky and Peter get up from the couch to help.

Micky: Here, let us help you Marge.

Marge: Oh you really don't have--

Peter: It's the least we can do.

Marge: Oh then okay. You're really just sweet boys, aren't you?

Micky and Peter: Thank you Mrs. Simpson.

Time elapses and they are in the kitchen putting groceries away.

Marge: So you guys wouldn't mind doing a free concert tomorrow. I'm sorry Bart did that though.

Micky: Nah. It seems like it could be fun. It's nice to see people really like us.

Peter: We still don't know how or why though.

Lisa: Just make sure to tell Davy that the first 100 people are getting kissed by him.

Micky: Oh trust me he won't mind one bit.

Davy enters kitchen.

Davy: What is it I hear about people kissing' me?

Micky, Peter, Lisa, and Marge: Nothing.

Early the next morning in front of the Simpson house...

Kent Brockman: Hi Kent Brockman here live in front of the Simpson house where tonight in the backyard of this house, the Monkees will be giving a free concert. There is already a hundred or so waiting. I also have heard something that the first 100 people in line get a kiss from David Jones. Let's go in line and meet some of these people. (Kent walks up to the front person: Mr. Smithers.) Would you care to answer a few questions for the viewers of Channel 6 News?

Smithers: Sure why not?

Kent: Can I ask what has you in front of this line?

Smithers: Well, I've always had the biggest crush on Davy Jones when I was a kid and I couldn't wait for that free...

Kent: Okay, enough of that lets get some other people. (Walking up to Patty and Selma) Why have you ladies come to the concert?

Patty: I'm trying to show my sister that Peter Tork isn't as dumb as he plays on TV.

Peter walks up behind them

Peter: Hey, are you two sisters?

Selma: (to Patty) See? You owe me a taco salad next time we go out.

On the back porch <the brick deck...whatever> Bart is standing with Mike, who is holding a guitar.

Mike: Boy, I didn't know so many people actually liked us. Are these all the people in the town?

Quick fly over to the Old Folks home. Jasper and Grampa are sitting in rocking chairs out front.

Jasper: Hey, some monkeys are playing over at your family's house.

Grampa: Last time I saw monkeys play, they ate my keys.

Jasper: Well, you want to go get them?

Grampa: <pause> Nah. They probably stink by now.

Jasper: What, the keys?

Grampa: No, the monkeys.

Back to the backyard, Lisa walks up to Mike and Bart.

Lisa: You guys better start soon. I don't think Davy's mouth can take anymore kisses.

To Davy at the booth, Agnes Skinner standing there. Davy's mouth had frozen in a bit of a puckered state.

Agnes: When am I gonna get my kiss? I want my kiss.

Davy: But waidy. I can't give wuo any kith. My mouf ith tuck.

Agnes: That hasn't stopped me yet.

Micky then comes in from the side

Micky: Davy baby, we're on.

Davy: But I can't thing.

Micky: You canned thing? The Addams aren't gonna be happy.

Agnes: (angered) That wasn't even funny.

Micky: We gotta go. (Pulls Davy with him off)

The Monkees are assembled on a bandstand that happens to be set up in the Backyard. Mike talks on the mic.

Mike: Hello Springfield. We're the Monkees. <Loud Cheering> Well, without further ado...(They break into Last Train to Clarksville.)

Bart and Lisa on the deck...

Lisa: How did they get those instruments?

Bart: And those amps?

Lisa: And that Bandstand?

Cut to Troy Sitting in the directors chair drinking his coffee reading a copy of "Play Dude"

Troy: (to the magazine) Look at the size on that...(He looks up. After a second, he through the coffee and magazine behind him. Two sage hands are heard off in the back

Stage hand 1: The Coffee! It burns!

Stage Hand 2: The Magazine cut my eyes!

Troy: Well, it seems we hit a few loopholes in our plot but what can you expect. It's the Simpsons. By now, you have seen the Monkees get caught into the wackiness of Springfield like all the other guest stars have in the past. This will be no different. However soon the Simpsons will have to figure out away to get those four groovy guys back to the TV show that they belong to and wait for cancellation but not before causing more trouble in Springfield. So enjoy the second half of the Simpson's TV crossover Special or whatever we've called it...after the commercial. (Over his shoulder) Where's my coffee and magazine? <Screaming> (Troy then looks worried. Cut to Commercial

Back to the Simpsons' house, there are ambulances and cops there for the many people who fainted. The Monkees are on "I'm A Believer".

Lisa: Who would ever thought old rockers could come so big again? And us kids really liking the music. Everybody from school is here.

Bart: I know Lisa. Tonight, I feel like the most popular kid at school.

Lisa: Well what would happen when the Monkees have to go back? Your popularity will decline and then after they realize you got them interested in a 30-year-old group, they beat you to a pulp.

Bart: Nothing I haven't handled before.

Jimbo: (in a crying/sniffing tone) This music is so beautiful, it moves me. Mike's voice has never sounded better.

Carney: (fat boy in white shirt) You like Mike too?

Jimbo: Well...

Carney: I know what you mean, man. It makes me want to start a band again. My last one died out when Carter became President.

Buzz: (boy with long red hair) Why don't we? Me, you (points to Carney), you (points to Jimbo) and Nelson.

Nelson: I want guitar this time.

Jimbo: I'm the tambourine. (The four run off)

Selma: You know Patty, the way I see them play up there with their own interments and by the looks of it Peter does look smart and <sighs> cute, you don't have to buy me a taco salad, just a coke.

Patty: But first, we must get these guys phone numbers.

Selma: Mm Hmm

Smithers: (talking to another guy next to him.) Davy Jones is just the cutest. So is Micky Dolenz, and Peter Tork. But for some reason I think I'm starting to get this thing for Mike Nesmith.

Guy: (sounding like Charles Bronson) I know what you mean buddy. Hey, would you like to go for a drink after this and talk about them?

Smithers: Love to.

Cut back to the Monkees.

Davy: For are last song tonight, we would like to play a little song that is one of my personal favorites: Daydream Believer.

Crowd goes wild and the song starts up. Scene goes to Homer and Marge.

Homer: Marge would you care to dance?

Marge: Oh Homey that is the sweetest thing. I would love to.

Marge and Homer dance.

The next morning at the dining room table...

Mike: So Mr. Simpson, what do you do for a living?

Homer: I work at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.

Peter: (sinister) Oh one of those. (Peter says something in Mike's ear.

Homer: (sinister) Yeah, those. (Curiously;) Why?

Mike: Mr. Simpson, do you think we could come to the Power Plant with you?

Homer: Sure! You could entertain the troops on their break. (The Monkees laugh) I was serious.

Before leaving for the Power Plant, the Monkees are talking when Lisa came in.

Lisa: Hi guys.

Micky: Hi Lisa

Lisa: Tell me honestly guys, why do you guys want to go to the power plant?

Peter: Well Lisa no disrespect to your dad Lisa, but we don't like nuclear power and the pollution they put into waters and air and all the riots they cause.

Micky: And because of all that, we were thinking of a way to stop it.

Lisa: Really? Me too. I try all the time but I keep getting hit by the fact that my dad works for it and the whole town is run by it and if it wasn't for Burns' Plant the whole school would be shut down. That and I'm too little

Micky: You're not too little. Look at Davy.

Davy: Hey!

Mike: And sure you can come with us. It could help that we know somebody like your dad that knows how that place works.

Lisa: <giggle> Ha ha yeah, my dad...

Homer: Come on guys, let's get to the Plant. I'll give you a tour of the whole place. (Whispering to Mike who is standing next to him) I'll even show you some places that people aren't supposed to see. Like the janitor's closets.

Mike: (politely) That'll be great Homer. Hey, is it all right if Lisa comes along?

Lisa: Please Dad? I've been extra good and I promise not to start any riots again.

Homer: Wait, don't you have school.

Lisa: Dad, it's Saturday.

Homer: Oh right, then why am I going to work?

Lisa: To make up for all those days you missed because you got locked in Moes after getting drunk last week.

Homer: Oh right, it is Saturday.

At the plant, Homer is walking the five through the halls as the others look around.

Homer: And this is where I started dancing drunk and vomited over the water fountain.

Micky: Yeah, that's nice Homer. So who's this Burns guy?

Peter: And is it true he's older than dirt?

Davy: Peter, where did you get that from?

Peter: Some guy on the radio was talking about him. Also, what is this in ter net?

Homer: Internet? Y'got me. Those Radio guys think up the darndest things don't they?

Lisa: Why don't you show them all where you work dad.

At Homer's safety panel...

Homer: And this is where I sleep.

Mike: You mean work.

Homer: Nope but don't tell my boss.

In Burns' office with Smithers, Mr. Burns is looking at the security cameras at Homer with the Monkees and Lisa.

Burns: Smithers, who is that over-weighted oaf and who are those four scrawny looking lollygaggers with him?

Smithers: That's Homer Simpson sir. One of your serving and loyal ne'er-do-wells from sector 7G. And the four boys with him are The Monkees: a popular music group and television series of the 1960s.

Burns: Ah yes, I remember their frantic running and romping back on the ol' visual tube. Well, let's call them up and see what sort of antics they have left in them.

Smithers: Yes sir.

In Homer's office...

Smithers: Simpson!

Homer: Ye-s-s Mr. Smithers?

Smithers: Mr. Burns would like to see you in his office post haste.

Homer: Yes sir. (Smithers begins to walk away then turns around again

Smithers: Oh and bring your companions with you. Mr. Burns would like to see them as well.

Homer: Yes Mr. Smithers.

Davy: Hey, weren't you the guy...

Smithers: Uh...I've gotta run. (He runs off.)

In Mr. Burns' office, the Monkees, Lisa and Homer all stand in a row next to each other in front of his desk.

Mr. Burns: The Monkees 'ay? Nice to see you still up in your prime.

Micky: Still in our prime? I'm surprised an old geezer like you is still in your life.

Peter: Micky that was rude and inconsiderate.

Lisa: This is the man who owns this polluting, dirty, squalid, disheveled Nuclear Power Plant.

Peter: But Lisa, the word "geezer"?

Mr. Burns: But what did you really come here for? Surely you had no intention of entertaining this whole monstrous hull of ignoramuses that earn less than they're worth.

Micky: (whispering to Davy) Boy, Springfield sure does teach big words in their vocabulary.

Mike: Well Mr. Burns we kind of a problem with your power plant and what it brings to the town.

Mr. Burns: A problem with me plant? Oh P-shaw. This plant is as clean as it ever was. The building inspectors pass it with flying colors every month. (To Smithers:) Oh, that reminds me Smithers, we need to make a run to the bank before next week to pick up the bribe money.

Smithers: It's already in my day planner sir.

Peter: But, have you ever seen how bad it is to the land and the water. If you keep doing this we will all be dead by 2009.

Lisa: Mr. Burns, I have stood up and protested for closing down this plant and it never work because I was little. So will you listen to celebrities? Eight out of 10 people in the world learn from and listen to celebrities from commercials, public service announcements, and billboard ads everyday.

Homer: (to Lisa) I thought you said you weren't going to do anything.

Lisa: It wasn't my idea; it was theirs (pointing to the Monkees).

Mr. Burns: No never! Smithers send them away.

Smithers: Maybe you should listen to them, Mr. Burns. They have been influencing the hearts of young Americans for 33 years now.

Davy: You mean we're still popular now?

Lisa: (giggling embarrassingly) Yeah...ha...ha...

Mr. Burns: Never! Send them away with their romping TV self's.

Smithers: Yes sir.

Outside of Mr. Burns' office, the group walks out followed by Smithers.

Smithers: Well, I'm sorry, guys but I have to carry through with Mr. Burns' orders.

Micky: Don't you know how to stand up for yourself? You just let him boss you around like that.

Smithers: Well Mr. Burns gave me this job and I totally love the guy...ah...for it. I would do anything for him.

Mike: Even if you do, you've got to learn how to stand up for yourself. We did and we got to have control over ourselves, but then it gets taken away by an uncontrollable twist of fate. So you could do it. (Puts a hand on his shoulder.)

Smithers: How do you suggest I do though?

Micky: Different disguises.

Davy: Different voices.

Peter: Running around helps too.

Smithers: All right. I'll do it. Anything for you guys.

Peter: Come on. Let's start a full-blown protest.

Lisa: And I know of a lot of people who would help.

A little later about a thousand people including Smithers, Marge, and Bart are protesting, holding signs against the place saying "Down with Pollution" "No More Nucs...er...Power Plants" "Power is wrong if it's Nuclear".

Lisa: (to her family who is standing in the corner) Look at this. What an outcome. So many fans standing up for the Monkees.

Homer: You know what? I found out the Monkees music isn't that bad. They have some out of sight songs.

Lisa: We know Dad. You've said that for the past two days. And the phrase "Out of Sight" went out 30 years ago.

Homer: Ohhh but their just so Groovy to say. Well, I think the Monkees are in and that's all.

Bart: Yeah the Monkee rule! Power to the Monkees!

Mr. Burns' office, Burns stands glaring on his balcony looking down at the crowd.

Mr. Burns: (to himself) Look at them. Won't they ever lean that protesting won't work? I still keep coming back stronger. But somehow those Monkees are the cause of it all.

In the Crowd, The Monkees are standing up higher over the crowd holding signs. Micky is holding a Megaphone.

Crowd: Monkees Rule! Monkees Rule!

Micky: (to the Crowd) What do we want?

Crowd: For Burns to shut down the Power Plant and start a more conventional and safer way of producing Energy for households.

Micky: (to the crowd) When do we want it?

Crowd: Before 2009!

Micky: (to the others) I think it's working.

Lisa and Bart come up on the platform where the Monkees are standing

Bart: You guys sure can cause a good protest. I haven't seen one this big since that bear came to our neighborhood.

Lisa: Or the town found out about the Burlesque house.

Bart: Or when Dad pealed that gummy candy off our baby-sitters butt.

The Monkees look confusingly at each other.

Mike: Yes, well, where we come from, protests are very common. You see...

Lisa: Yeah Vietnam and the hippie movement and Nixon and Watergate.

Peter: Nixon and Watergate?

Homer: (calling up to the Monkees) Hey Monkees, sing some protest song.

Davy: Actually, we never really sang any real protest songs before...

Crowd: Sing! Sing! Sing!

Lisa: C'mon. Why don't you sing something with protesting title like "No Time?"

Micky: Yeah but Lisa...

Lisa: No just get the crowd to sing the refrain. That ought to teach Burns a lesson.

Mike: I get it. C'mon let's try.

Micky: (In the Megaphone) "No time!"

Mike, Peter, and Davy: "No Time...No time at all"

Micky: "No Time for you"

Others: "No Time...No Time at all."

Micky: "I got No Time Burnsy got lots of better things to do."

Others: "No Time No Time at all."

Soon the whole crowd, Marge, Homer, Lisa, and Bart begin to sing the refrain over and over again. Up on the Balcony, Burns glares more.

Burns: So now they have no time for me, 'ay? And they got better things to do 'ay? Maybe I should take out their leaders. But how?

In Burns office, Burns sits at his desk as the Professor Frink stands in front of a chalk board with all sorts of unlegible equations and odd looking drawings

Professor Frink: So you see Mr., Burns, if you give me the needed funds, I can construct, for you, a dimensional door that can suck the Monkees back into their own world so they can go back to their romping and singing and all their Hey Hey we're the Monkees....

Burns: (evilly) Excellent. Now, to get them in there.

Burns steps onto the balcony again.

Burns: (yelling) Fine. I can't take it anymore. You guys win. I will make this power plant more environmentally safe. Now if you could just step in here Monkees--

Lisa: How do we know you're not up to something Burns?

Burns: Well of course I'm not little girl. Now come in.

Professor Frink: (steps out on balcony) Mr. Burns, I just finished the dimensional door to bring the Monkees back to their own world.

Lisa: I know you were up to something. GET HIM!!

Burns: (to Frink) Oh why couldn't you keep quiet for just five minutes.

The now more riotous crowd starts running up to the power plant and start beating on Mr. Burns' door. Burns gets his hounds to stop them. The Hounds start beating down on Monkee, who are in the front of the mob. Davy looks at the hound with kind eyes and tells him to stop and turns to Mr. Burns. They then start pounding on him saying something that sounds like 'you made me beat up a Monkee'.

Micky: Davy, since when could you do that with dogs?

Davy: I'm the Davy Jones. I can do anything.

Peter: I thought it only worked on girls.

Bart: I'd stop that conversation right there if I were you guys.

Marge turns to Homer as they run into the office.

Marge: Homer, get the door before Burns can use it. We could use that to get the Monkees back in their own time.

Homer: Right Marge.

Homer grabs the door and starts slowly pulling it out the door and Professor Frink sees him.

Professor: No not the dimensional door. Stop slowly lugging my door out of this office.

Homer: Sorry Professor but I need to take this before it's used for evil.

As Homer continues to pull the door out of the office, Micky and Peter stand up on his desk.

Micky: Hold it Hold it. This isn't right.

Peter: Stop. Peace. Stop the violence.

The crowd stops and they all turn to the Monkees.

Carl: Hey, wait a second. You mean this is all just some protest for peace?

Lenny: Yeah, I thought this was for cleaner air but peace?

Micky: (in the Megaphone) Come on people of Springfield. Give Peace a Chance! Stop all the violence. Look at what it turns you into; you're all just one big Mr. Burns.

Peter: (screaming down) Yeah a rich, successful, well off, old, and able to get anything you want.

Micky: (to Peter) Yeah Pete. That would be sheer torture to be a Mr. Burns, wouldn't it?

Down in the parking lot, Homer, now joined by Mike, Davy, and Bart, are still putting the door in the back seat of the Simpson car.

Bart: Man, why is it all these doors that beam you to different dimensions have to be so darn heavy?

Mike: I think it's in some sort of inventors' criteria.

Homer: Nah, it's just so people like us won't steal it and try to take it in their cars.

Marge: Oh my, gosh. Look at the crowd. Why are they getting all rowdy all of a sudden?

Lisa runs up.

Lisa: Guys, we have to get Micky and Peter. They started a riot for promoting peace.

Davy: (to Mike) Have you noticed how much irony occurs in this town?

Lisa: Come on you guys we have to save them.

Marge: Mike and Davy, you two should stay here. And hold Maggie while I'm gone.

Davy: (taking Maggie) All right Mrs. S. No problem

Marge: (to her family) C'mon, we've gotta save them

They all run off.

Mike: (to Maggie in Davy's arms, in a baby voice) Hey there Maggie. Are you having fun with us? Huh?

Davy: Mike, what're you doing?

Mike: I'm talkin' with a beautiful babe, do you mind?

Davy: She's my baby.

Maggie: <Suck Suck> (She hangs onto Davy and holds up a peace sign to Mike.

Davy: That's right Maggie: Peace, Mike.

Mike: You have to get to all the babies, don't you? For once give me a baby.

Maggie: <Suck Suck>

In Mr. Burns' office, Micky and Peter are up against his wall backed up by Mr. Burns and a small group of rioting people now as Marge, Lisa, Homer and Bart run up.

Bart: How are we going to help them out of this jam?

Lisa: Dad, could you be a distraction?

Homer: Can I?

Bart: It's easy Dad. Just dance around and sing and act like an idiot.

Homer: Can do son.

Homer then starts to do some crazy dancing and singing gibberish. Slowly the crowd slowing turning around to look at him.

Carl: Look everybody Homer is trying to do something.

At that moment Marge and Lisa started to get Peter and Micky out of the door. Then the crowd notices they get all winded up again.

A person from crowd: They're getting away.

Another person: GET THEM!

Bart: Dad, I think it might now be a good time to RUN!

Homer: Why? (He looks at the angry mob of people.) Oh, the crowd. Right.

Bart and Homer start running out the door with the crowd right behind them. Mike and Davy are already in the car.

Mike: Well, can't I as least hold her?

Maggie: <Suck Suck> (She shakes her head and clings harder onto Davy

Davy: Sorry man, the babe has spoken.

Suddenly, the others hop into the car. Homer at wheel and drive off with the crowd chasing them done. They finally run out of the car into the house with Bart, Homer and Lisa carrying the door. They finally get it in the door when the crowd starts coming closer to the house.

Marge: Homer, watch the door.

Homer: The what?

Marge: The door! Put the couch to the door. (To Monkees) I'm sorry it had to happen this way you guys.

Peter: That's all right. It was kind of fun.

Mike, Micky, and Davy hit Peter on the head.

Marge: Do you have the door set up?

Bart: Yeah, but how do you turn it on?

Lisa: The "on" switch.

Close up of the "On" switch. Lisa then flicks it up and the glowing green light shines indicating that it's on.

Marge: Guess this is good-bye. (Marge starts sniffing

Micky: Don't cry Marge maybe we will see you soon.

Mike: If the people still here don't hate us.

Peter: Yeah what was with that?

There comes pounding and yelling from the door and the windows of the house.

Lisa: No time to talk you have to get out of here.

The Monkees say good-bye again then they step in the door with the green light. The Simpsons watch for one-second. Then they step outside.

Marge: Sorry but your late. They just left.

Crowd: (to one another) They're gone; they're gone.

Moe: Come on. Let's go terrorize the Lovin' Spoonful. They were spreading' peace at City Hall.

The crowd cries out riotous noises and walks off. The Simpsons walk back into the house.

Lisa: Thank God that's all over.

Homer: You know, I'm kinda going to miss those guys.

Lisa, Bart, and Marge: Yeah.

Marge: (turns on the TV) Hey look, they're on TV right now. Oh look, Peter's crying. <Giggle>

Bart: Maybe later. (He walks away)

Lisa: Yeah Mom, I don't want to watch them right now. I've had enough Monkees for one day. (She walks away following Bart's path.)

Homer: Marge, when are you going to get with the times? (He walks away.)

Marge: <groan> Well I least I want to.

Marge sits on the couch for a minute then turns off the TV and walks in the kitchen. The screen goes black.

Troy: (sitting in Matt Groening's chair still) And there you have it. The Simpson/Monkees crossover. <Pause, smiling> Ahem <pause> Hey, you want to know something almost scary? During the entire ordeal, Homer never said "d'oh" once. Think about it.

In the background, the sound of a head banging on something against a hard surface and Homer screaming "D'OH" extremely loud. Troy looks over then looks back smiling.

Troy: Ahehe...I spoke a little too soon. Well, how about this: there was no Itchy and Scratchy show.

A TV set clicks on in the background you hear the Itchy and Scratchy show theme song then Bart and Lisa laughing.

Troy: Oh I give up. Tune in next week for more Simpson craziness.

At the Simpson's front door, the modern-day Monkees open the door and peak in. Micky is in the front.

Micky: We're ba-ack. <Bom Bom Bommmm>

Cut to Credits