_She isn't home,_ he sighed unhappily as no answer was forthcoming. He pushed off to take his leave when he heard the click of the lock being undone.

"Yes, I... Adam?"

"Hi, Tanya," he greeted her sheepishly. He caught the once over she had give him. He must have looked like a wreck with his hair hanging limply about his face and his t-shirt all but transparent, soaked with sweat. "May I come in?"

"Sure. Sit down, and I'll get you a towel." Adam knew his way around and headed into the living room. Tanya's apartment was blessedly cool--almost cold, fact, and he found himself shivering. Tanya returned a moment later with a towel and a glass of water.

"Thanks." Adam toweled off then sat twisting the thick material in his hands. Tanya sat down next to him, waiting.

_Talk to her!_ Adam urged himself; it was the reason he had come--wasn't it?

"How are you feeling? The guys told me you'd been sick at the Youth Center; are you okay?"

_No, I'm not okay, but I don't know what to do about it any longer._ "Yeah, I'm feeling a little better now."

"Was there any particular reason why you stopped by?"

"I... I just couldn't stand being by myself any longer," Adam admitted in a rush. He was startled to find his heart pounding and his hands shaking as he made that simple little confession. Tanya's eyebrows were raised in surprised, but she said nothing. He was relieved to have said just that much, and felt brave enough to venture a little more. "Tanya, I want your help, but I don't know if I can...."

"Adam, honey, it's all right. You know you can tell me or ask me anything," she placed her hand over Adam's. "I want to help--if you'll let me."

"I want to... I really do. I just don't know how to begin...."

"Why don't you let me begin?"

"I don't understand."

"Did Kimberly talk to you?" Tanya queried.

Adam was stunned. Surely Kim wouldn't have told Tanya about.... "How... ?"

"Kim and I talked after what happened at the Youth Center. She told me a little bit about what happened... that you and Tommy were sexually tortured."

Adam nearly had heart failure when Tanya said that Kim had told her, but he was immensely surprised and relieved to know that she hadn't given out the full details. If Tanya was to find out, he wanted to be the one to tell her. He owed her that much.

"Don't be angry with her for telling me," Tanya hastened to say, misinterpreting Adam's sudden tensing. "I'm glad she did. I was just so scared because I didn't know what was going on, and I was hurt that she knew and I didn't, but I know why now. When we talked, she said that she had to talk to you and wondered if it would be okay by me. I told her she could do whatever she felt she needed to... she seemed so desperate to help you. I thought she would have had her hands full with Tommy, but she was so determined... like she had to do it. I don't know--it just doesn't make sense to me."

It did to Adam--plenty. He now knew why Kim was so insistent and why she went to the lengths she did: gratitude. She was trying to repay him for saving Tommy's life by trying to undo what she thought Tommy had done to him. Adam smiled sadly and shook his head. "Kim stopped by shortly before I came here."

"Was she able to help some?"

"A little. I think her visit helped me make up my mind to come here." Adam knew he should tell Tanya about what happened with Kim, but then he'd have to explain why it was necessary and... the fear and nervousness gripped him again, silencing him. He felt like crying--he had come so close. Tanya sensed his retreat, too. Adam could almost feel her frustration. "Damn," he muttered. He got up to pace. It wasn't fair! This was the woman he loved, so why was he so afraid of opening up to her? _Because you're afraid you'll lose her if you tell her._

"Take it easy, Adam," Tanya advised, vacating her seat to come and collect him, guiding him back onto the couch. "You've gone through a pretty horrible experience, and it's going to take some time for you to get past it."

_That's just it--it wasn't horrible._

"You'll tell me the details when you're ready; at least I know what's going on now; I'm not scared any longer. The main thing is, I'm here for you, Adam; I'll do whatever it takes to get you through this, and we _will_ get through it--together."

"Tanya, could you just hold me for a little while?"

"Of course."

Tanya folder her arms around his body, pulling him close. Adam hugged her tightly, trying to draw strength from her. He found her embrace even stronger and more comforting than Kim's, and he felt that same sense of a weight lifting from his shoulders as he took refuge from his confusion in her arms. It seemed like such a simple thing to bring him such peace--even if only for a moment. With a sigh, Adam buried his face in the side of her neck, and a few quiet tears trickled free. They sat wrapped in each other's arms for several long minutes, then Tanya slowly eased them both back until she rested on the arm of the couch and Adam's head was pillowed on her chest.

Many a time had Adam cuddled with her like that on the couch, Tanya's head resting comfortably on his chest. On more than one occasion, they had fallen asleep like that, only to wake up hours later with horrendous backaches, but Adam never minded. This was the first time that he could recall Tanya cradling him so. She held him close. A hand drifted up to stroke his hair. There was something soothing about listening to the steady rhythm of her heart and feeling her chest rising and falling with every breath. He felt Tanya's lips brush the top of his head, and he looked up at her with a grateful smile. This was what he was needing. No questions, just acceptance. Tanya dipped her head lower; he raised up until their mouths met.

Suddenly, something inside Adam seemed to snap. It was as if his emotional dam had broken and all his feelings came pouring out in that kiss. He held Tanya tighter--almost painfully so, and his mouth savaged hers with an intensity he had never known before. For a moment, he sensed Tanya's surprise, her urge to pull away, but he couldn't let her go. However, he felt her begin to relax, to respond, and it was his turn to be startled as her tongue invaded his mouth; matching the strength of his need with her own.

_Please, Tanya... I need this so badly. I need to know what it's like to love you. I need you to make me forget Tommy...._

"No!" Adam broke the kiss abruptly. He was dry mouthed and gasping for air. No, he couldn't do it--not for that reason. He wanted to make love to Tanya because he loved her, not because he wanted to forget the things Tommy had done to him.

"Adam, what's wrong? Don't you want...?"

"More than I can say, but... it's not right...."

"Why isn't it right?"

"Because... because I want you to make me forget... and that's not right!" he gasped. "It's for the wrong reason... It's not fair to you."

"What's not fair to me is you making my decisions for me," Tanya chided him. "What if I want to do this for that very reason? What if I want to make you forget the bad things that were done to you?"

Adam hadn't considered that. "I just wanted our first time to be... special, because we love each other."

Tanya smiled and stroked his cheek. "Adam, do you love me?"

"Yes."

"I love you, too, and I want to do this because I love you and want to help you. If sharing my body with you will help you, then please, let me help."

Adam stared deep into Tanya dark brown eyes, and he felt his resistence crumble. "Help me, Tanya. Please."

Her answer was in her smile, in the way her fingers stroked his cheek and brushed across his lips. She drew him to her and kissed him softly, and Adam gave himself over to her completely. Upon breaking the kiss, Tanya pushed him back slightly, and she came up with him. Her fingers wandered through his hair, over his face once more, and trailed down his neck and shoulders to glide toward his white tank. Her hands wandered acrossed the contours of his muscles, the flat of his abs then back up again until her fingers discovered the tiny protrusions of his nipples. He didn't even attempt to suppress the groan that welled up within him as she touched him. Tanya's face lit up with unexpected delight, and she began tugging his shirt up over his head, stripping him to the waist.

It wasn't as if Tanya had never seen him without a shirt before, but somehow this was different. This time, she was able to explore to their mutual content. Adam had to admit to feeling a bit nervous as Tanya brushed an questing finger over the few wisps of hair curling around the perimeter of his areola. She seemed charmed by what she was seeing and feeling; her eyes fairly sparkled. Adam wondered if he should be reciprocating, but he was afraid to do anything lest he destroy the mood. Tanya pressed herself forward, pushing Adam back until he was laying against the opposite arm of the couch, and she hovered over him, her face aglow with affection and desire.

Then, she started with his mouth--a fleeting kiss, a flick of the tongue. Her mouth moved down the curve of his jaw to his neck. His grip on the couch tightened as she made her way inexorably to The Spot (as he was starting to call it), his body aquiver in anticipation of fiery flash of pleasure her mouth on his neck would bring him. She didn't disappoint, and Adam felt himself eagerly thrusting against her body and whimpering with delight. His display of need encouraged Tanya, and she continued with her southward exploration of his body. Lower and lower her lips wandered until Adam cried out with the joy of feeling her tongue swirling around his nipples. Her mouth and tongue were as wonderful as Kim's--or Tommy's. As she drove him to distraction with her mouth, her hands continued drifting down his abdomen until they skimmed across the hardness in his shorts.

"My goodness," Tanya murmured, giggling a bit, her hand massaging his throbbing erection. Adam was willing to swear that she was anxious as he was for her to further explore his cock, but maddeningly, she took her time kissing her way down the ripple of muscle, circling her tongue around his navel, then nipping her way across the thin cotton of his boxers. Tanya eased the shorts down his hips, and she squealed with delight when she realized that they were the only things he had on.

"Why, Adam Park...!" she teased gently; whatever else she was going to say was lost as she let her widened eyes roam over his naked body. If Adam had thought he was nervous when she took off his shirt, his experienced infinitely worse anxiety as she fully looked him over. He knew he wasn't as long as Tommy or as thick as Jason or Billy; he hoped he didn't disappoint her. Finally Tanya glanced up so that he could see her eyes; both they, and her smile, were aglow with an inner warmth. "You are so beautiful...."

Adam felt himself blushing. "You think so?"

"As beautiful outside as you are inside," Tanya assured him. She slid a leading finger down from his belly button to the curls that surrounded his cock then softly stroked the length of his organ.

Adam nearly lost it. Her hands were so awesome...! Where Tommy's (_why are you thinking about him now?_) touch had been firm and knowing, Tanya's was so light that he almost wasn't sure she had actually touched him, and inquisitive.... He closed his eyes and tried to stifle a groan as her fingers gently explored the soft contours of the head, the pulsating hardness of the shaft, and finally the weighty bulge of his sac. His cock twitched eagerly in her grasp, demanding more attention, and Adam couldn't hold still as she caressed him. Tanya, seemingly, was gauging his every response for if her whispery touches made him react, she repeated the touch drawing an even fuller moan from him.

_Please, Tanya..._ he begged silently. He wanted to ask to her to do things to him--he couldn't even begin to imagine exactly what he wanted--but he didn't have the words. All that came out was a needy whimper.

"Hush," Tanya chided him gently, laying a finger across his lips. Impulsively he kissed it, which produced a smile of surprise. Then, for a moment, Tanya looked uncertain, and Adam realized that for all her seeming expertise, this was her first time. She didn't know what to do any more than he did (his experience with Tommy notwithstanding). Still, Adam was helpless to do anything but follow her lead as her fingers slid along the softness of his inner thighs. Again, Tanya paused. Adam cast his pleading gaze up at her as she knelt between his legs, studying him thoughtfully.

_"...please use your mouth... just for a little bit?"_ Tommy's words to him came back unbidden. He remembered Tommy's reaction to the abbreviated blow job he had attempted--he had never seen such a look of joy on a person's face before--and he keenly recalled his disappointment when Tommy didn't reciprocate. He ached to know what that was like, but again words failed him. However, he didn't have long to wonder as Tanya bent over and gently fitted her mouth to his organ.

_OH MY GOD!_

Adam was incapable of a more articulate response as his senses went into overload--his mind seemed to have completely shut down. He had never experienced anything to compare with the sensation of having his cock engulfed in the warm wetness of Tanya's mouth. Her lips and tongue were so soft as they slowly tested and tasted him. He moaned in delight then whimpered with despair as her mouth retreated. It was all he could do to keep from thrusting himself back into her. However, he did not suffer long as suddenly the equisite wetness returned. As Tommy had with him, Adam found himself reaching for Tanya's head.

Tanya took her time with her oral explorations, teasing him almost cruelly with anticipation one moment then gratifying him beyond his expectations the next. Her efforts were as awkward as his had been, but the pleasure they brought oblivated her inexperience. Each moment, each lick brought new sensations that had Adam writhing on the couch in absolute ecstasy. He could feel the fire of his need rising high and surging forward. If Tanya kept up her steady pace, it wouldn't be long before he climaxed. He had to warn her somehow, but speech was beyond him. Still, something must have communicated his nearness to her for she abandoned the blow job and sat back regarding him.

Adam was gasping for breath, his body aquiver with all that she had stirred within him. He looke dup at her with love and longing in his eyes. He found it a little strange to be laying there before her, his desire and need as naked as his body. He had to do or say something.

"That was...." he gulped; it was all he could manage, to his chagrin. He wanted to take her in his arms. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her. He wanted desperately to return the favor. Yet, all he could do was lay there looking at her with her looking at him. It was as if she held him immobile with her gaze. Tanya smiled slowly--Adam had never seen her smile look so sexy. Then, very delibertately, she gripped the hem of her thin sleep tee and stripped it over her head, revealing that she, too, had been completely naked beneath her garment.

"Oh wow...!" Adam sighed. He had known that Tanya would be exquisite, but he found words weren't enough to describe just how beautiful she was. Adam drank in the sight of her--from her full, rounded breasts to the smooth plain of her abdomen, the curve of her hips and the black curls nestled between her legs... and the briefest glimpse of the swell of her buttocks.... "Tanya, I...." Adam wished he could tell her everything he was feeling at this moment, but the words wouldn't come.

"You don't have to say a thing, hon; I can see it in your eyes," Tanya murmured. She slowly eased herself across Adam's sweat-dampened body. He shuddered with the absolute wonderfulness of the skin on skin contact as his arms closed around her.

He ran his hand down the arc of her spine and slowly over the curve of her bottom, scarcely daring to believe that she was really naked in his arms. She was softer than he imagined. Then, she eased herself up until she straddled his hips. Adam simply stared at her in amazement; her dark beauty was breathtaking. His eyes traveled the length of her body, trying to take it all in, but he found himself completely captivated by her breasts, his gaze settling on their fullness. He had known their softness in moments of seeking comfort. He had glimpsed their hardness in moments of excitement. This was the first that he seen their true, unadorned beauty. When he realized that Tanya knew what had so occupied his attention, he blushed. There was more to her than simply her breasts, but he couldn't help himself; however her smile seemed to tell him that she understood.

"May I...?" he asked nervously, finally finding his voice. She nodded her permission. Adam's fingers gently brushed the delightful curve of her breast as he cupped it with the same reverent awe he had Kimberly's. _So similar yet so different,_ he mused as his fingers sought to know her sensitive nipples as hers had known his. Adam couldn't even begin to describe the emotions swelling in him when Tanya sighed as he teased her nipple. He brought his left hand up to explore her right breast, his thumb brushing her taut protrusion; the sensation made Tanya squirm on his lap--which suddenly made Adam aware of just where Tanya was sitting. His eyes went wide as he glanced down to confirm that his erection was nestled between the warm, wet folds between Tanya's legs and was tickled by the thick black curls covering her womanhood.

"Tanya," he gulped anxiously.

"It's all right, Adam," Tanya assured him. "Is there something else you'd like to do?"

Adam's mouth watered with his desire to taste Tanya's breasts... to see for himself what it would be like to tease those tantilizingly erect tips... there was just something so enticing about them--so soft and yet hard too.... Tanya must have read the longing in his eyes, for she reached down and, cradling the back of his neck, pulled him to her bosom, guiding him to one of her full mounds. For a moment, Adam's mind went blank. What to do? Then he thought of Tommy's mouth--and Tanya's--on his nipples, and gave himself over to eagerly lapping at her sweet softness. Tanya uttered a full-bodied sigh as Adam set himself to pleasuring her. Nothing else seemed to matter (not even the fact that his cock had slipped deeper between her legs and she was shifting her hips to accomodate him more fully) but Tanya's moans. He felt Tanya press him deeper into her chest, guiding him by the handful of hair she had gathered. Adam contentedly nuzzled the fullness of her breasts, placing gentle kisses wherever he could reach. Oh, there was so much more he wanted to do... so much more of Tanya he longed to explore. However, by the same handful of hair, she pulled him away; she stared deep into his eyes for a moment then needfully drew him into a passionate kiss. The force of her desire tumbled them both to the couch.

"I want you, Adam," she murmured thickly against his lips as she caught her breath. Adam wanted Tanya just as much, and he felt a familiar knot of nervousness tighten within himself; however, they had come too far to stop.

"Are you sure?" he stammered.

"More than anything."

"All right, I...." _I'm not sure I know what to do. Being with Tommy didn't prepare me for this!_ He could feel the nervousness growing.

"Calm down, Adam," Tanya said gently, sensing his panic by the change in his breathing. Adam felt very foolish, and his chagrin showed. "I don't know what to do any more than you do, but I think it's something like this...." Tanya leaned forward slightly then guided his still rampant cock into position. Then, she slowly lowered herself.

Adam felt himself shaking as his shaft disappeared into the depths of Tanya's body. _"... so hot... so tight... !"_ Tommy wasn't kidding... only Tanya was wet too. It was like being in her mouth only more so! Adam remembered the sensation of being opened and filled and wondered if it felt the same for Tanya as his shaft made its gradual entrance into her vagina. He tried not to be in too much of a rush as her body slowly allowed him in. He heard Tanya suck in a sudden breath, and Adam opened his eyes (it had been impossible to keep them open as he revelled in the exquisite sensations flooding through him) to see Tanya wince.

"What's wrong? Am I hurting you?" That was the last thing he wanted to do to her.

"It's all right," Tanya soothed him, the signs of discomfort fading from her expression. "It's a little strange, that's all. I've never had anything so large inside me before; it takes a bit of getting used to."

Adam could sympathize with that. "Just relax and we'll take our time," he said. Once the initial shock of penetration had faded, he knew she'd start to feel how good it could be.

"Silly boy, you're already all the way in. Didn't you know?"

"I am?" Adam had to look to make sure. Tanya obliged by raising her hips then settling back down on him again. It had seemed so easy... he expected--remembered--more resistence. "I guess I am," he said with an uncertain laugh.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing... it's just kind of overwhelming--y'know?"

"Yeah, I know."

The two remained still for a moment, enjoying the new sensations and trying to grasp the new level their relationship had attained. Then, desire took over. Bracing her hands on Adam's chest, Tanya began moving herself on his organ. Adam was fascinated as Tanya rode him; he wanted to do more but wasn't sure what, she seemed so in control of the moment. It was exciting to watch her emotions play across her face as she pleasured herself on him. Adam tried touching her, but his caresses were fleeting as he couldn't find a purchase. He attempted a few strokes, but that only seemed to interfere with her rhythm. Adam's frustration at his inability to do anything for Tanya was lost in the wonder he felt at the sounds of her enjoyment. Her moans kept getting deeper, and he could feel the muscles in her body tensing, and her thrusts became sharper. However, in spite of the fact that her orgasm was close, Tanya stopped.

"What...."

"I'm sorry, Adam; I got so wrapped up in how good it felt that I forgot about you," Tanya apologized.

"Don't be sorry. I don't mind. You looked like it felt pretty incredible."

"It did."

"You don't have to stop."

"I want to. I think it'd be a lot more fun if we were both participating. Why don't we change position?" Tanya suggested. To Adam's dismay, she climbed off him; however, she laid back against the opposite arm of the couch and gestured for Adam to come to her arms. Even as Adam did as she requested, he felt a little uneasy. For some reason, it seemed more natural for Tanya to be on top.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"You don't think that I'm just going lay here and let you fuck me, do you?" Tanya teased. "I have every intention of doing you while you're doing me."

"I love you," Adam murmured.

"I know."

Adam slipped back into the wonderful warmth of Tanya's womanhood and sighed with contentment.

"Go ahead. Give it a try," Tanya urged.

Adam attempted a couple of tentative strokes, smiling anxiously as he did so. It was awkward at first and a little overwhelming... a feeling he wasn't used to. However, Tanya patiently waited for him to find a rhythm. When he had, she matched it. The two rocked together in perfect harmony. The sensations washing over and growing within Adam defied description. He didn't even try, merely allowing himself to be swept along with the force building between their joined bodies. Soon, he could feel the need for release surging through him--so quickly, so close--Adam felt a joyous shout swirling up from the depths of his soul, and then....

_What about protection?_

The thought burst forth unbidden from the malestrom of recollections and feelings engulfing him at the moment. Adam hadn't even thought about a condom; he thought Tanya was on the pill, but it wouldn't be right to take chances. An echo of Tommy's disappointment resounded through his mind, and he felt it sharply.

"T-tanya, I gotta pull out...."

"What for?" Tanya gasped, and Adam had the sense that her own climax was close.

"No... condom...."

"Damn," she groaned in disappointment, but she knew he was right. She unlocked her legs and allowed him to pull out.

In spite of his chagrin, Adam was too close to deny himself release or to feel self-conscious about seeking it. However, to his amazement, he felt Tanya's hand join his. Swiftly, his orgasm hit, rocking his aching body and tortured soul and filling him a rush of joy and satisfaction. In the wake of his fiery release, he all but collapsed on Tanya. It took a moment for his senses to clear, and he realized that Tanya had not yet come. Her hand was busy stroking her sex. Adam knew he should do something for her; tentatively, he offered his own hand.

"Where...?" he asked puzzledly.

"There... my clit... that little knob...." she gasped. Yet even as he helped massage, he felt as if he should offer more. But what? _"Let's see how wet you are."_ Tommy had said that right before he started licking his ass... no Adam couldn't... not yet... but then he realized that Tommy had been thinking of Kim. Her ass wouldn't have been wet, so he must have been referring to.... Adam grinned, knowing what he could do to help Tanya.

"Will you let me try something?" he asked as he pulled her hand away.

"W-what?" she moaned, her voice raw with her need. Adam wasn't quite certain what he was doing, but it was worth a try. If he liked having his dick in Tanya's mouth, maybe she'd like having her clitoris in his. Tentatively, Adam parted the folds of skin, searching for the little button he had been rubbing. Tanya reached down to help him find it; she smiled encouragingly. Adam was rather nervous about the whole thing, but fair was fair. She had used her mouth, so he could use his. With that, he took a hesitant lick.

"Oh, Adam!" Tanya gushed, her body shuddering. Her reaction reassured Adam, and he took another lick. This time she thrust her hips forward, hitting him in the chin. He hadn't been prepared for the intensity of Tanya's response or for the taste--which he found curious but not unpleasant. Adam continued eating her out, gaining confidence with every stroke of the tongue. It wasn't long before Tanya's imminent orgasm hit; as she climaxed, she grabbed his hair and pressed him deeper between her legs. Adam was glad he hadn't had time to get his hair cut. He suddenly found his hands full of Tanya's round cheeks as he tried to ride out the storm of her release. It ended almost as quickly as it hit; Tanya's body unexpectedly went limp, and Adam was hard pressed not to collapse on top of her.

"Wow," he murmured--when she let him up for air--awed by her response. "Was that all right?"

"Adam, that was perfectly wonderful," Tanya answered warmly. "You did just fine."

"So did you," he assured her, giving her a gentle kiss.

"We'll remember the condom next time," she said as she wrapped her arms around him. Adam needed no further invitation and snuggled deeper in her embrace. Tanya's body was soft and warm, and he liked the way she smelled after having sex. He was perfectly content to drift off to sleep in her arms, only he felt like he shouldn't. Still, it was difficult keeping his eyes open. It had been such a long day....

"Mm, I could use a nap," Tanya sighed.

"You could?"

"Uh huh. I'm exhausted, and I'd figure you should be pretty wiped too."

"Well...." Adam admitted sheepishly.

"You worry too much, love." Tanya teased. "I know what you've gone through today. I hope I helped some."

"You have, Tanya. Trust me, you have." _But I haven't forgotten about Tommy, either._

As Adam was drifting off to sleep, he heard the little voice which had been unusually silent while he and Tanya made love.

_Okay, so you like girls, too. You're not exactly gay, but you're not exactly straight. So, what are you?_

Adam didn't know.

The phone rang, and Billy grabbed for it instead of letting the answering machine pick it up.

"Hello, Cranston residence."

"Hi, Billy. I'm glad it's you."

"What's up, Tommy? How are you doing?" He desperately wanted to ask Tommy about his departure from the Youth Center that afternoon, but he knew better than to press. It would only push Tommy away, and if he was reaching out....

"I'm sorry about this afternoon--thanks for bring Kim home, by the way. I guess I just wasn't prepared to face Adam."

"Tommy, you and Adam really need to talk about what happened."

"I know. I've left a message on his answering maching. I'm hoping to meet him at the park the day after tomorrow. I want to ask him about what happened.... I need to know what I...." Tommy's voice trailed off.

_You need to know what you've done, and won't accept Kim's word,_ Billy said to himself. "I'm glad to hear it." A pause followed, and Billy suspected there was something else Tommy wanted.

"Billy, I'm really worried about Adam."

_And I'm really concerned about you._ "What is it?"

"I think he's having the same sort of crisis you had back in high school."

Billy realized there must have been someone else in the room for Tommy to be so circumspect in his language. "If you haven't talked to him yet, how would you know?"

"Kim's talked to me some... and what she told me made sense, especially in light of what happened.... I plan to ask Adam about it, but Billy, if he is having those kind of problems... I don't think I can help him the way I helped you."

Billy could hear the pain in Tommy's voice, and the guilt. "If Adam is having that same sort of personal crisis, it isn't anything that you did." Silence greeted his words, and Billy sighed. "Would you like me to meet you guys in the park?"

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not." Actually, Billy had been expecting just such a request.

The sweltering heatwave hadn't broken, so Adam was almost completely drenched in sweat by the time he reached the clearing by the lake where Tommy requested they meet. He spied Tommy standing by the water idly skimming stones across the unusually placid surface.

"Hey, Tommy," Adam ventured hesitantly. He was really nervous about this meeting, especially since things had gone so horribly at the Youth Center the other day. He knew that he and Tommy needed to talk; he also knew it wasn't going to be easy. Adam observed that Tommy was dressed all in white from his loose pants (which just so happened to fit snugly in the seat) to his tank top. His clothes contrasted sharply with the bronze of his skin, which sported a light sheen of perspiration which made it appear as if he had been oiled up, giving his muscular arms and shoulders more definition. His hair was pulled back in a severe ponytail. Adam swallowed hard. He had wondered if Tommy would have any sort of effect on him; he should have known better than to hope that a single night with Tanya would have taken care of his dilemma.

"Hey, Adam. Glad you could make it," Tommy murmured. He turned his head slightly to acknowledge Adam's presence, and Adam could see that Tommy appeared to be as anxious as he felt. "You mind if we walk for a bit?"

"No problem."

The two stepped off in silence. Tommy kept his eyes trained on the ground and his hands buried deep in his pockets. Adam wished Tommy would say something; the quiet was beginning to grate on his nerves.

"How are you holding up?" Tommy ventured at last. "All right, I guess," Adam murmured. "What about you?"

"Same here."

_Yeah, right, and we both know we're lying through our teeth_. Adam was getting frustrated. Idle chit chat wouldn't get them anywhere. He wondered if maybe he should take the initiative and get the conversation started, but he didn't know if he should. He knew Tommy probably wanted to talk about what happened between them--Tanya had mentioned that Tommy claimed to have no memories of what happened after Nikkolo's last visit to their cell, which Adam could readily believe. If Tommy had been delirious enough to believe that he had been Kim... Adam didn't mind telling Tommy about what had happened; he was just afraid that Tommy would ask about his other problems.

"How's Tanya holding up?" Tommy queried unexpectedly. "She's handling things a lot better now." Adam suddenly felt a lump in his throat. He knew he should ask about Kimberly; when she had left, she looked so miserable, but he was almost scared to. How much did Tommy know about her visit to him? Still, not to ask would be as damning as asking. Adam took a deep breath. "How's Kim?"

"She's hanging in there."

_Better get this over with._ "Did you--um--know that she came to see me?"

"Yeah, she told me."

"All of it?"

"Yes."

"God, Tommy, I'm sorry... I knew I shouldn't have, but...." Adam fumbled, his guilt getting the better of him.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Adam. Kim was only trying to help," Tommy assured him, but Adam felt anything but reassured. "I guess it didn't go very well, did it? She was pretty upset when she got back from seeing you."

"I didn't mean for that to happen. I appreciated what she was trying to do and all; it was just that...." Adam sighed and shrugged. The conversation had turned to waters he really didn't want to tread.

"I told her she might not be able to help," Tommy continued, "but she thinks that she's only made things worse."

"Nothing she could have done would have made things any worse than they already were," Adam snorted wryly. "Kim has helped me and Tanya more than she knows. She's been so great with Tanya--talking to her and helping her through all this stuff, and her visit was the reason I went to see Tanya the other night." Adam couldn't resist the small grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth as he thought of their love making. That had been the most phenomenal evening of his life!

"I take it things went well?" Tommy asked; there was a knowing lift to his voice that had Adam squirming self-consciously.

"Yeah."

Tommy flashed him a brilliant grin. "Did you and Tanya finally...?"

"Uh huh." Adam felt the heat of the blush in his cheeks.

"I'm happy for you guys--really. Kim will be, too; that is, if you don't mind me telling her."

Adam laughed in disbelief. Why should he mind Kim knowing he and Tanya had been intimate? After all, she knew about him and Tommy, she had held him while he had been naked and in tears... she had let him feel her up....

"Were you able to tell Tanya what happened?" Tommy wondered.

Adam's amusement vanished, and he crestfallenly kicked at a rock in the path. He couldn't even look at Tommy as he answered, "No."

"Adam...."

"What about you? Have you talked to Kim?" Adam snapped.

"A little...." Tommy ventured.

Adam stopped walking and turned to glare at Tommy. Why wouldn't Tommy have talked to Kim? She had seen everything, for pity's sake! She already knew why Tommy had sex with him. What could Tommy possibly have to hide from her? None of it was his fault! Yet, looking in Tommy's eyes, Adam glimpsed a deeper pain, and then it was gone. Tommy had hidden it away again--from both of them. Adam's anger faded. There was something bothering Tommy that was as personal and painful as his own self-doubts.

"I want to, Tommy; I do," Adam conceded with a sigh. "I know I have to, but how do I tell my girlfriend--my lover--that I...." The words jammed up in his throat. For a moment, neither of them could speak.

"Adam, what did I do to you?" Tommy asked finally, shuddering with dread; his voice was scarcely above a whisper, and the agony in it was so raw Adam could almost feel it.. "I pretty much remember everything up to the point where I tackled Nikkolo, but after that.... Did I... rape you?"

Adam could tell that Tommy was practically sick with the fear that he had hurt him. Tommy might not be able to help him resolve his difficulties, but he could offer Tommy help with at least one of his. Adam clasped Tommy's arms and forced Tommy to meet his eyes.

"No, you didn't."

"But... if I didn't, then how did I survive?" Tommy asked, "I had to have sex with somebody, so if not you...?"

"You had sex with me, but I don't consider that you raped me."

"If I had sex with you when you didn't want me to, that's rape," Tommy insisted.

"Listen, Tommy, you fought the poison as long as you could--longer than Nikkolo expected you to. You were this close to dying because you didn't want to hurt me," Adam explained impassionedly. He had to get through to his stubborn, guilt-ridden friend somehow. Tommy was just as much a victim as he was. "Maybe I didn't really want you to sodomize me, but I wanted you to die even less. It was my choice, Tommy. I let you take' me; hell, I had to talk you into it!"

"You did?

"Yes. I--um--had to trick you into thinking I was Kimberly," Adam admitted sheepishly. He let out a long, slow breath. "You wouldn't have touched me otherwise."

"God, Adam, I'm sorry...."

"You have nothing to be sorry for!" Adam claimed, at the limits of his patience with Tommy. "If you hadn't pulled Urgul off me, I would have been the one to be raped and injected with that stupid spore. You spared me that; letting you do me was the least I could...." Adam's voice trailed off as he saw Tommy wince when he mentioned the rape. Was that what was bothering Tommy--that he'd been raped, combined with the guilt he felt for what he thought he had done to him...? Adam's heart went out to his friend; at least his own problems came from within--something that had been plaguing him for a long time and that he should have resolved long ago.

"Look, Tommy, we both did what we had to; neither one of us really had a choice," Adam said quietly. "And, when you took me... it wasn't really all that bad." Adam closed his eyes and sighed; his voice deepened, becoming whispery as he continued. "You were so considerate of Kim--of me. Even in your madness you picked up on my nervousness; you tried to be gentle, and you tried to make it good for her--for me. In fact, until the other night with Tanya, your making love to me was the most awesome...." Adam suddenly realized that he had said far more than he had intended. His pulse was racing and his breath had quickened as the memories washed over him. He noted that Tommy was looking at him intently. Adam blushed and hated himself for giving so much away. He rushed through the rest of what he had planned to say. "If it wasn't for the fact that you thought I was Kim, I doubted I could have gotten you to pull out when you came and break the cycle of infection."

"I wondered how you had escaped being infected," Tommy murmured softly. An awkward pause followed. "I'm glad that I tried to take it easy on you... I didn't want to hurt you... but, the fact that it was good is causing some problems, isn't it?"

Tommy had it exactly, and Adam felt like crying. It was as if his soul had been laid bare. Adam couldn't look at Tommy--couldn't bear to see the knowledge in his eyes.

"The other day... at the Youth Center... when I saw the fear in your eyes... I thought you were afraid of me because I had violated you, but that wasn't it, was it? You were afraid because of what you thought you felt...."

_Stop it, please!_ Adam begged silently, unable to take it any more. What did Tommy want? Did he want him to admit that he was attracted to him? If he could see his inner turmoil, couldn't he see the obvious?

"It's all right," Tommy murmured, placing a comforting hand on Adam's shoulder.

_It's not all right,_ he wanted to shout; however, he kept his eyes trained on the ground.

"I can see how what happened could make you doubt yourself," Tommy continued. Why wouldn't Tommy let him alone? So he'd figured out what was wrong--couldn't he tell he didn't want to talk about it?

"These doubts you're having--the attraction you think you feel for me--could they just be leftover frustrations from the fact that I did you but you didn't get to do anyting in return, or do you really think that you're bisexual?"

Adam's head shot up. He couldn't believe Tommy had just asked that! However, his flash of indignation fizzled quickly. How could he be angry with Tommy when that was the same question the voice had been asking him--that he had been asking himself for all these years? Adam felt the defensiveness drain out of him; he just couldn't fight this any longer.

"I don't know," he confessed, his voice filled with his anguish. He hung his head so Tommy wouldn't see the tears gathering in his eyes. It was bad enough that Tommy had figured things out... he didn't want to cry in front of him, too.

"I kind of thought that might be the case," Tommy said gently. "Believe it or not, I understand."

_How could you possibly understand what I'm going through? Have you ever wondered about whether you were gay or not?_ Adam felt himself shaking, and to his annoyance and embarrassment, he knew Tommy felt it too.

"You're my friend, Adam, and I want to help you, but... God help me, I don't think I can--not this time."

Adam was stunned by Tommy's words--their content as well as their tone. Tommy looked so despondent and sounded as if it had hurt him to make that admission. Adam was confused. How did Tommy think that he could help him? What did he mean by "this time"?

"There's someone else I think you need to talk to about this." Tommy had told someone else about him? It was bad enough that he and Kimberly were aware of his problem. How could Tommy have told another person without asking him first...?

"Hey, Tommy. Hey, Adam."

"Billy?" Adam gulped, whirling to see Billy heading down the path towards them. He was at once relieved and upset. Why would Tommy have told Billy about what happened? Tommy had known Billy for a long time, but Adam hadn't thought them especially close. Telling Billy about his problems would mean letting Billy know about his own--Billy was too intelligent not to pick up on them. If Tommy wasn't able to talk to Kimberly, he wasn't as okay as he wanted people to think. As for himself, he had always been able to go to Billy when he had troubles--Billy always seemed to understand-- but he wasn't sure he could tell Billy about this.

While his mind was still in a whirl, Adam observed his two friends. Strangely, neither had spoken except for the greeting, and yet they seemed to be taking each other's measure. There was a question in Billy's eyes; Tommy answered it with a nod. Adam felt so left out.

"What about you?" Billy asked of Tommy. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay."

Tommy's voice sounded tired, even to Adam. It was all Adam could do to hold his tongue; he wanted to tell Billy that Tommy wasn't all right, that Tommy was as troubled as he was. Again, there was an extended silence between the pair, and Billy stared deeply into Tommy's eyes. There was a sort of intimacy in the way he was doing it that struck Adam as unusual; it reminded Adam of how he sometimes communicated with Tanya. Then, Billy spoke.

"Bull."

Adam couldn't believe his ears. Had Billy really said that? It was so unlike him... and apparently Tommy thought so too because even he looked startled.

"I'll be talking to you when Adam and I are finished here."

Tommy opened his mouth as if to argue, but Billy's stern expression drained the fight right out of him. "All right," Tommy acquiesed. "Good luck. Hang in there, Adam; you're in good hands."

"T-thanks."

Tommy started off down the path, walking as if there was a great weight pressing down on him, and Adam didn't like the tightness he saw in his back--it reminded him too much of his own tension. It disturbed him to see Tommy like this; normally, Tommy wasn't one to bottle things up inside. Apparently, Billy didn't like what he was seeing either; a quick look at Billy's expression rocked Adam. He had never seen Billy's emotions so naked in his expression before. Adam glimpsed his frustration, sadness, sympathy, and something else which he couldn't quite identify.

"It's not just what he did to me, is it?" Adam queried.

"No, Tommy's merely obsessing on that because he is unable to deal with what happened to him. He can't accept the fact that he was raped--not just that he was taken brutally but that he was completely and utterly helpless to fight back. And once again he was stripped of all control and was forced to 'hurt' a friend," Billy explained.

Adam had lost track of the times that Tommy had been put under spells by Rita, Zedd, and Mondo. Now Nikkolo... how could Tommy stand it? He and Billy watched as Tommy disappeared around the bend; when he was completely out of view, to Adam's complete astonishment, Billy sighed--not just any sigh, but one of deep longing.

"Man, I'd forgotten the effect his eyes had on me," Billy murmured.

"Billy?" Adam gulped, a blush scorching his cheeks. He was totally lost now; it sounded to him as if Billy was saying he was turned on by Tommy!

Billy simply smiled and shrugged. "Let's go find a place to sit down in the shade. This may take a while."

The two found a seat under the trees near the edge of the lake; they were away from the beach so there was no one else around. Adam plucked idly at the grass, unable to meet Billy's expectant gaze.

"I've heard bits and pieces of the story already, but I'd like to hear it from you," Billy prompted.

Adam wasn't sure if he could or not, but since Billy pretty much knew.... Slowly at first, then gaining confidence, Adam poured out his side of the tale.

Billy listened to Adam without comment or judgement. As he had hoped, their former bond still existed, and the more Adam talked, the more he opened up. He not only spoke of his and Tommy's ordeal in Nikkolo's lower chamber and what happened after they escaped, but he went so far as to reveal Kimberly's visit to his bedroom (which surprised Billy--he'd have to ask Tommy about that) and making love to Tanya (which did not surprise Billy at all). Billy was particularly intrigued about "the Voice." Adam had created an external persona for his doubts so that they seemed to be divorced from himself--an outside force to be combated instead of integrated into his personality. He wondered if that had made it easier or more difficult to deal with the questions. It seemed to take the blame for the problem off one's shoulders, but it in no way resolved it.

When Adam was done, Billy said nothing, giving him time to regain his equilibrium after such an emotionally draining experience. After regaining his composure, Adam looked up at him expectantly, almost as if he feared a negative reaction. Billy offered him a reassuring smile.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that," he murmured. "I would have given anything for Nikkolo not to have selected you. Watching a good friend raped in your stead, having to offer that same friend your body to save his life... having enjoyed the experience in spite of everything... and having a girlfriend that you equally enjoy being intimate with.... this is going to sound strange, and I don't mean to belittle what you've gone through in any way, but I do understand your confusion right now."

"How could you?" Adam blurted out. "Tommy said the same thing; how could he understand what it's like to not know...."

"He does understand," Billy said gently. Tommy had given him cart blanche to do whatever he needed to help Adam out, so.... "Tommy's had homosexual friends before. In fact, one of his best friends--Danny, I think his name was--was openly gay."

"Who's Danny?"

"A young man from one of Tommy's other schools--you knew that his family moved around a lot before coming to Angel Grove, didn't you? Danny was older than Tommy; they met in karate class. He openly discussed his choice of lifestyle with Tommy, so Tommy has a pretty good idea of what you must be going through. He was only trying to help."

"What could Tommy have done to help?" Adam queried, somewhat bitterly. Just because Tommy had a gay friend didn't mean he could do anything for him. "And why did he say that he couldn't?"

"You know Tommy," Billy began with a sad sigh. "There isn't anything he wouldn't do for one of us, but this time...."

"What did he mean by 'this time'?"

"Tommy wanted to help, Adam, but due to his own difficulties with what the two of you underwent, he just couldn't... and that hurts him more deeply than you can possibly guess. He feels as if he let you down. It practically killed him to have to call me and ask me to help, but he had to do what was best for you."

"I don't understand any of this," Adam said with a frustrated huff. "Why did Tommy call you? Don't get me wrong; I'm glad you're here and all, but how did Tommy know I'd open up to you? Even though we've always been able to talk, I wasn't sure I could tell you about this. I wasn't sure you'd be able to understand. I was afraid that you might...."

"... abandon you out of prejudice?" Billy finished for him. "You know me better than that, Adam. Is that why you didn't call me in the first place?"

"Kind of."

"Adam." Billy simply shook his head in exasperation, and Adam hung his head sheepishly. "To answer your question as to how Tommy knew, he's more perceptive than people give him credit for. Maybe not all the time...." he amended at Adam's disbelieving stare, "... but he has his moments. Since he had known me in my not-so-self-confident days, I imagine Tommy saw a lot of me in you when we all first met. I don't doubt that he knew we had been close and had a lot in common, although I doubt he realized exactly how much. As for why me, Tommy knew of my sexual identity crisis and figured I'd be better able to relate to you."

"You?" Adam's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Uh huh."

"But I never thought... I mean, you never seemed... what about Laura and Violet and Cestria...."

"Adam, I'm bisexual," Billy said plainly and smiled at Adam's astounded expression. "I'm okay with admitting that now; four years ago when it became an issue was another matter. It wasn't easy to come to grips with at first. There's a great deal of socialization and conditioning to overcome. I have to say that being on Aquitar has helped. They do not have the same sexual taboos that we have. In the schoolings, multi partner couplings are the norm, and the gender of the partner doesn't matter--well, except when it comes to mating for reproductive purposes, but that's another matter entirely." Billy waited as he watched Adam try to digest his rather stunning announcement.

"Billy, how did you....?" Adam asked helplessly.

"Come to this conclusion? A good friend helped me out." He could almost see the wheels spinning in Adam's mind.

"Tommy?"

Billy merely nodded, and Adam looked like he could faint. "Why don't I tell you what happened that afternoon," Billy suggested. "It was shortly after Jason, Zack, and Trini had left for Switzerland, and I was feeling particularly bereft. I had just said good-bye to three of my best friends in the world; I wasn't dealing with it very well. I was fretful about the fact that things wouldn't be the same--at school, on the team... everything. I'm rather ashamed to admit that I was feeling a bit resentful of you, Aisha, and Rocky--especially Rocky."

"What did you have against Rocky?" Adam wondered. He could understand Billy's feelings; he had sort of felt the same way when Kat replaced Kim and when Tanya replaced Aisha, but that had all worked out all right. Adam had never sensed that Billy particularly disliked Rocky.

"He just wasn't Jason."

"Excuse me?"

"That was another thing bothering me at the time, although, just like you, I tried to hide it from myself. You see, I had my share of wet dreams about Kim and Trini and other girls, but I also had wet dreams about Jason. I hadn't realized just how strongly I felt about him until he was no longer there."

"Did Jason know?"

"I believe not. I was very circumspect in regards to my unnatural--as I thought it at the time--interest in him." Billy paused, an amused twinkle flashing in his eyes. "You didn't know me when I was in my overalls phase; they were great for camouflaging unwanted erections." Even Adam had to smile at that.

"To get back to that afternoon, I was sitting by the lake, moping--missing my friends and trying to deal with my attraction to Jason--when Tommy found me. Tommy and I were friends, but not really close. I think our friendship grew more out of his affection for Kimberly and her closeness to me. Tommy was pretty much a loner, though he got along with Jason--and Kimberly of course. He didn't 'distract' me as much as Jason did; again, part of that was due to Kimberly. I think I made a conscious effort not to be affected by Tommy for her sake; although, that became more difficult the longer he was with the team. As long as I didn't pay too much attention to his eyes, I was usually okay."

"His eyes?" Adam wondered.

"That sounds silly, I know. With Jason, it was the way he filled out his uniform. With Tommy... he had this way of looking at Kimberly. You could see the affection he felt for her shining in his eyes--they'd get very soft and have a sort of warm glow to them... you could see the smile begin in them before it touched his lips. Kim's knees weren't the only ones that went a little weak at that look. God, how I envied her sometimes.

"Tommy sat down and we started talking about friends and how hard it is to say good-bye to them. I admit that I hadn't expected Tommy to be so understanding and sympathetic. He talked about moving around a lot and how he was afraid to let himself get close to people, and I talked about all sorts of things... insecurities, inadequacies--stuff I swore I'd never discuss with another human being. Once I got started, I just wasn't able to stop. I'm afraid I became rather emotional...."

Billy felt foolish, but he couldn't help himself; it felt so good to get all those things out of his system. The tears just kept coming. What would Tommy think? He wiped furiously at his eyes. For his part, Tommy didn't say anything. He simply left his hand resting on Billy's shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze.

"It's all right, Billy. If it weren't for the fact that you and Kim are still here, I'd probably be in tears, too," Tommy assured him. Billy realized that Tommy was right; he wasn't alone.

Kim was still there, and so was Tommy, and in time, the others would be close friends, too. "Thanks for understanding, Tommy," Billy murmured, finally able to regain his composure. He shot Tommy a sideways glance, smiling wryly. He had barely connected with Tommy's eyes, when time seemed to stand still. Those beautiful, expressive brown eyes with their thick, almost feminine lashes were shining with a warmth akin to that which Tommy reserved for Kimberly. A grin tugged at the corners of Tommy's mouth. How many times had Billy listened to Kimberly gush about what a wonderful kisser Tommy was? Billy suddenly felt lightheaded, and every nerve ending in his body was afire.

_Oh God, not now!_ Billy moaned silently. Although he had opened up to Tommy, he hadn't opened up _that_ much. His pants were suddenly tight, and he was having trouble breathing. His chest felt constricted, and his pulse raced. It was as bad as he had ever experienced with Jason, but Jason had never been close enough to see... to know.... Billy knew his cheeks were scarlet; he couldn't let Tommy see his face. He wanted to get up and run away, but he could not convince his muscles to respond. God help him, it was almost as if he didn't want to move. Tommy's hand was still on his shoulder; Billy felt overwhelmed by his nearness... his warmth....

"Billy?" Tommy queried, concerned. Billy knew Tommy could feel his trembling. "Billy, what' s wrong?"

"Nothing, I...." Why wouldn't Tommy just go away? Billy wanted desperately to conceal his obvious erection, but he was still paralyzed. Then, Billy felt it. He couldn't have said what it was, but suddenly he knew that Tommy had seen the bulge in his jeans, and just as surely he sensed that Tommy knew the reason for it. "Billy, it's all right," Tommy said quietly. _All right? How can it be all right? I'm sitting here aroused because of a guy's eyes! What's all right about that?_

"I didn't know...." Tommy continued, then he fell silent, seemingly studying Billy. He was quiet for too long; it made Billy even more nervous. He felt Tommy's eyes on him; he wanted to look up but knew he didn't dare. Finally, Tommy spoke. "I wonder... do YOU even know?"

"Know what?" Billy asked, his voice sounding very small and scared. "Are you gay?"

_OF COURSE NOT!_ Billy wanted to shout. It was absurd. He liked girls just as much as Tommy or Jason did; how many times had seeing Kimberly in her pink tights gotten him aroused? However, the protest died before it ever made it to his lips because Billy knew that for every time Kim had made him hard, so had Jason and now Tommy.... "I don't know," Billy admitted, all his confusion evident in his plaintive tone. God, he felt like crying again. It was bad enough being branded a brain and a geek, but to be a faggot too.... Another heavy silence settled over the pair, and this time Billy couldn't resist looking up. He had to see Tommy's expression; he had to know whether or not Tommy hated him or was disgusted or... but Tommy only appeared thoughtful, his gaze distant. Then, he said something that Billy knew he would never forget. "Would you like to know?"

"What?" Adam gasped, his mind awhirl with everything Billy was telling him. Tommy and Billy... he just couldn't believe it. Tommy was... well, all guy. However, there had been times during their... encounter when it seemed as though Tommy knew what to do--with a guy, that is.

"Tommy demonstrated the depth of his friendship by offering me the opportunity to explore the possibilities--with him," Billy elaborated.

"I don't get it. I thought Tommy was straight as an arrow."

"He is," Billy replied. "Tommy explained to me about Danny and how the one thing Danny had always been the most grateful for was the friend who helped him through his confusion by allowing him to find his answers without fear of recrimination. As my friend, Tommy offered me that same gift." Billy thought back to the walk from the park to his garage. As he recalled, it had been stifling hot that afternoon, too.

"Tommy, are you sure about this? I'll understand if you'd rather not.... "

"Billy, you can't go on without knowing one way or the other; you'll go nuts."

Well, Tommy had been right about that. The question of his sexual orientation had been driving him to distraction. Still, it had been difficult to accept that Tommy was willing to participate in a homosexual liaison simply to help him out.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you're my friend."

"Tommy made the offer and left the decision up to me," Billy continued. "As it was, I nearly said no. I wasn't sure I could deal with the certainty that I 'deviated from the norm' as it were. There was something to be said for ambiguity; however, I gave my consent. We went to my lab... it seemed like the most natural place to go." He shrugged. "Tommy told me that anytime I wanted to stop, all I had to do was say the word."

"So, how do you want to do this?" Tommy asked. Both boys were more than a little nervous.

"I don't know," Billy murmured. He was so scared and excited he couldn't stop shaking. He hadn't felt this uncertain about anything since he had accepted his power coin. "I guess maybe we should get undressed first."

"Okay. You, uh, want to undress me or should I do it myself?" Tommy offered.

Billy's throat went dry. He couldn't believe Tommy had asked him that; of course, he was astonished that anything could surprise him at this point. Billy regarded Tommy. The thought of undressing him was tempting; however, his hands were shaking so badly that he couldn't take his own clothes off, let alone Tommy's. "That's okay," Tommy replied when Billy's answer was not forthcoming. Billy felt a rush as Tommy stripped off his t-shirt. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen Tommy unclothed before; after all, they were in phys. ed. together, but this was different. He could look without fear of reprisal, and look he did--seemingly forever. Tommy said nothing; he stood there and let Billy take his time.

Billy compared Tommy to Jason and found himself as aroused as he had ever been around his long time friend. In that first moment, Billy knew he had his answer that yes, he was attracted to and aroused by members of his own gender. Part of him wanted to tell Tommy to get dressed and not put his friend through any more. Yet, part of him was overcome with the desire to explore the overpowering emotions more fully. Billy looked at Tommy with inexpressible longing in his eyes. Tommy merely smiled and nodded his permission.

"Do me a favor, though. Would you mind getting undressed, too? I feel a little ridiculous being the only one with no clothes on," Tommy requested.

"Oh wow," Adam murmured, scarcely able to believe what he was hearing. That Billy had experienced something close to his own struggle was mind blowing enough, but that Tommy played a key role in resolving his doubts.... He had to hear more; he had so many questions. "What happened next?"

"I explored to my heart's content, and Tommy asked if I would be interested in some of the things Danny had told him about," Billy responded, feeling a bit respectful of Tommy's privacy in the matter. Even so, there was one image so powerful, that he couldn't repress a shudder of delight at the memory. "Don't ever tell Tommy I said this, but man, he looked incredible with my cock in his mouth."

Adam blushed at Billy's words--for their frankness and the images they conjured. Tommy hadn't performed oral sex on him (oh, how he had wished... ), but he could picture the scenario with astonishing clarity. In a way, it made him rather uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" Billy wondered, picking up on Adam's moment of distress.

"I was just kind of wondering what Tommy was like with you," Adam fumbled.

"Very gentle," Billy said, thinking back. "I was really quite amazed. It seemed as if it truly mattered to him that the experience be good for me even though it did nothing for him. I offered to reciprocate, but Tommy declined, which was probably for the best. Tommy never responded the way I did, and I think it might have hurt my feelings if I tried and failed to elicit a response from him.

"Once we were finished, we were finished. Tommy asked if I was okay with the answers I received; I told him I was, and that was the last time we mentioned it. It's ironic, but that was also the last time I found myself so completely unable to control myself around Tommy. Still, there'd be times when he'd give Kim that look of his and I'd catch it...." Billy sighed wistfully.

"So by fooling around with Tommy you found out you were into guys," Adam surmised numbly. It was all just too much for him.

"Not quite," Billy corrected. "Having sex with Tommy didn't make me bi--I had always been bi--it merely confirmed what I already knew about myself but was too afraid to acknowledge. What being intimate with Tommy did was give me the courage to accept the truth. Not that I was able to go out and make any grand declarations or anything like that, but I was able to make peace with myself, and I knew that if my friends should find out it wasn't going to be apocalyptic. I could believe that my friends would still be my friends regardless of my sexual orientation."

"You keep saying that you're bisexual; does that mean that even after you acknowledged your attraction to other guys you still liked girls?" Adam asked hopefully, thinking of Tanya.

"Definitely. In fact, the following afternoon, I had a very powerful experience in that department," Billy said with a laugh. "Tommy and I were walking by Kim's house when her dog Muffin came charging out of the backyard, and Kim was giving chase. She had been in the back sunbathing; I think that was one of the first times Tommy had ever seen her in a bikini. It had been some time since I had seen her so attired, and I must admit, she filled her garment out much better than I recalled. Apparently, Muffin's escape happened quite suddenly because Kimberly's top was not properly fastened, and gravity was doing its best to rearrange its placement. Both Tommy and I were noticeably affected--which did not go unobserved by Kimberly. I wanted to die of embarrassment, but I believe she was flattered."

Billy and Tommy sighed deeply as they watch the sway in Kim's hips as she disappeared through the side gate. Billy thrust his hands deep into his pockets. Tommy did likewise. "That was... well...." Billy began, his voice cracking somewhat.

"...well--what?"

"I guess this incident resolves the remaining questions about my personal orientation," Billy mused.

Tommy laughed. "It figures. It must be the scientist in you; you're not happy unless you're able to examine the question from all sides."

Billy finished his recitation and regarded Adam thoughtfully. He wondered if Adam had struggled with his questions and confusion for as long as he had. _Probably longer since I addressed my difficulties four years ago._ Confronting one's sexual orientation was not easy to do, but accepting the answers and their consequences was infinitely more difficult. Still, the first step had to be taken, and Billy was all the more grateful that a friend had been there to take that first step with him.

"Adam, do you think you're bisexual?" Billy asked. That Adam could perform with Tanya indicated to Billy that his interest in women was genuine.

"I don't know. God help me, Billy, I really don't know," Adam said at last, hanging his head.

"Would you like to know?"

Adam's head came up. Those words... the exact same ones Tommy had said to Billy. A gesture of friendship... the desire to alleviate a friend's confusion and pain... Adam could accept it or reject the offer without fear. At that moment, he understood what Billy meant about fearing the truth and the safety of unanswered questions. However, he hated being confused. He thought of Tanya... it would be difficult telling her, but being unable to say anything to her about what was bothering him--she cared so much--was harder still. Adam tried to say yes, but his throat closed up. He managed to nod, feeling a little teary-eyed.

"It'll be all right, Adam," Billy assured him. He leaned forward and gently touched his lips to Adam's. It was no more than a quick peck, but it sent a charge through both young men, and both found themselves wanting more. "Maybe we should head to my lab," Billy suggested, finding himself slightly breathless.

Adam still hadn't found his voice, but his answer was in the grateful expression in his eyes.

Adam stepped into the lab; Billy followed, hitting the light switch. Everything looked the same as the last time Adam had been there, and he was suddenly struck by exactly how long that had been.

"Adam?" Billy queried.

There was something in his tone that made Adam realize that everything was different, too. Nothing would ever be the same between him and Billy... but was that good or bad?

"You're trembling," Billy observed, placing a hand on Adam's arm. It was an innocent gesture--the overture of a concerned friend, but at the same time, it seared Adam with its intimacy. "Adam, we don't have to...."

"Yes, Billy, we do--I do," Adam said, his voice tremulous. "It's past time I resolved this in my own mind."

"I understand."

Adam glanced over his shoulder and favored Billy with a grin. This time he could believe Billy when he said that. He understood this just like everything else Adam had ever come to him about. Yet, in spite of his determination to see this through, Adam found he couldn't move. He didn't know what to do... where to start... and he thought he had had trouble his first time with Tanya!

"Don't worry, Adam," Billy said. "Just promise me that you'll tell me to stop if this isn't right for you."

"All right," Adam gulped; he was still staring straight ahead. He heard Billy's sigh--of relief? He waited for Billy to make the first move, and when he did, it wasn't at all what Adam expected: Billy tousled his hair affectionately.

"Relax," Billy advised, his smile evident in his tone. Adam wanted to--desperately--but he remained frozen in place, his body as taut as a wire. He heard Billy moving around in the lab behind him... locking the door....

"Why don't you open your eyes," Billy suggested, his voice suddenly in front of Adam. Adam hadn't realized that he had closed them. When he opened his eyes, he found Billy standing in front of him, a bemused smile on his lips. Adam's throat suddenly went dry; Billy had taken his shirt off. Adam struggled to recall the last time he had seen Billy without a shirt... the locker room after a karate class or something...? Billy looked good. His shoulders were broader than he remembered. His chest and arm muscles were more defined....

"With all the swimming I've been doing lately...." Billy supplied to Adam's unasked question. Adam blushed; he hadn't realized that he had been that obvious. Still, he couldn't look away. He was surprised to discover that Billy's chest was covered with light golden-brown curls.

"Here, why don't you take this off," Billy said, plucking at Adam's button down shirt. Adam glanced down guiltily; he couldn't believe that he had actually worn two shirts, considering the heat, but he hadn't felt comfortable going to see Tommy without the over shirt. It was almost as if he felt too vulnerable in a tank alone.

"Sure," Adam stammered, but his hands were shaking so much that he couldn't handle any of the buttons.

"Allow me," Billy offered, deftly unfastening Adam's shirt. Then he stepped around Adam and pulled the garment off his shoulders. Adam shivered, but was it from the air conditioning or nervousness? Once Billy had fully divested him of his shirt, Adam felt his friend's hands return to his shoulders. Of all things, Billy started to slowly knead the tension out of his muscles. In spite of everything, Adam had to admit the massage felt good. Billy seemed to know just which spots to hit to undo the knots and loosen the coils. Adam felt himself beginning to relax. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and gave himself over to Billy's rubdown. After all, there was nothing wrong with a backrub.

Throughout the massage, Billy remained silent. That seemed to help Adam also; he felt his mind beginning to unwind. The sense of fear and panic began to subside.

_This isn't so bad,_ he mused. Somewhere along the way, while Adam was lost in the soothing sensations of the backrub, Billy had changed the intensity of his strokes. Gone was the deep penetrating rub; he continued with lighter strokes--almost caresses. Adam wasn't even aware of the change until he felt Billy's hand slide up under his shirt.

"Mm," Billy murmured appreciatively as his hand glossed over the smooth, hard muscles of Adam's back. "It's been so long since I've touched another human being like this...."

Adam's brain latched onto the words "human being." _Not guy or girl but human...._

"... I'd forgotten how soft, smooth, and warm... no wonder I was so popular at the schoolings," Billy concluded with a laugh.

"Are Aquitians so much different from us?" Adam wondered; it was so hard to focus. He was melting under the heat of Billy's gentle strokes.

"While not scaled, their skin is tougher, coarser and cooler than ours. Along their spine is a ridge of dorsal nibs...." As Billy spoke, he worked Adam's shirt up to his shoulders. Wrapping his arms around Adam's body, Billy pulled him full against himself and felt Adam's start of surprise. Billy skimmed his hands over Adam's chest and urged his arms up; his hands slid over Adam's muscular arms, taking the tank with them. Finally succeeding in baring his partner to the waist, Billy resumed his gentle exploration.

Adam was surprised by the strength of Billy's embrace and at the same time the lightness of his touch. His mind was awhirl with everything he was feeling. He was almost too conscious of Billy's body pressed against his... his hardness... his warmth.... He had experienced a similar heightened state of awareness with Tanya, but it hadn't been as intense as with Tommy and Billy. Even while he was enjoying what Billy was doing to him, there was an almost overpowering urge to break free; he had never experienced that with Tanya. It was as if his mind were telling him that he had to get out of there, but his body knew he couldn't escape. Like with Tommy, he felt as if he were trapped; there was nothing he could do but surrender and let himself feel... was that the key? A need to feel helpless to stop what was happening to him? Since he couldn't stop it, why not enjoy it? He liked what Billy was doing to him even though he knew he shouldn't. Was it a need to be absolved of his guilt for liking it?

Suddenly, Adam's senses exploded as he felt the hot wetness of Billy's mouth on the back of his neck. _Just like when Tommy...._ A tremor raced down Adam's spine as Billy's lips began to wander. _Not that! Please don't let him find The Spot!_ Adam pleaded silently. If Billy found that, Adam knew he'd be lost--but wasn't that what he wanted? Adam no longer knew what he wanted. Billy's mouth proceeded along his shoulder, drawing ever closer. As frantically as Adam willed Billy away, he yearned for him to find the place.

_Please... no... yes...oh God, just get it over with!_ Billy's lips were almost there. Adam closed his eyes, his body taut with anticipation. He shook. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. So close... already he felt the tingle racing through his nerve endings. Billy's breath was scalding.

"Please," Adam all but sobbed, unable to hold the plea back any longer. Billy had to... if he kissed him there.... Adam knew he'd be past caring whether it was Billy or Tanya making love to him. Instead of urging Billy forward, Adam's exclamation made him pause. Adam whimpered in frustration. Unable to stand it any longer, he reached back and pulled Billy's head--his mouth--closer. He tilted his own head, exposing his neck, offering it to Billy.

"I take it you enjoy having your neck played with," Billy murmured, his breath hot against Adam's skin.

"Just do it," Adam growled. _Damn Billy for being a tease!_ Billy chuckled and slowly drew his tongue along the side of Adam's neck to just the right spot. "God, yes!" Adam gasped as sweet fire exploded within him. It wasn't as intense as an orgasm, but it was pretty close. Chills ran up and down his spine, and he moaned with helpless abandon. Billy wasn't just licking; he was nibbling, too. He worked his way around to the other shoulder and found the matching spot there. Adam felt as if his knees wouldn't be able to hold him. Billy braced him against his body; his fingers found their way to Adam's nipples and began playing with them--a flick of a finger, a gentle pinch....

It was too much for Adam. He couldn't stay still and simply let Billy play with him. He had to do something... his heart pounded fiercely... pleasure burned through his body... it was all too much. Adam spun in Billy's embrace, turning to face him. Incapable of clear thought, he reacted on impulse. It was the same urge that had gripped him with Tommy--something he had wanted to do so badly but had been unable to. This time, he let himself go. His arms crushed Billy closer, and his mouth plundered Billy's with surprising ferocity.

"Oh God," Adam groaned as he came up for air. He felt terrified and excited all at once. His insides churned, and his head seemed to be spinning. He felt like he was on a roller coaster, dying to get off the ride but never wanting it to end. _I hate roller coasters; that's Rocky's thing!_

He had the wildest urge to kiss Billy again; Billy was a pretty awesome kisser! Adam didn't even try and hold back. Billy seemed to understand his need and yielded to him. When Adam pulled away this time, he allowed his hands to wander. His trembling fingers traced the outlines of Billy's facial features. They moved lower down his neck and throat and found their way to his chest. He delighted in the feel of the soft down which covered Billy's muscles. His questing fingers sought out Billy's nipples and gave the taut nibs an experimental pinch. Billy moaned, and Adam looked up hopefully to find his eyes closed and a smile on his lips. Adam felt himself brimming with... with what? What was he doing?

Adam wanted to draw back in his moment of panic, but Billy held him tightly not allowing him to escape. Finally, Adam's will to resist caved in, and he let himself ease back into Billy's embrace. For a long while, Adam and Billy stood there in each other's arms, breathing heavily. Adam envied Billy his calm.

"Are you all right?" Billy asked softly.

"I think so," Adam stammered. "Part of me thinks what we're doing is wrong, but it feels so good--too good--that I don't want to stop."

"What's so wrong about two friends sharing an intimate encounter?" Billy queried. His hands skimmed down Adam's sweat-streaked back to the curve of his ass. Billy fitted his palms to Adam's cheeks and squeezed. Adam found himself mirroring the move.

"I'm still so confused, Billy," Adam confessed, burying his face in Billy's chest. Billy reached up to stroke his hair. "I want you so badly right now it almost hurts. You've made me feel incredible things and told me I don't have to be ashamed of those feelings. Yet, I also want Tanya. The things she made me feel were just as great... and it felt just as right being with her as it does being here with you."

"Adam, coming to terms with your sexuality isn't going to be easy. You've denied the truth about yourself for so long--just as I did--that it's going to take time to get used to it. The first question is can you accept the truth?"

"That I'm bisexual?" It was the first time Adam had said the word, and somehow he felt better for using it. It didn't seem so bad. "Yeah, I think so... I think I have to." He let out a long, slow breath and allowed himself to relax against Billy's body. He liked the hardness of Billy's body; it was such a contrast to the softness of Tanya. There was a sureness in the way Billy touched him that he found at once comforting and exciting. Impulsively, he placed a kiss on the patch of skin beneath his cheek. Billy suddenly pulled his hips closer and his hands continued to play along Adam's ass. "What are you doing back there? Whatever it is, sure feels good."

"Nothing more than lightly massaging the undersell of your tight little posterior. You're not doing a half bad job with mine, either." Adam had forgotten that his hands were tightly gripping Billy's buttocks. "Why don't we lose the shorts, though. Mine, at least, have become a bit restrictive."

Adam agreed with a sheepish grin. Both young men kicked off their shoes, but Adam found that his hands were still trembling as he fumbled with his belt.

"I can't believe I'm still nervous," he mumbled.

"Then let me help," Billy offered. Swiftly and surely, Billy unfastened Adam's belt and denim shorts and slid them down Adam's trim hips, himself dropping to his knees in the process. Billy's eyes seemed to light up as he studied Adam's straining organ. He sighed longingly as he passed his hand over the length of Adam's shaft. Adam moaned gutturally, finding Billy's touch more firm and knowing than Tanya's

"Ohhh," Adam groaned, his head falling back. Billy had just the right touch. The feeling was electric. Adam's knees felt wobbly as Billy stroked his cock. Just when Adam thought it couldn't possibly get any better, he felt something hot and wet envelop his organ. Adam glanced down in disbelief as his shaft disappeared into Billy's mouth.

_This isn't happening. This has to be a dream,_ Adam tried telling himself. It wasn't possible to feel this good and be awake. Billy's mouth was just too wonderful, and the things he was doing with his tongue... Adam wondered if Billy would consider giving Tanya lessons. While Billy's mouth continued to work him to a fever pitch, Billy's hands slid up Adam's shaky thighs and slipped around his hips to caress his taut buttocks. His body quaked, and another raw moan echoed up from Adam's toes as Billy's fingers danced along the crevice between his cheeks.

"This is magnificent," Billy sighed, pausing his tongue bath.

"Shouldn't that be... my line?" Adam gasped. Billy couldn't stop now; he was so close!

"Aquitian males are not generally as well endowed as their human counterparts," Billy explained, flicking his tongue out to savor another taste. "Mm, I wonder if I would have enjoyed Tommy this much had he allowed me to pleasure him orally as he had done me."

"Tommy doesn't know what he missed," Adam murmured. "You have an awesome mouth."

"Thank you, but four years ago, I hadn't had any practice," Billy replied with a grin, then he resumed his oral massage.

For a moment, Adam was incapable of forming a coherent thought, and he nearly lost it when he glanced down to see his cock disappearing into Billy's talented mouth. However, in looking down, he observed the state of Billy's organ, and he found that he desperately wanted to return the favor.

"B-billy, may I try...?" he gasped just as Billy's mouth wandered low enough to wetly caress his sac.

"Are you sure?" Billy queried. He didn't want to push Adam too far too fast, but his organ fairly throbbed at the offer.

"Yes. I told you that I did Tommy--a little bit," Adam said.

"Then, please...." As Adam stepped out of his shorts, Billy finished divesting himself of his.

For the first time in his life, Adam unabashedly stared at another man's body. "Do you like what you see?" Billy asked teasingly.

Adam blushed helplessly when he couldn't answer. He did find Billy's body very appealing, and he was less intimidated by Billy than he had been by Tommy. There was only the slightest hesitation as he reached out to gingerly touch Billy's stiff member. Adam took his time in exploring the differences between Billy and Tommy--beyond the obvious difference in size. There were little things, but if he had been asked to enumerate them, he wouldn't have been able to.

"You have such a delicate touch...." Billy moaned in appreciation. His compliment warmed Adam; he felt bold enough to slip the head inside. "It's been so long...." Billy sighed, his hand reaching down to cradle the back of Adam's head.

Adam swallowed Billy even deeper, being mindful not to take too much in. Then, he slowly backed off, which made Billy moan exquisitely. Adam allowed his tongue to explore Billy's length lavishly, although the grip Billy had on his head made it difficult to do more than simply work his mouth back and forth.

"That feels incredible," Billy gasped as Adam took another deep mouthful. Already he could feel his need growing; however, he wasn't ready to come yet. "As much as I am inclined to the opposite, I had better ask you to discontinue the blow job."

"Why?" Adam queried, unable to mask his disappointment. It was strange to admit it, but he was just starting to get into fellating Billy.

"I have a few other things planned. So, if you wouldn't mind steppping over to the counter...." Billy instructed; however, as Adam stood, Billy pulled him close. He simply couldn't resist; Adam's warm body felt absolutely delicious. Billy skimmed his hands down Adam's chest then briefly cupped his manhood before continuing the embrace. The full body contact seemed to give both men chills.

"Can I ask you something?" Adam asked suddenly, allowing his hands to wander. "Do you get this worked up when you're with a girl?"

"I don't know. Things were a bit different with Cestria, and I'm still a virgin as far as human females go," Billy confessed.

"You are?"

"Uh huh, and one of these days I'd like to find out what I'm missing, but for now...." Billy slipped Adam a quick kiss, then easily turned him around.

Adam swallowed hard, knowing what was coming. He gripped the edge of the counter, bracing himself in nervous anticipation. However, Adam should have remembered that Billy wasn't one to rush things. Billy skimmed his hands down Adam's back and over the curve of his ass. He then pulled Adam upright, sliding his arms around him. Billy's hands wandered the length of Adam's torso while his lips and tongue teased the back of Adam's neck. Adam shivered with delight and couldn't help pushing his hips back until Billy's hardness was pressed against him.

"You sure take your time with foreplay," Adam sighed as Billy flicked his tongue against his earlobe. That felt interesting.

"A scientist is nothing if not thorough," Billy responded playfully. "Besides, I'm enjoying this immensely. I always did like being the...." What followed was a series of gurgles, gasps, and other unlikely sounds.

"What was that?" Adam's breath caught in his throat as Billy began licking his way down his spine.

"One of the few Aquitian words I can pronounce; it means 'pleasure giver.'"

"You'll get no argument from me on... that...." Adam's mind went blank as Billy lightly nipped at his behind. He felt himself tensing anxiously; however, Billy's mouth was doing awesome things to his backside, and he found he couldn't help responding. He grabbed hold of the counter to support himself as Billy's lips and tongue wandered all over his ass. It was driving him crazy; Billy was really getting into nibbling on his backside. However, Billy's reason for being so lavish in his attentions to Adam's posterior (beside the fact that his smooth, muscular tush was so delectably kissable) quickly became evident as a probing finger slipped into Adam's rectum.

"Billy!" Adam gasped, his body going rigid in protest. His muscles clenched down on Billy's finger as if to expel it.

"Easy does it, Adam," Billy encouraged soothingly. While he couldn't advance his finger, he made sure he didn't loose any ground.

"Sorry, I can't help it."

"It's a natural reaction, all things considered. It's just my finger, Adam, not Tommy's rather ample phallus." Billy knew that while Adam had enjoyed most of what Tommy had done to him, towards the end, Tommy had gotten pretty rough in spite of his efforts to the contrary. As he continued speaking, his free hand stroked Adam's quivering cheeks. "I only wanted to test your response before I tried anything further. I won't do anything else if you don't want me to."

"But Billy... you gotta...." Adam pleaded. He wasn't entirely sure what he was begging for.

"I know it hurt somewhat when Tommy took you; the madness and pain proved to be too much for him to fully restrain himself."

"Uh huh." Why was Billy bringing this up now? He didn't want to think about Tommy. Billy's finger was moving slightly, sending white hot fire ripping through his body.

"But some of it still felt good, right?" Adam nodded; he'd agree with anything Billy said as long as he kept on doing what he was doing. However, Billy removed his finger. He climbed back to his feet and turned Adam's face towards his own so that they could look each other in the eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

Adam didn't even have to give the answer a thought. "Of course I do."

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes."

"Then relax."

Adam blew out a breath and tried to will his muscles to unclench. Billy resumed playing with his bottom. It definitely helped to ease some of the tension. Adam was just beginning to wonder when Billy was going to make the attempt when he felt Billy spread his legs further apart. Then, he felt something cold and slick applied to his channel.

"Lubricant," Billy explained and eased his liberally coated finger into Adam's ass. With the shock of the initial penetration past and experiencing no discomfort, Adam once again felt an intense fire radiating out from his backside.

"What are you doing to me!" he gasped, wriggling almost involuntarily as pleasure swept through him.

"Most men are highly susceptible to anal stimulation--if you can convince them to try it."

"God, Billy, I didn't think things could get any better, but this...."

"... is but a small sample." Billy removed his finger and introduced the tip of his well-lubed cock into Adam's bottom. The exquisite pressure nearly made him swoon, and Billy moaned in concert with Adam.

Although Adam knew what to expect this time around, the initial insertion still caught him off guard. There was a moment of nigh unbearable pain/pleasure as he felt himself being opened and filled. However, the moment quickly passed as Billy slid his full length into him.

"Sweet Lord... I had forgotten how tight and hot... your ass feels so incredible...." Billy gasped in utter bliss. His words shattered the last of Adam's resistance. His body seemed to relax, allowing Billy full access. To his surprise, Adam thrust his bottom back to meet Billy's stroke. His body had wanted to respond to Tommy like this, but Adam had forced himself not to. This time, Adam simply gave himself over to the pleasure he felt. He gripped the counter more tightly, and his leg muscles quivered with the strain of trying to match Billy's rhythm. Neither friend spoke, the moment, emotions, and sensations too powerful for words. The lab was filled with the sounds of their pleasure.

Adam could feel the fire within him waiting to erupt. Billy's actions were awesome, but his body cried out for more. As Billy's hands helped steady his hips, Adam pried his fingers from the lab counter and reached down to stroke himself. Slowly, Adam's hand began to match the rhythm of Billy's hips. Adam sensed Billy tensing; he could feel it in the grip on his hips. Billy thrust forward more urgently.

"Ohhh...." Billy groaned as he pulled out. It left Adam feeling curiously empty. Seconds later, Adam felt the splash of Billy's hot jism against his bottom, and Billy all but collapsed on top of him. Adam felt disappointed; he knew Billy probably hadn't been able to hold out any longer, but he felt like Billy had left him behind. Then, to his astonishment, he felt Billy's hand join his in stroking his aching cock. Billy reached around with his other hand, and Adam gasped in surprise when he felt the touch of something cold against his hot shaft.

"Lubricant," Billy whispered heavily. Adam pulled forward so that he could turn and look back at Billy. His friend's need was naked in his eyes. "Please?"

"Are you sure?" Adam gulped, echoing Billy's query to him but with far less confidence. "Take me, Adam."

Billy positioned himself along the counter, offering himself to Adam. Adam felt himself freezing up; he couldn't shake the conviction that if he did Billy, there could be no turning back for him--as if there ever really was. Adam swallowed hard as he ran his finger along the crack of Billy's ass; he tried to do as Billy had done to him--allow his finger to sort of get things ready.

"A little lower," Billy instructed.

"Sorry."

"It's okay, Adam. There... now you've got... it... oh my, yes... you've definitely got it," Billy sighed. It really had been a long time; it had been months since he had last participated in a schooling. It was the reason he had ejaculated so quickly--he really did feel badly about that, but he just couldn't hold back any longer. He probably shouldn't have asked Adam to do this either; he wasn't ready, but Billy had been unable to help himself, and Adam was proving to be a fast learner.

Adam felt the tremor which rippled through Billy's body, and his moan was more like a whimper of anticipation. Billy sounded almost desperate. He hoped Billy couldn't tell he was shaking as he grabbed hold of his hips and attempted to locate Billy's opening.

"That's it, Adam... there you go...ohhh!" Billy's ass readily accepted Adam's hardness--even more easily than Tanya's pussy had, and yet his behind was impossibly tighter. Adam quickly found his hips pressed against Billy's cheeks. It was all he could do not to lose his load then and there.

"Oh God, Billy...." Adam groaned.

"A sentiment I heartily echo. Try a few easy thrusts... oh my...!" Adam sucked in a sharp breath as he pulled back that first time and slid forward again. It was as if his mind had gone completely numb with pleasure. He couldn't believe how good it felt, and he surrendered himself to the sensations ripping through him. He was only dimly aware of the quickening tempo of this thrusts or the deepening of Billy's moans (or his own for that matter) or the backwards thrusts of Billy's hips. He allowed himself to be carried away by the molten surge of pleasure rushing through his body. He held onto Billy's hips for dear life as he felt the blinding heatwave cresting... exploding... carrying him over the edge....

The next thing Adam new, he was on the floor gasping for air. Billy was next to him, his back up against the cold metal of the counter's base. The two regarded each other exhaustedly. As he recovered his composure, Adam's mind drifted back over everything he and Billy had shared over the years as teammates and friends. Adam had always known that he cared deeply about Billy, but in that moment, he realized what exactly it was he had felt. Perhaps he had always known on some level; he had just never been able to put words to the emotions.

"Billy, I...."

"I know, Adam; same here."

Then, Billy leaned over and kissed Adam. It was a kiss unlike any Billy had given him before. It was at once tender and heated; Billy's tongue explored the depths of Adam's mouth, drawing out a moan of delight. A sensuous exchange... it was a kiss full of emotion.

As their mouths parted, Billy flicked his tongue along the curve of Adam's lips. "Thank you," he murmured.

"Huh?"

"For letting me do that," Billy explained. "That was the one thing I had always wished I had been able to do with Tommy: kiss him."

"Why didn't you?" Adam wondered.

"I don't know... I wanted to badly enough--still do, actually. I guess I was too scared. He had done so much for me, and yet I had done nothing for him. I wanted him to know how much his gift meant to me; however, I just couldn't do it. I felt like I might have been crossing the line if I had tried."

"Let me get this straight, Tommy let you take him up the ass (Billy hadn't specifically said so, but from what Adam could tell, that was the likeliest combination) and you felt that kissing him was going too far?" Adam had to laugh at the sheer absurdity of it.

"What did I know? I was only sixteen, and I didn't want to do anything to make Tommy regret what he had done," Billy replied with a shrug. "You said that Tommy kissed you; what kind of kisser was he?"

Adam had to think a moment. The first time he had been too startled to have had much of a reaction, but the second time... in the shower and while they had been having sex.... At the time, it would have destroyed him to admit it, but now.... "Well, you have to remember he thought he was kissing Kimberly most of the time," Adam began, "but I definitely felt something. He's an awesome kisser; no wonder Kim's all over him every chance she gets."

"Damn," Billy muttered. Then, he, too, laughed. "Speaking of Tommy, I'd better go hunt him down. The sooner he gets his troubles out into the open, the sooner he'll be able to put this behind him." Bill started rounding up his clothes but paused to give Adam a thoughtful look. "And I believe you need to go have a chat with someone, too."

"Tanya," Adam sighed. "What am I going to tell her?"

"The truth."

"This is almost too weird to be believed--even for us."

"I know, but if you love Tanya, you'll have to tell her; you can't keep something like this from her. Even if you never actually have sex with another guy...."

"Billy, this wasn't the only time... for us... was it?" Adam asked worriedly.

"That's up to you. Do you want us to be lovers?" Billy queried, selecting his words deliberately.

"I'm not sure," Adam confessed. "I mean, I feel the same way about you as I feel about Tanya. I don't know if I can choose between you."

"Why do you have to choose?" Billy asked. The thought pained him; in a way, that was what happened between him and Cestria. She made her choice--although he had made it easier for her--and he had come home. Even so, Billy knew that someday Adam would have to make a choice; society wouldn't let him have it both ways. "We're friends, Adam; we've loved each other for years--we just couldn't admit that to ourselves until now. That will never change whether we share a physical relationship or not. However, there'll be time for us to work this out. Right now, there is Tanya to consider.

"As difficult as this is for you to accept, it'll be even more difficult for her. She may need a little time to get used to the idea, so don't be concerned if she needs to take a step back or something. In the end, I think she will be able to accept your dual nature. She has always struck me as being open minded, and more importantly, she loves you."

"Why don't I go over to her place now--the sooner, the better," Adam agreed, but he couldn't help but feel nervous about the prospect. "And Billy, thank you--for everything."

"What are friends for?"

"Hi, Adam. How'd things go with Tommy?" Tanya queried as she opened the door. Adam had told her about Tommy's request for a meeting.

"Tanya, we really need to talk," Adam began, his demeanor somber. Her smile fading, replaced by a nameless dread, Tanya ushered him into the living room.

Adam couldn't have said how long he spoke, but once he started, the words just came pouring out. He told Tanya everything--from the first time he heard the voice to what transpired in Billy's lab. With his tale concluded, he sat on the couch across from Tanya, her hands clutched tightly in his. He held his breath as he took in Tanya's shell shocked expression. He wished she would say something. Suddenly, Tanya stood up.

"Tanya, are you all right?" he asked worriedly.

"All right? Am I supposed to be all right?" She murmured numbly.

Adam felt his spirits sink. He wanted so badly for her to understand. "I'm sorry," he mumbled helplessly.

"Sorry? For what? For telling me the truth?"

"No, just that it's hurting you so much."

"How did you expect me to feel? You just told me that you're bisexual--that you like guys as well as girls--and that you have another lover, and it's BILLY!"

Adam cringed at her tone.

"Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? To know that the man I love is in love with another man?"

"Tanya, you know how I've felt about Billy...."

"I know; I've often told you how sweet is was that you cared so much for him," Tanya acquiesced and let out a sigh as the flash of anger faded. She glanced back at Adam. "I was always telling you it was all right for you to love your friend. I just never considered it would be in the Biblical sense.

"I'm sorry for losing it, Adam. I know this isn't something that happened overnight. It's something you've been trying to come to terms with for years, but I feel like I've failed you somehow."

"You haven't...."

"When we made love the other night, that was supposed to have been our first time. We were saving ourselves for each other, and now I find out that you had sex with Tommy before me...."

"I couldn't help that, Tanya...."

"I know. I'm just kind of disappointed, that's all."

"I imagine Kim felt the same when she first found out about Tommy and Billy."

"And they didn't have some pervert's spell to blame it on." Tanya returned to the couch and sat down. "Tommy, I can understand; you both were forced into that. I'm not angry about Kimberly's little visit either; she hinted that she might have to try desperate measure to get through to you, and I told her I trusted you both. And Billy... it isn't your choice in lovers, just the fact that you have one."

"We've only done it once, Tanya, and that to help me through my confusion."

"Did you enjoy it?" Tanya asked suddenly. "Is it something you'd like to do again?"

Adam found he couldn't be anything but honest with her. "Yes. However, I enjoyed making love to you and would very much like to do that again, too. Just because I love Billy doesn't mean I love you any less."

Tanya favored him with tearful eyes. "I know. Just be patient with me, Adam; this is going to take some time to get used to."

Adam eyed her hopefully.

"It took us so long to reach this point in our relationship, I'm not about to let it go now," Tanya continued, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "We'll just see where things go from here."

"Thank you," he choked out.

"Would you hold me for a little while?" Tanya requested.

"Sure." Adam leaned back against the arm of the couch and gathered Tanya to his chest. As she snuggled into his embrace, he kissed the top of her head. It would take time--for both of them, but he could finally believe that things would be all right. For several minutes Adam contentedly stroked Tanya's hair as he listened to the wind pick up outside.

"Adam?"

"Hm?"

"I was wondering...."

"Yes?"

"What's Billy like in bed?"

"Tanya!"

"Well, Kat and I always used to wonder about what you guys would be like, and...."

"I can't tell you that!"

"Why not?"

"It's... kinda personal."

"You told Billy about us, didn't you?"

"Yes...."

"Why can't you tell me about him?"

"Tanya...."

"If not Billy, then, what about Tommy...."