(Blllm)

Reggie: Here we come, walkin'
Down the street.
We get the funniest looks from
Ev'ry one we meet.
Hey, hey, we're the Mallards
And people say we monkey around.
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down.
We're just tryin' to be friendly,
Come and watch us sing and play,
We're the young gneration,
And we've got something to say.
Hey, hey, we're the Mallards
You'll never know where we'll be found
So you better get ready
We may be comin' to your town!

Scene 1: Reggie's Apartment
The Mallards and their girls are sitting in Reggie's living room, watching a Sci-Fi/Horror movie. The movie is about aliens invading the Earth

Sarah: (leans into Reggie) This movie is giving me the creeps, Reggie.
Phyllis: (holds Mike's hand tighter) How long is it until it's over?

Reggie looks on as a large alien growls and moves in closer to the heroine. Both heroine and Reggie scream. Reggie turns off the TV before anything else could happen.

Reggie: Well, that's enough of that!
Quackerjack: (breathes of relief for a moment) Man, I'm glad there aren't any such things as aliens in real life!
Camille: (nods in agreement) There's always some sci-fi stuff about them. I never did go for sci-fi.
Sarah: and it's almost always aliens invading the Earth.
Reggie: (stands up) It's not all sci-fi and it's not all invasions on Earth.
Mike: (interested) Really? What's it sometimes?
Reggie: Have you ever heard about Zor and Zam?
Others: (shake their heads) No.
Reggie: Well, it's time you learned.

Music starts and leads into "Zor And Zam"

Reggie: The king of Zor, he called for war
And the king of Zam, he answered.
They fashioned their weapons one upon one
Ton upon ton, they called for war at the rise of the sun.

Out went the call to one and to all
That echoed and rolled like the thunder.
Trumpets and drums, roar upon roar
More upon more.
Rolling the call of "Come now to war."

Throughout the night they fashioned their might
With right on the side of the mighty.
They puzzled their minds plan upon plan
Man upon man
And at dying of dawn the great war began.

They met on the battlefield banner in hand.
They looked out across the vacant land.
And they counted the missing, one upon one,
None upon none.
The war it was over before it begun.

Two little kings playing a game.
They gave a war and nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.

Once Reggie is finished, the others stare at him like he's a complete idiot

Mike: That is the most rediculous thing I've ever heard in my life. (Looks at his watch) we'd better get goin'. Even though Davy loves the kids to bits, he can sometimes have enough of them when we leave him as baby sitter to long. (Takes Phyllis's hand and walks out the door)
Sarah: (stands up and heads for the door) I'd better get going as well. I've got a painting to
Quackerjack: (stands up and walks out the door) It's time we all got going.
Darkwing: (waves as he and Bianca leave) See ya later, Reg!
Reggie: (waves) Bye. (Flops down on the sofa and turns on MTV)

Scene 2- Between Zor and Zam
(Two aliens, who look more human than alien are holding a two person war. They are throwing things like spiked aliens and other goony things at each other. One finally stops)
Zam: Hey Zor! This isn't going anywhere!
Zor: (stops in midthrow and realizes Zam is right) You're right. We've got to team up and do something. (Both of them start to think about what to do)
Zam: (snaps his fingers) I've got it! Let's invade a planet!
Zor: Hey good thinking! But what planet?
Zam: (pulls out a dart) Hold up the map. Whatever the dart hits, we invade.
Zor: Okay. (Holds up a map of the solar system. Zam throws dart and it lands on Earth)
Zam: A ha! We attack Earth!
Zor: Come on. Let's prepare! (Both board their miniature space ships and fly off)

Scene 3- Mike's House
(Mike is kneeling on the floor, trying to amuse his two children, Christian and Jessica, with the TV on and the evening news in the background. Phyllis enters just in time to see Mike making goony faces infront of the kids)

Phyllis: (bends over and kisses the top of his head) You have no idea how long I've waited to do that.
Mike: You shouldn't have done that.
Phyllis: (laughs) Why not?
Mike: (smiles sneakily) Because I haven't washed my hair in two weeks. It's all greasy.
Phyllis: (looks at Mike with a look of shock)
Mike: (laughs and points at her) Gotcha!
Phyllis: Ooh you! (Grabs the newspaper, rolls it up, and chases Mike with it. Mike is laughing his head off. They chase each other around the kitchen table for a few moments until they hear a loud bang and the house shakes a little)
Mike: (surprised) What was that?
Phyllis: (shrugs) I don't know.

(Both of them pick up Christian and Jessica and walk over to the den where the TV is on, to see if there's anything about it on the news)

Anchorman: (nervously) This just in! We're being invaded by aliens! Head for the hills! Run for your lives! Aaaahhhh!

The Anchorman jumps up and runs away. Mike and Phyllis give each other funny looks. Mike balances Jessica in one arm while he shuts off the TV

Mike: We're bein' invaded by aliens. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. (Another boom is heard and the house shakes once more. Mike dares to look out the window. Surprised) Holy Toledo! We are bein' invaded by aliens!
Phyllis: (rolls her eyes) Mike, that's not funny.
Mike: No, I'm serious. Look! (Points outside the window)
Phyllis: (groans and looks. Surprised) Oh my god. You're right.
Mike: (balances Jessica in one arm again and grabs Phyllis's hand) Come on. We've got to get out of here!

Scene 4- The Center of Town
Mike, Phyllis, and their kids meet up with the other Mallards, their girls, the Monkees, and the Warners

Reggie: (shocked) We're being invaded by aliens!
Mike: (nods and starts jumping up and down) I know, I know, I know, I know, I know! (Continues jumping. Jessica lets out a wail and Mike stops) Oops.
Davy: You know, babies can only take so much bouncing, Mike.
Sarah: This is no time to discuss anything! We've got to run!

A stream of people is rushing out of the city, nearly running over everybody else

Micky: Must be sausage and onion day at Tony's Pizzeria.
Darkwing: No, I think they're getting out of the country before the aliens and their fleet of ten thousand men come in and blow everything to bits!
Reggie: (flinches for a moment) Geez, Darkwing! What do you want to do? Give me an asthma attack?!
Mike: (looks up) Hey guys? How many aliens did you say are invadin'?
Darkwing: Roughly ten thousand, I think. Why?
Mike: You're nine thousand nine hundred and ninety eight aliens short.
Darkwing: (confused) Huh? (Looks up and sees two aliens, Zor and Zam) You're kidding.
Zor: Greetings Earthlings! We are Zor and Zam. And we are here to conquer the Earth.
Micky: Hey aren't you supposed to be holding a war on your own planets?
Zam: Yeah, but we got tired of it.
Micky: Oh.
Darkwing: You two are out of luck. Everybody skipped town. (Laughs) we're the only ones left to conquer.
Zor: (thinks for a minute) That won't be a problem.

Scene 5- The Alien Mother Ship Jail Cell
The Mallards, the Monkees, the girls, and the Warners are pacing back and forth in a cell, with an electric force field infront of it.

Mike: (trying to comfort Jessica who's crying, but pauses to Darkwing) You had to open your big fat mouth, didn't you?
Yakko: Any ideas on how to get out of here?
Wakko: (thinks for a minute) It's simple. We walk out. (Walks for the force field. He gets an electric shock. The noise makes Jessica cry harder and soon Christian starts)
Phyllis: (cringes) Oooh. That had to sting.
Wakko: (singed, sits down on the floor) Anybody got any other ideas?
Quackerjack: (singing "I Wanna Be Free" under his breath. Somehow or another as he's singing, the force field disappears. Wakko runs for it)
Wakko: (shouts) GANGWAY! (Quackerjack is so shocked, he stops singing and the force field returns. Wakko gets an electrical shock once more)
Davy and Quackerjack: (calmly, even though they're scared to death) Don't do that.
Micky: Hey! That must be a musical lock or something.
Quackerjack: Maybe if I sing, the door will open. I'll go out first if the door opens and then you guys follow. (Shrugs) Besides, this is true right now.

Music intros to "I Wanna Be Free"

Quackerjack: I wanna be free,
Like the bluebirds flying by me
Like the waves out on the blue sea.
If your love has to tie me, don't try me,
Say good-bye.
I wanna be free,
Don't say you love me say you like me,
But when I need you beside me,
Stay close enough to guide me, confide in me,
Oh-oh-oh

I wanna hold yur hand,
Walk along the sand
Laughing in the sun,
Always having fun
Doing all those things
Without any strings
To tie me down.

I wanna be free,
Like the warm September wind, babe,
Say you'll always be my friend, babe.
We can make it to the end, babe,
Again, babe, I gotta say:
I wanna be free
I wanna be free
I wanna be free

The door opens and everybody runs out

Peter: Now what do we do?
Reggie: We save the Earth.
Peter: (happy and excited) Oh goody! (Frowns) but how?
Micky: (sighs) Where's Superman when you need him?

The Mallards, the Monkees, the girls, and the Warners sit around and start thinking

Reggie: (snaps his fingers) I've got it! What we do is try to get Zor and Zam out of here and that's it.
Mike: Yeah, but how are we gonna do that?
Reggie: I don't know. Let's think about it a little more.

Reggie sits down and starts to think. The others begin to think as well

Wakko: I suggest we run.
Dot: (looks at him) How with that help us save the world?
Wakko: It won't, really. (Points) It's just that Zor and Zam are coming this way.
Mike: (jumps to his feet) EVERYBODY SCATTER!

Everybody runs and this starts a Monkee/Mallard romp scene to "This Just Doesn't Seem To Be My Day"

Quackerjack: I guess I should have stayed in bed,
My pillow wrapped 'round my head.
Instead of waking up to find
A nightmare of a different kind.
She went away,
This just doesn't seem to be my day.

She didn't have to say a lot,
Her pretty eyes revealed the plot.
'Twas someone else she want more,
And so I walked her to the door.
What can I say?
This just doesn't seem to be my day.
My, oh my, how sad am I.
How I wish she would have stayed
This just doesn't seem to be my day.

My whole world is upside down,
She turned my smile into a frown.
It's such a pity the shape I'm in,
I must get on my feet again.
Can't stay this way
This just doesn't seem to be my day.

(The gang runs outside Zor and Zam's mother ship. The Mallards come across a bridge that leads to a small ocean. Reggie, Quackerjack, and Darkwing jump. Mike is thinking about it)

Davy: (chases after the Mallards) 'Ey Mike! 'Ey! 'Ey! I want to tell you something!
Mike: (sets Jessica on the ground) Be a good girl and stay right there. Don't move one little muscle! (Pinches his nose and jumps)
Davy: (picks up Jessica) Oh, 'ello, luv. Did your daddy and is friends jump off this silly thing?

Jessica just giggles and says a long string of baby talk

Micky: Forget it, Davy-baby. You're not going to get any information out of a baby.

The Mallards hit the water and set the stage for a Mallard romp. This time, to "Porpoise Song"

Reggie: My, my the clock in the sky is pounding away
There's so much to say
A face, a voice, an overdub has no choice
An image cannot rejoice
Wanting to be, to hear and to see
Crying to the sky
But the porpoise is laughing good-bye, good-bye
good-bye, good-bye, good-bye

Clicks, clacks
Riding the backs of giraffes
The life's alright for a while
The ego sings of castles and kings and things
That go with a life of style
Wanting to feel, to know what is real
Living is a lie
But the porpoise is waiting good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye
Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye

Four porpoises drop the Mallards off on a beach. The Monkees, the Warners, and the girls run to them

Mike: (stands up and spits out some water in his mouth) What did you want to tell me, Davy-baby?
Davy: That we've ditched Zor and Zam. You didn't need to jump off that silly bridge.
Mike: (shakes himself and groans) Here, give me the kid. (Takes Jessica and balances her on his hip) He's crazy, kid.

Jessica sticks her thumb in her mouth and stares at Mike

Phyllis: Let's find a hiding place and think about how to save the world before Zor and Zam come back! (Everybody runs off)

Scene 6- A Cave Outside Los Angeles
The gang is sitting inside the cave, thinking about what actions to take

Micky: (worried) I think Zor and Zam will find us. We can't hide out forever you know.
Mike: (nods) I know, man, I know. But somehow or another we've got to figure out how to save the world.
Darkwing: (snaps his fingers) I've got it! We'll have Peter sing "Your Auntie Grizelda" to them.
Peter: (curious) Why me?
Darkwing: Next to Wakko, you have the worst voice of us all.
Peter: (starts to cry)
Mike: That wasn't nice, Darkwing. You've got a pretty bad voice yourself. (Sighs) All right, all right. Enough insultin'. We've got to think of a plan.

A laser blasts the cave away. Everyone else jumps to their feet and is talking and screaming at once, except Mike, who shakes his head

Mike: No. No, I don't think blowin' them up would do any good.
Zor: (jumps up and down in the space ship) Hey! Hey! Here they are!
Zam: (smiles) Ah ha! Time do initialize the ultimate plan.
Zor: (excitedly) the ultimate plan!
Both: (excitedly) the ultimate plan!
Micky and Reggie: (in unison) The ultimate plan?

Zor throws a switch and Zam pushes a button. The ground starts to shake

Reggie: Whoooaaaa. (Falls to the ground) This deserves a six point eight on the rictor scale!

A large crack forms in the ground, seperating the Monkees, the girls, and the Warners from the Mallards. Mike's jaw drops open in surprise

Mike: (runs for the crack) Noooooo! (tries to jump the crack, but Darkwing and Reggie hold him back)
Reggie: Don't Mike! Dont'! You'll never make it!
Mike: But I have to get to Phyllis! (A large barrier of some sort blocks the Mallards off from the others. Mike is banging on it, like Micky did the Coke machine in "Head") No! No, no, no no!
Reggie: (takes out a bottle of seltzer and sprays Mike in the face with it) Cool it!
Mike: (wipes face with hand and spits out some seltzer) Thanks. I needed that.
Darkwing: (sighs) Great. We've lost sight of the Monkees, the Warners, and the girls. What'll we do now?
Mike: (shrugs and opens his mouth to say something, but gets cut off by a wail) What in the world.... (walks towards Quackerjack who's holding Jessica) Oh no!
Quackerjack: (confused) What's the matter?
Mike: (storms around in circles) Everytime I'm around her (points sharply at Jessica) I get a string of bad luck.
Darkwing: (finds what Mike said very hard to believe) Ah come on!
Mike: I'm serious. Everytime Phyllis isn't around when I'm with Jessica, I have bad luck. This is all Jessica's doin'. I just know it!
Quackerjack: (getting steamed right about now) Michael Nesmith, that's not true and you know it! This whole thing is not Jessie's fault! She's just a baby! How could a baby cause this mess?!
Mike: She's evil!
Quackerjack: (shocked) Mike, how can even say that?! How can you?! She's your daughter!
Mike: (glares at Quackerjack) No, Quackerjack. No. She is Phyllis's daughter. She is not my daughter. She never was my daughter. She never will be my daughter! (Turns away and starts walking. He turns back to the others) Now come on! Are we goin' to save this world or what?!

The others stare at Mike in shock but follow him anyway

Reggie: (whispers) He's just a bit uptight because of the barrier. He'll be all right once we let him cool off. (The others nod and walk off)

Scene 7- A Colorful Path
With Mike leading the way, with one hand along the barrier, the Mallards walk along a path where it looks like Zor and Zam haven't hit yet.

Reggie: Gosh, it doesn't look like Zor and Zam hit this place yet.
Mike: (points to a sign) See that sign? It says "Guaranteed Protection From Alien Invasions". (looks around) I'd hate to see what's behind this barrier.
Darkwing: (knocks on the barrier) Maybe there's someone behind it. The Monkees, the Warners, possibly the girls. (continues knocking)
Mike: (grabs his wrist) Darkwing, no. No, man. It'll never work. Zor and Zam blocked us off. I learned this barrier is sound proof. Includin' knockin'. Their gone. Everyone is gone! Gone, gone, gone!
Quackerjack: Mike, don't talk like that! That's probably not true! I can't believe you're giving up!
Mike: I'm not givin' up! I'm just sayin' that maybe it's too late for the others!

Walks off ahead of the others, angrily. Looks back to see if they followed him. He sees they're all out of sight, so he leans against the barrier, sits down, pulls his knees to his chest, and sighs. This is the song cue for "I Won't Be The Same Without Her"

Mike: Life is hard for me to touch now.
I just don't enjoy it as much now.
When she left, something inside of me died.
And I won't be the same without her,
No I won't be the same without her
By my side.

There's no end end to my sorrow.
I'm afraid to face tomorrow.
When she left, she took much more than my pride.
And I won't be the same without her,
No I won't be the same without her
By my side.

It isn't easy to forget her,
And the way it used to be.
She changed my life the day I met her.
And I won't be the same without her,
No I won't be the same without her
Close to me.

Life is hard for me to touch now.
I just don't enjoy it as much now.
When she left, something inside of me died.
And I won't be the same without her,
No I won't be the same without her
By my side.

The other Mallards rush over to him. Before they see him sitting on the ground, he jumps up and straightens out his clothes

Reggie: Hey Mike, you okay?
Mike: (nods) Yeah, let's just go.

The Mallards walk off. Quackerjack is talking softly to someone. And it's getting on Mike's nerves

Mike: (yells) Would you stop that?! It's getting on my nerves!

Quackerjack: (edgily) Sorry. (Jessica cries loudly at the moment) Now look what you did, Mike! You made her cry!
Mike: (madder than he has ever been in his entire life) I don't care! I don't care about her! Not one little bit! I don't care about her at all! (Jessica cries harder. Mike gives out a frustrated sigh and grabs her away from Quackerjack and yells louder than he ever has in his entire life) WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?!! I HATE YOU! I CAN'T STAND YOU! I WISH I NEVER KNEW YOU! (Throws her back to Quackerjack and runs off, leaving the others bewildered)
Darkwing: (first to get his wits back) I have never heard Michael yell like that before.
Reggie: (nods) Yeah. (Laughs) I'm surprised I didn't have an asthma attack!
Quackerjack: (tries to comfort Jessica) I don't understand it. He had just gotten used to her. Or so it seemed. I don't understand it.
Reggie: (walks off after Mike) You two stay here. I'm gonna go try and find Mike and calm him down.
Quackerjack: (starts knocking on the barrier and sighs) I think Mike may be right on this one. I don't jear anything.
Darkwing: We can't think about that now, Quackerjack. (Takes Jessica and rubs her back) And maybe Mike's wrong. He's never right all the time. I say the girls, the Warners, and the Monkees are behind this thing. We've just got to look for it!
Quackerjack: (pulls a picture of Camille out of his wallet) I guess so. You go on ahead. I want to stay here for a minute.

Darkwing nods and goes to follow Reggie. Quackerjack looks at the picture, which is the song cue for "Man Without A Dream"

Quackerjack: With the music of life
My soul is out of tune
And I feel like I'm growing old
Much too soon
My love I just couldn't compare
And the key to my happiness
I let slip away

Now I'm a man without a dream
I've got a heart that has no home
All my senses are numb
Losing you I've become
A man without a dream
Instead of striving to reach my goals in life
I got distracted with mean, endless games
For just an illusion I traded love that was real
Now my eyes cannot see and my heart cannot feel

Now I'm a man without a dream
I've got a heart that has no home
All my senses are numb
Losing you I've become
A man without a dream

Sometimes I think I'm a prisoner of fate
Doomed to find out things a little too late
And so I must play this broken man's role
Unless you come home girl
And bring back my soul

Now I'm a man without a dream
I've got a heart that has no home
All my senses are numb
Losing you I've become
A man without a dream

Without a dream
Without a dream
Without a dream

Quackerjack Walks to catch up with the others

Scene 8- Further Along The "Straight And Narrow Path"
The Mallards walk along the same path. Mike has calmed down, but he's still not to pleased with the presence of Jessica

Mike: You think Zor and Zam will attack on us?
Quackerjack: (a bit peeved at Mike. Flatly) I don't know. And frankly, I don't care if they do.
Mike: (just as flatly) well, then, I don't care if they do, either.
Reggie: Boy you two are steamed at each other. Can you two just drop it?
Mike: (glares and turns his head) No comment.
Reggie: (shrugs) all right, but you're acting immature.

Mike rolls his eyes and walks on. The others follow. They hear a space ship above them and look up

Darkwing: (grabs Mike's arm) It's them, Michael! It's them!
Mike: (edgilly) I can see that. Now tell me somethin' I don't know.
Zor: (looks down) Hey Zam! Think we should use the XIOG-37?
Zam: (nods) Go for it!
Zor: This'll be fun! (Pushes button and a steam roller appears out of nowhere)
Darkwing: Everybody run out of the way!
Reggie: Ahhh-ahhh. Don't have to tell me twice!
Quackerjack: Say no more, Darkwing. Say no more!

The Mallards run to the side of a grassy field, out of the steamroller's way. All of them sigh of relief

Mike: Everybody here? (Does a quick head count) Yep. All here.
Quackerjack: (realizes something) Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where's Jessie?
Mike: (looks around) Jessie? Jessica? (Looks on the path and sees Jessica trying to follow a bug. Mike gasps) JESSIIIICAAAAA! (Darts out to the path)
Darkwing: (shocked) MICHAEL NO!

Mike picks up his pace, grabs Jessica, and tumbles over onto the other side of the steamroller, just seconds before it rolled over the spot where Jessica was. Mike is laying on his back, in relief, smothers Jessica with kisses

Mike: (pressing Jessica to his chest, between kisses, tears appearing) Oh my god, oh my god. I was so afraid. Oh darlin'. Oh, my baby. Don't ever scare me like that again. Oh god, baby, you scared me half to death. (Catches breath and crying) Oh, honey. Oh, Jessica, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! (Hugs Jessica close) Honey, I'm sorry.

This is the cue for "Propinquity (I've Just Begun To Care)"

Mike: I've known for a long time
The kind of girl you are.
Of a smile that covers teardrops,
The way your head yields to you heart.
Of things you've kept inside
That most girls couldn't bear.
I've known you for a long time
But I've just begun to care.

I've known of all the heartaches
I've known of all the pain.
I've seen you when the sun shines.
And I've seen you when it rains.
I've seen you make a look of love
From just an icy stare.
I've known you for a long time
But I've just begun to care.

I know I've been blind
To not have loved you all this time.
But the image of you wasn't clear.
I guess I've been standing too near.

Oh, it's taken me a while
But I have finally found
What you are to me
And that's what really counts.
And what you are to me
Is something we can share.
I've known you for a long time
But I've just begun to care.

{Instrumental}

Oh, it's taken me a while
But I have finally found
What you are to me
And that's what really counts.
And what you are to me
Is something we can share.
I've known you for a long time
But I've just begun to care.

The others are watching Mike laying on the grass, holding Jessica close and are very, very, very shocked. The three walk over

Quackerjack: Hey Mike, I thought you hated her.
Mike: (doesn't look up) I know I did. I didn't mean it. I guess I was still a little steamed about her and Phyllis and all that jazz.
Reggie: (nods) I know man. (Thinks for a moment) Why'd you jump out infront of the steam roller like that, anyway?
Mike: (still holding Jessica close, but stands up) I don't know. Somethin' inside of me triggered I guess. Like I was singin', I never cared a thing about her until now. I just couldn't bare to see a steamroller run over an innocent little baby. My baby girl. My little darlin'.
Darkwing: You've changed a lot, Michael. (Starts walking off) Come on. The sooner we go, the faster we find the Monkees, the Warners, and the girls and save the world!
Other Mallards: Right!

The Mallards run off to save the day

Scene 9- The End Of The World
The Mallards walk along the path until Reggie finds the end of the barrier

Reggie: (smiles) Hey guys! The barrier just stops here! It doesn't go on!

The other three cheer and run out to the other side

Mike: (to Jessica) Hear that, honey? We're gonna find Mommy and we're gonna save the world! (Jessica laughs) Yeah, we're gonna find 'em all and save the...

Mike stops short for a moment and looks around in shock. Everything is totally gray

Darkwing: This is the earth now?
Quackerjack: (looks around) What's happened to all the color?

The Mallards walk around this side of the barrier, having a hard time believing this is what happened to the world. This is the cue for "Shades Of Gray"

Quackerjack: When the world and I were young,
Just yesterday.
Life was such a simple game,
A child could play.
It was easy then to tell right from wrong.
Easy then to tell weak from strong.
When a man should stand and fight,
Or just go along
Quackerjack and Darkwing: But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light.
Today there is no black or white,
Darkwing: Only shades of gray.
I remember when the answers seemed so clear
We had never lived with doubt or tasted fear.
Both: It was easy then to tell truth from lies
Selling out from compromise
Who to love and who to hate,
The foolish from the wise.
But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light.
Today there is no black or white,
Darkwing: Only shades of gray.
[Instumental interlude]
Both: It was easy then to know what was fair
When to keep and when to share.
How much to protect your heart
And how much to care.

But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light.
Today there is no black or white,
Darkwing: Only shades of gray.
Both: Only shades of gray

The Mallards look all around the place for familiar faces. They find two: Zor and Zam

Zam: Time to attack, Zor!
Zor: I thought you'd never suggest it! (Pushes a button and a giant laser appears) Time to toast 'em!
Darkwing: We've got to do something!
Mike: (starts running off) I'm gonna find a safe place for Jessica. You guys fight. I'll join you in a minute! (Runs off)
Reggie: (sarcastically) Great. He wants us to battle this without him. How are we supposed to do that?
Quackerjack: Simple. Try to get those laser beams to bouce back at the ship!

The Mallards start jumping around trying to find something that could whack a laser beam back at the space ship. Darkwing finds a mirror

Darkwing: (jumps around and waves) Hey Zor! Hey Zam! Come and get me!
Zam: (jumps up and down and points) Zap him! Zap him! Zap him!
Zor: All right already, don't get so touchy! (Pushes a button. A laser beam hits the mirror and the beam is flying all over the place)
Darkwing: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. (The Mallards try to duck the laser beams)
Mike: (turns around from where he is) Hey, what the heck is goin' on?! (doesn't realize a laser beam is heading straight for him)
Reggie: (looks) MIKE WATCH OUT!
Mike: (confused) Huh? (Beam hits him and he falls to the ground, a bit singed)
Reggie: (shocked) No! (Takes out a baseball bat and hits the next beam) This one's for Mike!

Beam flies for Zor and Zam's ship and hits it with such force, it's blown back to their center of the galaxy

Scene 10- Somewhere Over the Galaxy
Zor and Zam land back on their planets and stare at each other

Zor: You know what, Zam? I don't think conqering the Earth was a good idea.
Zam: You're right, Zor. (Whips out a cannon) Let's just pick up where we left off.

Both Zor and Zam start hurtling objects at each other

Scene 11- Back On The Gray Earth
Mike is holding Jessica's hand and smiling warmly from his position on the ground. He's not hurt, but the blast did make him a bit tired

Reggie: (walks over) Hey Mike, you okay?
Mike: (nods) Yeah, just a little dizzy from the blast. (Stands up and shakes himself. Bends down and picks up Jessica) Let's go find someone. Maybe we can find a way to fix this without Zor and Zam.

The Mallards walk around until at last they spot the Monkees, the Warners, and the girls

Mike: (excited) Hey great! We found you!
Reggie: (excited as well) Great! Now, let's find a way to reverse all this?
Sarah: (dully) Who cares?
Davy: (dully as well) I don't.
Mike: (surprised) Hey, what's happened?
Yakko: (yawns. Flatly) We don't love.
Wakko: (is dully playing paddle ball) We don't hate.
Dot: (filing nails. Flatly) And we don't care.
Reggie: (shocked) You don't love? You don't care? You've got to love sometime! Everybody's got to! You've got to listen to me!

Song cue for "Listen People"

Reggie: Listen people to what I say
I say everybody's got to have their day
And don't you know that
Everybody's got to love somebody sometime
Everybody's got to win a heart
Everybody's got to love somebody sometime
When you do, I hope you never part
I once found love, found love just like you
But then he came, he might come to you
And don't you know that
Everybody's got to lose somebody sometime
But everybody can part
Everybody's got to lose somebody sometime
So take care that you don't lose your heart

Take my advice and you'll always find
You'll be happy all of the time
Take my advice and you will see
You'll be happy as you can be

Listen people to what I say
I say everybody's got to have their day
And don't you know that
Everybody's got to love somebody sometime
Everybody's got to win a heart
Everybody's got to love somebody sometime
When you do, I hope you never part
You never part

Listen people
Listen people

The Mallards look around and to their surprise, they see everything's been turned back to normal

Mike: (shocked) How the heck did that happen?!
Peter: I don't know, Michael. Maybe it was Reggie's song.
Phyllis: But what will happen to Zor and Zam?
Reggie: (laughs) They'll just start it all over again.

Song cue for "Zor and Zam" (reprise)

Reggie: The king of Zor, he called for war
And the king of Zam, he answered.
They fashioned their weapons one upon one
Ton upon ton, they called for war at the rise of the sun.

Out went the call to one and to all
That echoed and rolled like the thunder.
Trumpets and drums, roar upon roar
More upon more.
Rolling the call of "Come now to war."

Throughout the night they fashioned their might
With right on the side of the mighty.
They puzzled their minds plan upon plan
Man upon man
And at dying of dawn the great war began.
They met on the battlefield banner in hand.
They looked out across the vacant land.
And they counted the missing, one upon one,
None upon none.
The war it was over before it begun.

Two little kings playing a game.
They gave a war and nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.