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Author's Note: Put your chins up. Be determined. Welcome to the Muse Academy.

The Muse Academy
by Mistri, Cho's Observer

While the eight muses were supposedly at my good friend Dagmar's, frolicking with Ted and who knows who else, I began to think back to the times they had spoken of....

The times of the Muse Academy.

Where you learnt the rules of Musekind. If they so deigned, the Nine Muses would visit. And where you learnt how to be corrupt, tweak your contract, behave in an socially inappropriate way and get away with it. These were the unadvertised courses...

The courses only take a year, so I'm told.

My bunch were in the Muse Academy for a grand total of three years, six months, seventeen days, six hours, fifty-three minutes and eight seconds.

During that time, they accumulated between them:

  1. six hundred and ninety thousand, one hundred and seventy two detentions. [I'm at a loss to explain how they served these. For that matter, how did they get them?]
  2. four hundred and thirty-six visits with the director.
  3. twelve hundred thousand visits with the Muse counsellor.
  4. And continual assessment.

Plus other stuff.... Now. The Muses took courses like:

  1. How To Produce Effective Ideas For Your Author.
  2. Rules Of Fanfiction.
  3. Knowing When Your Author Is Being Pushed Too Far.
  4. How To Negotiate A Standard Muse Contract.

Now.... there are several muse courses that you can take... but they're not catered for. Just to name a few..

  1. How To Insult Your Author.
  2. How To Not Work.
  3. The Joy Of Following Mundanes Around.

While their reports say they obtained the highest marks in their graduating class, I really don't know how they managed that. They don't produce ideas, they prefer following illogical processes in fanfiction, they ignore all signs of my being pushed, and the SMC is technically void since they won't follow it.

And at the graduation ceremony Geneva, Calika, Ebrale, Lares, Kalends, and Vedic were so annoyed at not being included in the planning that they booby trapped the whole place, and dropped out three minutes before Graduation on the grounds that they hadn't been consulted about anything in the Graduation Ceremony when it was supposed to be a group effort.

Then Destini and Brlyn got invited to leave after backing them up, but they refused, and barely graduated, since the whole class was hospitalized due to the booby traps. And Destini and Brlyn had one hell of a time convincing the officials that they had nothing to do with it. Poor girls.

That was about July 2001. In August 2001, Geneva, Calika, Ebrale, Lares, Kalends, and Vedic were given to me along with a knighthood, since no one else wanted them, based on their reps. Non-refundable. Well... I never paid any money anyway.... Then about December 01/January 02, Destini and Brlyn arrived, with a lifetime supply of Muse Treats. No one wanted them either, based on their reps.

So... the girls and I have a rocky relationship... And it don't help when they hang with seven Mundanes at my school. Mundanes for those who don't know, are people who don't believe in Muses. They're damn lucky.

Geneva goes around with Gemma Neal. Calika used to hang with Gesica Casanova, now hangs with Lares. Ebrale stays with Ebony Preen. Lares 'helps' Ashley Saye. Kalends 'advises' Karina Goard. Vedic 'consults' with Veronica Larkin. Destini 'collaborates' with Dallen Peterson. And Brlyn visits with Brooke Huuskes.

Helps? Not at all. Advises? As if! Consults? Doesn't that need at least two people? Collaborates? Needs two or more people!

Anyway, I left my Studies Of Religion I class after an interesting convo with Kalends Kwan.

"Where have you been?"

"I got separated from the others, and came back."

"Why for the love of Wild Force!?"

"It's Karina's birthday tomorrow, and I wanted to wish her a happy birthday... even though she didn't invite me to her party!"

"Karina is what we call a Mundane! She doesn't believe in you!"

"Well, I'm named for her! With that honor, why wouldn't she?"

"Kalends Kwan! Get back to Ted's, find the others, and don't worry me ever again!"

"And I'll wish her a happy birthday. But she's still an Unbeliever!"

"That doesn't matter!"

"Just because you hang with her at school, Kalends, thereby making it difficult for me, doesn't mean that anytime soon, Karina will believe in Muses!"

"But we're fun!"

"Well, duh! I know that, you know that, but she doesn't! And I'll have you know, her being School Captain of Holy Spirit College, doesn't make her a believer!"

"You're just jealous!"

"Of what?" I asked, rolling my eyes. As if I'd be jealous of some Muse Karina didn't believe in.

"I spend more time with her than you," she said, with a smug smile.

"Um, she doesn't believe in you. Therefore, all time spent with her is non-existant."


And off she went, grumbling.

"Lousy Musazoid..." she muttered.

"I heard that, Kalends Kwan!"

And who wants this bunch of Muse Academy rejects? I guess the fun times we have make up for it.....

And why did they abandon the personal forms....