Disclaimer: Damn I hate these, so if you want one go check my other fanfics. I'm sick of the stupid quips I must resort to to at least sound original. This is only a semi-parody, but since there aren't that many out there I have to make it do.

"Billy, could you fix this for me?" Rocky asked, holding up a pair of beaten up tennis shoes.

Billy examined the shoes for a moment, attempting to figure out how he could make them less worn. "Precisely what am I looking for?" he asked.

"Oh, I broke my shoelaces again." Rocky said naively. "I keep having problems with these. Could you maybe knot them back together or something?"

Billy groans audibly. "Don't you think that perhaps you could do this on your own this time? I honestly don't have sufficient time to contend with such insignifigan......"

"Please?" Rocky begs, even getting on his knees. "It's either that or help me with my Chem final. I don't have time for both."

Billy holds his temples for a moment and searches around the Command Center for another pair of shoelaces. He finds them from an old pair of Kimberly's sneakers. He tosses them over to Rocky.

"But they're pink!" Rocky protests, unaware of the irritation he was causing as the temperature rose in Billy's cheeks.

"Just go!" Billy insisted, giving him the coldest, most evil stare imaginable.

"Geez... sorry. Thanks anyway. I'll go ask Adam since lunch is almost over. Oh, by the way, I heard Tommy bitching about how you were going to kill him for short circuiting the zords after that water monster you told us not to chase. I'm glad you weren't that mad since we need a leader. Later." He waved slightly and teleported back out, leaving his mangled tennis shoes on the counter before Billy could reply.

"WHAT?" Billy cried out. He then noticed Alpha fidgeting nervously next to one of the control panels. "Alpha, come here..."

"Um... Billy?" Alpha quivered, "It's not my fault. Tommy forced me. He said something about his being able to ship me in pieces as a late wedding present to Rita and Zedd."

"Preposterous. Now, what did I say about Tommy the last time he tricked you?" Billy said for about the ninth millionth time.

"Tommy is a musclehead.... and that his threats mean nothing.... because he isn't bright enough.... enough to carry them out." Alpha stammered, obviously shaken at what Tommy could do to him.

"Okay now?" Billy asked. "Zordon, please teleport Tommy here so that I can give him an earful for going into the ocean with a giant robot!"

Zordon nodded, "Yes, but he is currently in class... it would be wise to wait until..."

"No!" Billy insisted, pressing at several buttons on a control panel, "That idiot has made too much work for me as it is. As long as he's here I'm doomed to work in this dimly lit hellhole due to my past agreement. If I don't take care of it now I'll be stuck in here like a slave until I approach eighty!"

"What the?" Tommy remarked as he disappeared in a flash of red from his English class and appeared in the command center. "What do you think you're doing? Everybody's gonna know now!"

"We can make up an explanation later. If they haven't figured out yet, they're probably gullible enough to believe any excuse we come up with." Zordon explained.

"PROBABLY?" Tommy gulped.

"Okay, what gave you the idea that you could take the zord into the ocean after I specifically told you not to do so? Do you realize how long it takes for me to fix all these things by themselves." Billy lectured.

"But... If I didn't the monster would've gotten away. I can't help that he tried to get away in the fuckin' water! What were we supposed to do, let the thing get away so it can come back. I never let them get away."

"But, Tommy." Billy explained, trying to keep his cool, "Machines cannot go into the water unless it is waterproof. The Dragonzord was because that was where it was stored for 10000 years. The others are not. Rewiring this thing can take a really long time, even if I get Alpha and Adam to help."

"Well you should've thought about it! Now fix that and send me back to class." Tommy barked, "Make the zords durable for once. I don't want any more problems about this if it comes up again."

Billy was so furious at this point that he didn't say anything and teleported Tommy out, where he reappeared in his class without anybody ever noticing he had disappeared at all.

~*~

"Um, Billy can I ask you why you are wrapping all the zords in bubblewrap?" Tanya asked Billy as she appeared after school had ended, still holding her books.

"Tommy can't seem to keep the zords in proper shape so he told me to make it harder for him to wreck them! Just following orders." Billy answered, not pausing in the task of putting and extra three layers over the arm of the red battlezord.

"Tommy wanted you to use bubblewrap?" Tanya asked in disbelief.

"No but at least this way he won't be able to do too much. What do you want out of me?" Billy continued wrapping the zords.

"Um... if it's a bad time that's okay but I was wondering if you could help me out on this physics. I just don't get it at all." Tanya said.

Billy groaned once more. The last time Tanya had problems, it had taken until three in the morning to explain it to her. It wasn't that she was a slow learner but rather her mind had a tendency to drift off into other things, particularly someone. "I am fairly busy at the moment."

"Oh, okay. Maybe later then... Do you think Adam might be able to help?" Tanya asked.

Billy sighed, "Yes. Last time I checked he managed to ace both that and Calculus, so he would adequately supplement you."

Tanya looked uneasy, "Would he want to?"

"Yes, he will. For the last time will you two stop avoiding each other. You two are worse than I am and I'm relatively pathetic!" Billy exclaimed, trying to shoo the yellow ranger out of the room so he could finish his work.

~*~

"Billy?"

"What?" Billy snapped, "I am trying to fix this right now."

"But... I need your help." Kat said, in a high pitched school-girl voice.

"Doesn't everybody." Billy grumbled. He wanted to go back to the endless science reports he wanted to complete rather than fiddle around in the Command Center.

"Are you grumpy?" Kat teased.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am. I have had to deal with everybody's crisis' today and have accomplished very little in terms of completing the work around here."

"Oh." Kat remarked, coming close to Billy, "Maybe we can settle both of our problems." She began caressing Billy's face and before he could jerk away began kissing him, pushing her tongue into his mouth.

"Hey, what are you doing? You're supposed to be going out with Tommy!" Billy gasped once she freed him.

Kat chuckled and began removing her top, causing Billy, Alpha, and Zordon to turn away quickly. "Damn it Kat, II don't want to see those!"

"Your actions are truly discouraging!" Zordon added.

"AiAiAi, if only Kim would've done that." Alpha added.

"Alpha!" Zordon scolded.

"What's wrong with a little fun? I can't get any, you can't get any. We can help one another." Kat continued.

"GET OUT!!" Billy screamed.

"You're no fun at all. I'll try Rocky!" She didn't bother replacing her shirt as she disappeared as she came in a flash of neon pink light.

-What is going on today?- Billy wondered

~*~

"Zordon, I've had it!" Billy yelled at the floating head, "I don't care any more! I have had it up to here with this. Everyone else is a fucking cretin! Imbeciles. Find a good excuse for me to go to Aquitar. At least there I would be appreciated by SOMEONE!"

"Billy, until you find a replacement for your position I cannot allow you to leave." Zordon said.

"Fuck that!" Billy ranted, "Who the hell is stupid enough to take my position without completely screwing it up?"

Just then a flash of green light flashed as Adam entered the room. "Billy. I wanted...."

"Will you go the fuck away!?" Billy scowled.

"Bad day, huh. I take it you finally discovered Tommy's last brave attempt. If you want I can help you. Right now I think Tanya and Kat have both gone bonkers. Do the powers synchronize their cycles or something?"

Billy smirked for a moment. -Hell he's not me but he'll do.- "Zordon, Adam's my replacement." he said quickly and immediately teleported away.

"Wait a moment? What's going on here? Somebody." Adam stammered.

"Billy quit so he just up and left." Alpha explained.

"You are now obligated to remain in the Command Center all waking hours. We will devise a way to fake your death to avoid the conflict with family. Also, you will still be the second in charge meaning keeping the other Rangers *cough* Tommy *cough* from doing anything idiotic and costing us any more money." Zordon said with an evil cackle.

"Do I have a say in this?" Adam asked.

"No." came the simultaneous reply from both Alpha and Zordon.

"Yes, sir." Adam said disheartedly as he began working on the mangled zord.

~*~

"Damn that was nice." Kat mumbled, "And to think I spent all this time grovelling in front of Tommy."

"Let's face it, these guys are scum." Tanya replied, "They don't even know when they're getting hit on!"

Kat laid under the thin sheet over her body and giggled, "Their loss. Our fun."

Final notes: Okay, the last part was shock value! What can I say? It wasn't what anyone expected to finish this fic up!