Austin's OVG from A to Z
Austin Power Ranger, I.P.M.
(Interdimensional Poet of Mystery)
Prelewd:
(When you see these poems a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'!)
Austin's Alphabet rhymes may seem corny,
But watch out!!! They just might make you horny!!!
So if that's not your bag,
If you don't care to shag,
Go elsewhere--read something less porny.
For tis Happy Porn we all try to write,
No plots, no angst-ridden plights.
No fear and no pain,
Nothing taxing the brain,
Just horny Rangers in and out of their tights.
Just sit back and follow my song.
I'm sure that you won't get it wrong.
We'll let Adam begin...
Zordon comes at the end...
You may come as we go along....
AlphaBeta: Act I
A is for Adam in Black,
Who had an unusual knack.
A most rapid recovery
(Aisha's discovery)
Which made him quite good in the sack.
B is for Billy in Blue.
Oh, what's a young genius to do?
When Zachary's erection
Changed his telescope's direction,
He was in for one hell of a view!
Carlos was really quite new.
With sex he'd had nothing to do.
Then old-timer Adam
Just had to have him,
And now he'll quite merrily screw.
Divatox, in size Double DD,
Spends most of her time under sea.
At her cleavage we'd stare,
If she'd come up for air.
Her tongue qualifies her for OVG!
Does Ernie believe their excuses?
His bar Rangers put to such uses!
In broom closets and showers
They shag away hours.
His drinks aren't their favorite juices!
F is for Fun in the Sun,
On the sand, in the sea--either one.
Rocky thinks it's so cute
To steal both of their suits
Now Kim and Tommy have nowhere to run.
Gold Ranger Jason is G.
He went searching through Trey's toiletries.
A Triforian potion
Gave him the notion
That good things sure do come in threes.
H is for hormonal teens.
The Rangers live out all our dreams.
By twos and by threes,
On the ground, in the trees,
If only we were all this obscene!
I is for what we all scream,
But cooling down's not what it seems.
To be cold as ice
Might be ever so nice,
But the Rangers all come for the cream.
J is for Jason in Red
Whom Tommy found tied up in bed,
All covered in goo
(And marshmallows too)
But the joke was on Trini instead.
K is for Kim all in Pink.
The Hate Master's spell made her think
That bondage and whips,
Feathers, nipple clips,
Were all most delightfully kink.
L is for Billy's own blend,
A concoction on which Rangers depend.
To ease penetration,
His cherry Lubrication
Helps all of them out in the end.
The Sultan's Magic Bottle is M.
Inside, Rocky finds awaiting him
A blowjob from Billy,
And chickens (how silly!),
But the best is the spanking from Kim!
INTERMISSION
N is for Nothing, I guess--
Even Rangers and Rhymers need rest.
Have a drink (two or three),
And some vitamin E,
Then it's on to Act II all refreshed!!!
AlphaBeta: Act II
O is for Orgies galore,
Rangers twisting all over the floor.
Whether saying "Farewell,"
Or just, "What the hell,"
They always have room for one more!
P is for Pink Ladies three.
Kim started it all in a tree.
Kat's sensitive butt--
Cassie's boots for a slut--
Pink must not promote purity!
When Rangers are in need of a Quickie,
They realize they can't be too picky.
They come on the fly
With a girl or a guy,
Then they're gone, leaving spots that are sticky.
R is for Rocky in Red.
In a rowboat he gave Billy head.
On the rooftop he'll fuck,
In the back of his truck,
He once took his ownself to bed.
S is for Spandex elastic,
In which Ranger ass looks fantastic.
If it weren't for Kim's skirt,
All the fellows would spurt,
Cause pink tights make everyone spastic.
T is for Trini in Yellow,
A woman so tranquil and mellow.
But thanks to the Power,
One time, in the shower,
Kim found her one heck of a fellow!
Up on the rooftop Kat sits,
'Cause a houseful of guests gives her fits.
She brought along her toy
In lieu of a boy...
Now here comes her daddy. "Oh shit!"
V is for Zordon's diversions--
He can no longer go out on excursions.
Of course, he'd prefer
Not to be a Voyeur,
But to indulge in some hands-on perversions.
W's for Tommy in White.
He took his zord on a test flight.
The falcon's vibrations
Gave Kim such elations,
They hope Billy won't fix it right.
XXX is for OVG's rating,
For in detail these stories are relating
The sexual themes
From all our wet-dreams...
An infinite assortment of matings.
Yellow-clad Tanya is Y.
She prays that her folks won't ask why
Her backseat repose
Includes slurps, grunts and "Ohhhhhs!"--
She even swallowed so the seat would stay dry.
Z is for Zordon, who's led
A double life, as we have said.
He watches his tapes
And then ... masturbates???
He's got more than a big giant head!!!
Now I've sung my OVG's--
Next time won't you shag with me!!!
Apologia
(Rendered in Heroic Couplets for Coupling Heroes)
Now that we've all reached the end,
My rhymes I pray you not to rend.
If fun is what you have desired,
Well, that's just what the Power's inspired.
And if sex is written with style,
Then you'll come, but you'll also smile.
So though my doggerel may make you groan,
Please, throw me a frickin' bone!
It's sex, not art, that you crave,
So Austin's warning to you: "Oh, Behave!"
But if my poems have brought a gleam to your eye,
Well, I'm sorry that bug up your ass had to die.
End
