Dear Ana,
Sorry I haven't written in a few weeks, but things have been very busy
around here. We have had quite a few gigs lately and while it's still
small time, it's better than not working at all.
Other than that, things are pretty much the same around here. Peter is
contemplating if he has a future with Miranda (I don't think he does,
she's really not his type), Davy is upset that he hasn't had a date in
two weeks (he shouldn't do that, things would be better if he would just
relax), and Micky is, well, Micky is still Micky. No other explanation
needed on that.
As for me, if I had known being in love would be so wonderful, I would
have done it years ago. I did, but you know how that turned out. This
time is much better. I played your tape for Ellen, but I turned it off
before you got to the part about Jennifer. I still haven't told her about
that. I don't know, so for now, I'll just leave the past alone.
I have to go for now, I have to meet Ellen for dinner.
The next day...
Dinner went great last night. I even remembered that
it was our six week anniversary. Somehow it seems longer. I mean that
in a good way. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish I had met
her earlier. I know what you would say, that everything happens when it's
supposed to and this is where I'm should be at in my life so just be happy
about it. I guess your next question would be if I'm happy. Yes, I'm happy,
more so than I have been in a long time. I didn't think it was possible.
Ellen is doing a commercial. It's not much, but it's a start. Joey Palmer,
her agent, got the job for her. I don't mind telling you I don't like
him and I don't think he likes me much, either. I tolerate him for Ellen,
but there are times when I don't think she likes him very much, either.
She's never said so, but I suspect there is something she is not telling
me. I haven't asked her about it, if she wants me to know, she'll tell
me. Maybe Joey sees me as a rival, but I don't think I have anything to
worry about. I trust Ellen and I know she wouldn't cheat on me.
I have to go, we have a rehearsal and then Ellen and I are going to the
movies. Please tell my mother that I'm fine and I will call her soon.
Try to stay out of trouble, at least until I can be there to bail you
out like I have too many times before. At least you have Will. He sounds
like a real nice guy and I'm happy you found him. Looks like things are
looking up for both of us. Maybe I can visit soon. I'm getting a bit homesick
and I want you to meet Ellen. Someday.
Mike
Two weeks later...
Dear Ana,
Got your letter yesterday and it's nice to see you've reverted to paper
again. Those tapes are too much of a hassle.
I have to make this quick, I have to take Ellen to the doctor because
she's sick. I hope it's nothing too serious. At least she got the commercial
done, but now she's working on a new play and she might lose the job because
she's sick.
She asked me about my father today. I haven't thought about him in a long
time. It doesn't do me any good to think about him, I can't change the
past. He probably never thinks about me, so why should I waste my time
thinking about him? I don't remember him very well, anyway. I was only
five when he and Mom split. Sometimes I think that maybe if me and Mom
hadn't moved away then maybe I would have gotten to see him sometimes.
Of course, if we hadn't moved to Dallas, I would have never met you and
I probably would have had a very boring childhood. I guess it all worked
out for the best, but it would have been nice to have father around.
I have to go now, time to take Ellen to the doctor. I hope it's nothing
too serious.
A few hours later...
It's somewhat serious, or so Dr. Cole says. She has
the flu, very bad. I told her I would take care of her so until she gets
better, she's moving in. Babbit will probably have a fit, but I don't
care. Ellen needs me and I'm not going to let her down.
Two days later...
I was right about Babbit, he says we're violating our
lease by having Ellen stay with us. He says we have to pay more rent or
move out. I didn't think he would be so bad. After all, we've been paying
the rent on time now. I guess he's just one of those types of people who
have to complain about something.
The next day...
Ellen is doing much better. Her fever broke last night
and she ate a little bit. A few more days and she should be able to go
home. That should make Babbit happy.
Maybe the stress is getting to me, but something's not right with Ellen.
Maybe it's just because she's sick, but sometimes she acts like she thinks
I don't love her. She hasn't said anything, but I can see it in her eyes.
She doubts my love. After all I've done for her, how could she doubt me?
I've spent the last three days taking care of her, making sure she takes
her medicine and gets plenty of sleep. Hell, I haven't slept much for
worrying about her. I love her, Ana. I have since the first day I met
her. How can she doubt that?
Maybe if I had told her that I love her, it would be better. Two months
and I've never once told her that I love her. Dumb ass me.
I guess I better go. It's time I had a long talk with Ellen. I'll let
you know how it goes.
Mike
Mike put down his pen and looked over the letter. Telling Ana about it
was one thing, but actually doing it was another. He wasn't exactly sure
how to go about it. He decided to go for a walk on the beach. It would
give him time to think about what to say to Ellen.
"I should have told her a long time ago," he said, not caring if anybody
heard him. "I should have told her that first night." He had loved her
already then, had since the beginning. There had been something there
the first time he had heard her voice on the phone. In the beginning,
he was drawn to her because he felt she needed his help. Then he had spent
time with her, gotten to know her and loved her. There had been other
girls, but none had ever made him feel the way he did when he was with
Ellen.
There was something familiar about the whole thing, as if it had all
happened before. He didn't question the feeling, just let it happen, knowing
that all would be revealed when the time was right. _I've been hanging
around with Ana too long,_ he thought. _If I told her what was going on,
she would tell me we were Antony and Cleopatra or some such nonsense as
that._
He didn't know why he hadn't told Ellen yet that he loved her. Maybe
it was because he had never really loved another girl the way he loved
Ellen. It was all so new to him. He didn't want to lose her like he had
lost Jennifer. He had loved her and she had left.
He remembered back to a few weeks before when he and Ellen had gone for
a walk on the beach after they had gone to the movies. It had been a beautiful
night and they were the only couple on the beach. He had been talking
about something, probably the movie or maybe a new song when she said,
"I love you." He wanted to tell her that he loved her too, but he had
kissed her instead. She hadn't said it again. He knew he had hurt her
by not saying it. He had to tell her now and he hoped it wasn't too late.
Meanwhile back at the pad....
It was Peter's turn to take care of Ellen that afternoon because he was
the only one home when it was time for her medicine. He didn't mind, he
liked Ellen very much. "Hi," he said. "How are you feeling today?"
"Much better," Ellen said. "Where's Mike?"
"Uh, he had some stuff to do today," Peter said. "I think he was going
to get some groceries and mail a letter to Ana. He was writing to her."
"They're very close, aren't they?"
"I guess so, I've never met her. I know they've been friends for a long
time. I guess that counts for something."
"Do you think it's more than that?" she asked. It had been something
she had wanted to ask for a long time, but had never quite gotten up the
courage to do so.
Peter didn't hesitate in answering her. "They're just friends. It's you
he loves."
"He's never said so."
"But surely you can tell by how he treats you. He's taken care of you
these last few days. He's hardly slept at all for worrying. You're very
important to him."
"He's not here now," Ellen said, her voice very sad. "And he's never
said that he loves me."
The way she sounded and the look in her eyes made Peter want to cry.
He knew how important Ellen was to Mike. He hoped she would realize that.
He knew he had to tell Mike, but he didn't know where he was. He decided
to check the beach and hope he was there. It only took him a few minutes
to find him. "Hey, Mike," he said. "I need to talk to you."
"What about?" Mike asked.
"Have you talked to Ellen today?"
"No, why?"
"I just talked to her and I think she's mad at you or something."
"What did she say?" Mike asked, although he was pretty sure he already
knew.
Peter told Mike what Ellen had told him, including that she seemed to
be jealous of Ana.
"Thanks, Pete," Mike said when Peter was finished. "I guess I best go
talk to her." He went back to the house to talk to Ellen. He knocked on
her door.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"It's me," he said. "May I come in? I need to talk to you."
"Okay," she said.
He opened the door and stepped inside. He sat down in a chair next to
the bed. "I, uh, I've been thinking about us and I have something I need
to tell you. I should have told you this a long time ago, but I guess
I was kinda scared or something."
_Here it comes,_ she thought. _This is the end._ "I think I know what
you're going to say and I understand. We had some nice times together
and I'm sure you and Ana will be happy."
"That's not what I was going to say," he said. He took her hand in his.
"Ana is just a friend, that's all, nothing more. She's like a sister to
me. I don't think I've ever done anything to make it seem anything but
that."
"Is that what you came to tell me?" she asked.
"No, that's not it. I came to tell you that these last two months, except
perhaps this last week, have been wonderful. I should have told her this
sooner. I love you, Ellen. I have since the first day I met you. I'm sorry
I didn't tell you ealier."
She didn't say anything, just smiled at him, relieved that it hadn't
been what she expected. "I love you, too," she said. "There's something
I've been wanting to tell you for a long time, too. When we met, that
wasn't all acting. I was feeling a bit down, but you should me that everything
was going to be okay and that there are still people who care. Sometimes
I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't met you."
"I don't know, he said. "And I don't want to know. Things would have
been pretty boring these last few months, I do know that much." He kissed
her softly on the cheek. "One thing I do know is that this is what's supposed
to happen, this is where we belong right now."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I've been listening to Ana too much and it also means I won't
give you any reason to doubt me anymore."
The next day...
Dear Ana,
I had that talk with Ellen and everything turned out great. I'm ready
to put the past behind me. My future is with Ellen.
End
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