The Tick

From: The Tick vs. Brainchild
"Evil! Evil! I'm beside myself with evil!"

From: The Tick vs. BreadmasterSmiling Tick

"So warm...So soft...could sleep forever. No!!! Must fight, mustn't succumb to the rapture of the bread!" (When trapped in an exploding loaf)
"Egad! A crumb, an errant particle? I am besmirched!" (Being told by Arthur about a bit of yuck on his face)
"Yeast Devil! Back to the oven that baked you!" (Fighting back one of the Breadmaster's bread bombs)
"Not baked goods, professor, baked bads!" (Describing the various devices of the Breadmaster)
"When he gets to the sugar, he'll find the bitter taste of justice!"
"Your culinary crime wave has just crashed against the shores of justice!"
"Chef of chicanery! Your buns are mine!"
"More thinking? We are well-challenged, my small friend"
"I'm betting that I'm just abnormal enough to survive."
"Let us not forget the lesson that we can learn from this, Arthur, that man was not meant to tamper with the four basic food groups."

From: The Tick vs. Chairface Chippendale
"The Tick caters to no man!" (When told that he would have to dress up as a caterer to sneak into Chairface's party).
"A heart of gold beats under that big fiberglass croissant, Arthur. And thank goodness for it! It's spirit like hers that allowed us to thwart Chairface's evil scheme and thwart we did."

From: The Tick vs. El Seed
"I hate broccoli, and yet, in a certain sense, I am broccoli." (After starting to show the effects of being sprayed with the vegetation vitalizer)
"Villains always have antidotes...they're funny that way."
"Life is a big wild crazy tossed salad, but you don't eat it, no sir! You live it! Isn't it great?"

From: The Tick vs. Mr. Mental
"The night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks." Didn't find the Tick, but I found a beautiful pie." (A Sewer Urchinism) A day job... in an office? My worst nightmare!" (Ticknophobia) The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys. When it's used for evil, watch out! But when it's used for good, then things are much nicer."


From: The Tick vs. Dinosaur Neil
"Family Values! You're crazy for that sibling!" (Describing Arthur's feelings for his sister)
"He has the moustache of a titan!" (Tangling with Dinosaur Neil's facial hair)
"Well, once again my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice, it gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences,...but the other head of science is bad! Oh beware the other head of science, Arthur, it bites!"

From: The Tick vs. Pineapple Pokopo
"Slideshow... boring. Losing... consciousness." (Losing consciousness during a briefing about his mission)
"Let's hang ten for justice!"
"You know gang, when you're a superhero, you never know where the day will take you. You may find yourself halfway around the world in the shark-infested waters of true-to-life living. Or you may find yourself going down to the store for a lozenge. You can't know, can you? No! You gotta ride that wave, You gotta suck that lozenge! Cause if you don't, who will?"

From: The Tick vs. The Proto-Clown
"It's starting to smell a little like danger in here, or heavily fried food."
"Well, once again we find that clowning and anarchy don't mix. And even though evil may wear big floppy pants, it ARRRRRGH!..." (Finding out that he had not quite finished off the Proto-Clown)
"Yes, yes, it's so true. We're all born into the cold unyielding world of nothing, no blankets, no glove and scarf gift sets, and why? Why?" (The Tick's mind trying to read too much into one of the Tick's statements)
"Oh what a goofy work is man!"

From: The Tick vs. The Idea Men
"Ladies and gentlemen, you might want to shield yourselves with your dessert menus, I might be dangerous!" (Introducing himself to the superhero convention)
"Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere. You don't fight destiny, no sir! And you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all...scratchy. Hey, I'm narrating here!"
"The The City" (Upon arriving at The City)
"I'll just bounce off that flag pole....Gravity is a harsh mistress." (Jumping onto and missing a flag pole)
"City, it is I, the Tick, your destined me where it hurts!"
"Uh, yeah I suck blood all the time. Look I got a straw right here pal, you want a demonstration?!" (Defending his choice to call himself the Tick)
"Hey cool! They got a blimp!"
"You're not going crazy, you're going sane in a crazy world!" (Reassuring his sidekick Arthur's misgivings)
"My goodness, I'm a walking time-bomb!" (After getting his hand stuck in an explosive device)
"And so, may evil beware and may good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables."


From: The Tick vs. Arthur's Bank Account
"Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she's pushing!" (Describing his obligation to fight the Terror)
"Evil, chum, is ever green!"
"Not in the face, not in the face!" (An Arthurism! His battle cry)
"Spooooooooooon!" (The Tick's battle-cry!)
"When no one understands you for the little things you do. When destiny she strands you or wears you like a shoe. That's when you know it's over man, that's when you know you're through. I never thought I'd be so big and blue." (Tick sings?!?)
"Yeah..even now he sulks like Achilles in his tent. Achilles?...It's the Iliad?...It's Homer?... Read a book!" (Handy, One Ton's puppet, trying to explain something)
"Hah...hah..hah...your Tick won't come! He's sulking in his tent like a guy from Chile....." (One Ton) "You're making us look like jerks!...I told you, read a BOOK!." (Handy's retort)
"We all enjoyed saving your life." (A speech after saving the mayor's life)
"Yes, evil comes in many forms, whether it be a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin, but you can't let the package hide the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog! Bad dog!"
"On justice and on friendship, there is no price, but there are established credit limits."

From: The Tick vs. The Mole-Men
"Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate" (During spring cleaning)
"Yes! I'm doing laundry!" (Overwhelmed by simple pleasures)
"I won't hesitate to forsake species for combat!" (Confronted by a metallic machine with arachnid characteristics)
"Supermodels usually don't date guys who live in the dirt." (Trying to deter the mole king from hitting on a surface girl)
"Hey, you're the guy who made my head hot! Well, you're not going to make my friends' heads hot!" (Confronting the lava-man)

From: The Tick vs. The Tick
"I am mighty! I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon, as warm as bathwater. We're superheroes, man! We don't have time to be charming! The boots of evil were made for walking. We're watching the big picture, friend. We know the score. We are a public service, not glamour boys! Not captains of industry! Not makers of things! Keep your vulgar moneys. We are a justice sandwich, no toppings necessary! Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you...dig?" (Rambling during a television interview)
"I get it, spelling America with a 'k', are we?" (Perturbed at the carding policy of the Comet Club)
"Yeah, well, don't count your weasels before they pop, dink!" (Surprising Barry, the villain)
"Head spinning, ears ringing,, more of a throbbing, really. But regardless, OUCH!" (Pinned against the wall by Barry's shield)
"Can't lose my name, it's on all my stationery!" (Rallying himself against Barry, the villain who wants the Tick to give up his superhero name)

Tick with Stop Sign

From: Alone Together
"One small step for The Tick, one giant step... for say... a little bug or some guy who has been shrunk to the size of a little penny." (Debarking onto moon's surface)
"I'm watching you too, world!" (Replying to Arthur's statement of "The whole world is watching.")
"Space, the final frontier, the great black blanket. Man, a guy can get bored out here. hurts." (Drifting in space)
"So the cosmic circus moves along, its tiniest clown gone to rejoin it once again." (Removing planetoid from Omnipotus)
"You know Arthur, when you spend two months riding around on a really big man, you start to learn a few things about yourself. You learn that it is a really great thing to stay on Earth and live in a place that has no arms or legs of its own. And most importantly, Arthur, you learn how to close you eyes and tell yourself that this just isn't happening to me. So, did you miss me?"

From: Ants in Pants
"Well nigh perfect really, but pretty good. Somewhere between very good and vigilante. He watches the waking city, his majestic form cutting the crisp morning air." (Opening monologue)
"Already a challenge! Ah, the joys of the mundane." (Asked to help fold the sheets)
"Aha, yes I see...a choreographic conundrum. Whoa, well that was a little dancey. You know why supervillains are so unhappy Arthur? They don't treasure the little things." (Folding sheet).
"Hey! You in the pumps! I say to you, Stop being BAD!" (Chasing ant lady with stolen glass.)
"Aha! So bad lady, fate has put a dead end to your anarchy dabbling!" (Cornering ant lady in dead end alley)
"Ahh! Uh, oh, ah, oh you got a little... something... on your face... I,... ga,... uh..., oops.... Ah... Ugh... Ah... Ants in pants!... Ants in pants!... AHHH!... UHHHH!... WHAAAAA!... AHHH!!!... UHHHHH!... Uhuhuh!" (Encounter with ant lady)
"I had a coupon!" (Replying to question "And so you chose to come to Captain Sanity's Superhero Sanitarium?")
"And that's just it doc, my mind has always been my Achilles' Heel!" (Responding to question from Sanity)
"Sanity! You're a madman!" (Reply to Sanity)
"You know, come to think of it, I'm not afraid of ants. I never was. It's just when they all come running out of a lady's pants like that...yech...creepy. And isn't sanity really just a one trick pony anyway? I mean all of you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh oooh oooh, the sky is the limit!"

From: Armless But Not Harmless
"Villain love goddess! You toy with the hearts of men!" (Confronting Venus)
"When evil sees a twin headed, Arthur powered, flying engine of justice barreling down upon it, great will be its trembling!" (Practicing maneuver 14C)
"Remember yesterday Arthur? I'd hand you something, you might hand me something back. I would scratch my nose, you could scratch your nose. You could scratch my nose, I could scratch your nose. Oh there was much nose scratching and much rejoicing, now look... Alas!"
"This place is padded with evil characters and we're unarmed!"
"Don't make us bite you in hard to reach places!"
"Eating kittens is just plain..plain WRONG! And no one should do it; EVER!"
"Arthur this is a truly frightening moment...What if we're no good? I never had tap lessons." (Preparing to perform for Enemy Awards)
"Oh It is we who should be sorry. Arthur and I have the utmost respect for the law. And we never would have run from you had it not been absolutely necessary and in the service of a greater good. AAAHH!! You know Arthur, when evil is afoot and you don't have any arms, you gotta use your head. And when evil is ahead and you're behind you gotta do the legwork but when you can't get a leg up, you gotta be hip, you gotta keep your leg up, you gotta kick some... Well, sidekick give me some of them arms."

From: Bloomsday
"Bloom little leafling, make good your hold upon the world" (Talking to plant)
"Aha! The bad way! How bad is that?" (When told that the plant would bloom in the bad way)
"Those accursed super monkeys have tossed themselves into my salad once again." (El Seedism)
"American Maid! I need your finger." (When combating carnivorous plant)
"Vile vine, now maybe you'll think twice before you eat another human being." (Scolding defeated plant)
"You better turn over a new leaf, El Seed, or I'll turn it over for you!" (American Maidism)
"Well it just goes to show, Mother Nature has a load of tricks up her green sleeves. And tonight she really put her foot down. Yes here's your little flower, professor. And next time it blooms, may it bloom in the good way!"

From: Coach Fussell's Lament
"Mad Nanny! If you harm a hair on this greasy spoon's head, you'll have the Tick to answer to." (Defending diner from mad nanny)
"You just toasted the best BLT joint in the tri-state area, prepare to pick up the tab!" (Reprimanding after diner's destruction)
"Evil has been routed and the babysitter's paid. Come here heroes, our jobs done." (After Brainchild's defeat)
"You know though today was the worst day of my life, I learned many things. First, the world looks a lot different when you're six inches tall and covered in feathers. Second, two heads are definitely not better than one. And, finally you CAN lay an egg and still feel like a man!"
"Oh no! My baby!... Oooh, chocolate!... Anyone want some?" (After dropping his egg)

From: The Tick vs. The Uncommon Cold
"Mucous, the scourge of mankind" (After a sneeze)
"Arthur, I just had the strangest dream. I was taking some math test I hadn't studied for... and then you tried to saw off my head. Weird, huh?" (After being woken up by an attempt by Arthur's evil clone to get a tissue sample from his head)
"Nobody mucks around with the Tick's bodily membranes! Prepare for swift Justice!" (Confronting Thrakkerzog)
"So foul gelatin, you would do battle with the nose of your birth?" (Confronting his clone made from his mucous)
"Mucal invader, is there no end to your oozing?!" (During battle with his clone)
"I don't know the meaning of the word surrender! I mean, I know it, I'm not dumb...just not in this context." (When given the option to surrender by Thrakkerzog)
"Wait a second! Smells like...ambush!"

From: Evil Sits Down For a Moment
"Yeah I agree, falling in love with a supervillain is trouble with a capital TROUB!"
"Everybody just butt out! I'm not in love with her! I'm Die Fledermaus! The only person that I'm in love with is me and I'm out of here!" (Die Fledermaus trying to explain his actions)
"M...M...Married? All so sudden...the rest of our lives? Air getting thin....It's just that marriage is kinda of a big word for me. Not that you're not the one baby, but I've been burned in the past and I'm not trying to say that I'm not a commitment kind of guy. It's just that, well, you'll be working such long hours, sowing fear and all, we never get to see each other." (Die Fledermaus responding to Ottoman's marriage statement)
"Ottoman, there'll be no Justice of the Peace for you; just a big piece of justice!"
"Hmm, a loyal colleague: helps a lot of people, wouldn't let me fall....wants to tie me down, force for evil... Airplane!" (Die Fledermaus trying to decide between American Maid or Ottoman)
"Well you're so very kind to be concerned little moth man. You and your cleaning woman here must be my guests this evening at my villa." (After being struck by train)
"Sasparilla and fresh horses for all my men."
"Conserve energy little moth man, for tonight we dance."
"If we don't put that crazy dame away, she's going to marry me! Get down...close the shades!" (Die Fledermaus trying to escape the clutches of the Ottoman)
"I'm to be addressed as Duchess....ah splendid."
"So Die Fledermaus, you refuse to marry me? Fine! Well you'll be destroyed with the rest of them. I'm no stranger to loneliness. I grew up lonely, no brothers, no sisters, no playmates, no pets. The only friends I had were furniture. I played with furniture, I talked to furniture, I listened to furniture, I thought I was furniture. Until I turned thirteen, I was a coffee table." (Ottomanism)
"Don't ever try to marry me again!" (Die Fledermausism)
"Oh look Arthur, it's a completely rehabilitated villain. She's comfortable with herself. Comfort, commitment, marriage, what do these things have in common? The letter C except for marriage and if people get all British whenever they get knocked on the head, what do British people get?...I know...Comatose!..Another C."

Those Darn Ninjas... They're Wacky

From: Grandpa Wore Tights
"Arthur, you have no historical perspective. Science in those days worked in broad strokes. They got right to the point. Nowadays, it's all just molecule, molecule, molecule. Nothing ever happens big."
"Well that was an Oedipal moment... Sophocles?... Oedipus Tyrannus?... The guy plucks his own eyes out... Read a Book!" (Handy explaining reference to Visual Eye's power)
"So once again, we find that the evil of the past seeps into the present like salad dressing through cheap wax paper mixing memory and desire."

From: Heroes
"Yeah, the first patrol is usually pretty quiet. Your average villain prefers the cover of night. You get the occasional evil morning person but rarely before seven. I don't know why that is. By seven-thirty, eight o'clock, evil is wide awake. But we're even wider! We've been up since six-thirty! Hello TV land! I love this show! I watch this every week." (Explaining patrolling)
"I'm sure millions of viewers out there are just wondering what's it like to wear the tights of justice. Well, it's tinglely and it's uncomfortable, but it gets the job done and oh the job of it!" (Explaining blue suit)
"Heh...heh...heh...close call eh? Here's a little tip. Leap before you look!" (Explaining how leaping works to camera person)
"Arthur! Honk if you love justice!" (Beseeching Arthur to demonstrate horn)
"Deadly Bulb, I'm about to write you a reality check! Or would you prefer the cold hard cash of truth?" (Confronting Deadly Bulb)
"Oh Whoa! KEEN! TICK cam!" (Fascinated with personal camera)
"After years of superhero training, you start to notice that a lot of these villains kinda have a motif going. In fact, I bet my bottom dollar that the four story tall light bulb there has got something to do with the Deadly Bulb. Plus, that's Arthur." (Explaining how villainy works)
"This is what we heroes call the denouement, that's French for when we finish off the supervillains... huh?... huh?... Roof pig, most unexpected." (Climbing up side of building)
"So warm, so bright, itchy all over. I'm twinkling...I'm twinkling. I'm a blazing furnace of light etched into the firmament. I got me a celestial body now. Ooh, hotter, brighter, I'm a fiery new sun.." (Acting as light bulb filament)
"Huh? The universe is over and my solar life had just begun. I gotta find a new place to shine! Happy me, I'm the biggest, brightest, ball of gas in the cosmos." (After light bulb is turned off)
"Oh look, a little lumpy white planet...Oh, it's a chatty misshapen thing devoid of life... I will breath my warmth upon it." (Seeing Arthur after being a light bulb filament)
"Well folks, there you have it. A day in the life of a superhero and his sidekick. It's a very long day, the tights are uncomfortable; I think we covered that before. Map light, convenient and essential. A lot of working of villain motifs. Crime has a bossanova beat. Leap before you look. Remember denouement. Other French words: inconvenient, nonessential...Oh...I could go on and on...but time's a wasting and evil's out there making hand crafted mischief for the swap meet of villainy. And you can't strike a good deal with evil. No matter how much you haggle! We don't need to look for a bargain; goodness is cheap because it's free and free is as cheap as it gets. Cut!....What was that pig about?"

From: The Little Wooden Boy and the Belly of Love
"Yes, my slimy friend, once again slime does not pay! You can't just coat yourself with artificial mucous and slip through the long fingers of the law. It's wrong and it's gross." (Lecturing criminal fish)
"Don't ever try to swim against the mighty tide of justice"
"Patrolling without a sidekick, it's unnatural!"
"What's this?! It's a little boy's face! OH don't worry little boy, I'll free you from this block of wood." (Carving his new sidekick)
"Little wooden boy, you take that one!" (Hurling wooden boy at evil-doer)
"You know Arthur, it's really been quite a day. On the outside, on the surface, oh sure, we were pursued by Swiss industrial spies, trapped in the belly of a whale. But what really pursued us? Where were we really trapped? C'mon Arthur! Get Meta with me! What pursued us were our own obsessions. I'm good, you're evil. I'm a super hero, you're a sidekick. I'm a woman, you're a man. What does it all mean? Nothing! And where were we all trapped? I'll tell you where Arthur! In the belly of love, love chum! Love."

From: The Tick vs. Reno, Nevada
"Below I dream of fish, above me wretched siblings prance in sequins." (Haiku)
"Arthur, help, help us... They stole Monsieur Smarty Pants. We lost our porpoise" (Entertainers seeking aid from Arthur)
"Okay Jack, this little minnow has been playing hookie. Any idea where it goes to school?" (Tick interrogating fish store owner)
"Sorin's lips are blue. I think he's cold. It makes me sad. I hope we live." (Bad Haiku)
"And my middle name used to be 'helping people.' The 'helping people' Tick." (Tick responding to Arthur's scolding)
"Someone come and pummel this annoying person!" (The Fin's response to Arthur)
"And so Arthur, we learned that gambling is bad and yet in a certain sense isn't life itself a gamble? You can never really be sure of anything. Like who would have thought that dolphins could go bad and that fish were magnetic. Not me, no sir, not me."

From: The Tick Loves Santa!
"But they're dancing, Arthur! They're dancing in my head!" (Sugarplums, of course!)
"Arthur! There's only 172,800 shopping seconds until Christmas! Oooh... there goes another one!"
"It's Santa!... But Arthur, look at those rosy cheeks, cottony beard, and watch... heee... hee... heee... the belly jiggles just like a bowl of jelly." (Running into Charlatan Santa)
"I know! He got fried." (Tick's response to Die Fledermaus informing him that there is no Santa Claus.)
"Wait a minute you! I heard about people like you. Are you saying 'You don't believe in Santa Claus?!' and you call yourself SUPERHEROES?"
"So...Tick. Interesting strategy last night...You know (heh, heh) the one where you just...Oh, stood there in the middle of the fight and did absolutely nothing while the rest of us got CREAMED!" (Die Fledermaus chastising Tick for not helping fight the Multiple Santas)
"Here's a clue...If he jumps up and kicks you in the stomach, it's probably not Santa." (Die Fledermaus responding to Tick's pondering about any of the Multiple Santas possibly being real)
"It's a YULE TIDE!" (Encountering avalanche of charlatan Santas)
"Like a great blue salmon of justice, the mighty TICK courses upstream to the very spawning ground of evil!" (Struggling against tide of charlatan Santas)
"Arthur! Static electricity shorts them out. Their Achilles heel is the noogie!" (After giving a noogie to a clone Santa and watching it poof)
"Lowly wretch! This is the last time you make epic naughty in Santa threads!"
"You know Arthur, this strange Christmas episode has taught us much. Now we know that Santa Claus is real. He's a compulsive gift giver and he's Christmas all over. We, like his wondrous reindeers, should carry his message forward. So, shove that bit in your mouth! Shake your mossy antlers and strike your hooves against the sky! Or just wake up and open your presents. I mean, hey, it's Christmas!... Arthur! My... my... dancing sugar plums! They're back! Merry Christmas to you Arthur! Merry Christmas!"

From: Leonardo DaVinci and His Fightin' Genius Time Commandos!
"I'm flying!... I swoop... I soar.... The city laps at my heels like a grateful puppy. I am the eagle king of all I survey. I have become Shiva, destroyer of worlds!" (Tick transported by Arthur and Leonardo by air)
"Oh... Nose itch, yes now... must scratch nose... Oh... ooh... Oh yes... that's so good!" (Having itchy nose scratched in mid-air)
"You know... I've heard the smarter you are, the more wrinkly your brain. And you guys' brains must be the wrinkliest! Oh sure, ordinary Joes like me and Arthur here, maybe our brains are a little on the smooth side. But you don't have to be a genius to know that evil is bad!... And Good... isn't!"

From: The Tick vs. The Big Nothing
"Oh science... boring... interest fading..." (Listening to big bang theory)
"Hey, we've got these on Earth. We knock them into little pockets with sticks. Uh-huh, and we got higher numbers too." (Referring to infinity ball)
"Got to pull myself together... must defy laws of physics...." (Retrieving doomsday device)

Evil, Beware!

From: The Tick vs. Education
"Evil... gathering like lint in the navel of the body public. Making vile and hasty its dark works, like termites pushing their wretched larvaes through the roots of that mighty oak tree we call... CLEAN LIVING! And it's up to you, the superheroes of the future to hand the tire swing of nice-nice from the highest branches and swing for justice! SWING! SWING! SWIIIIING!!!" (Teaching his class.)
"A feral child raised by twitchy rodents in the wilderness!" (Referring to The Flying Squirrel)
"It's okay to play with dolls!" (Baby Boomerang's battle cry)
"Think of it Arthur! We're teachers! Passing on the torch. Stretching the minds of a new generation on the rack of knowledge!"
"Spooo...eerrghhh!" (Being hit in the mouth with ice cream during his battle cry)
"Listen lady, I'm not a villain. I'm vanilla." (A Mr. Creamyism)
"One of the sidekick's most important jobs is to keep the superhero in touch with reality. Because in this business, reality can be pretty hard to come by."
"Perhaps she is possessed of a squirrely sixth sense...." (Referring to The Flying Squirrel)
"Just put your name, class number, and date in the top of the left hand corner of your paper." (Dazed by a fall)
"Mister?!? You are SUSPENDED!" (Delivering the knockout blow to Hunk-A-Creamy)
"But what have we really learned? Well, for one thing, not everyone can know everything. Some people don't know anything. I myself don't know much, but I do know this. That uh... well, that thing I just said."

From: That Mustache Feeling
"Well, apparently, I've been saving it up." (After Arthur asks how his mustache grew overnight)
"So... silky! So... smoothy!" (Admiring his mustache)
"I feel different... better... a new sensation spreading out from my upper lip to every other part of my body! It's a feeling I... I can't quite describe. It's a... it's a savvy kinda feeling... kind of... kind of a... mustache feeling!"
"Like a fireman! Or somebody's dad!" (Important people who have mustaches)
"Eyes playing tricks like tiny round devils...."
"I can't read your crazy moon language!"
"My mustache is touching my brain!"
"Well, Tick, looks like your... mustache... has a date in half an hour." (Taftism)
"Hey! That's a personal letter from my mustache to me!"
"Yeah... Think I permanently stretched my lips." (Sewer Urchin, after being dragged across the city by his new mustache)
"You know, Arthur, I may have lost my mustache, but I've gained... Uh... errrmm... I haven't gained a thing."

From: Devil In Diapers
"Arthur? Did we order a baby?" (Upon finding a tiny bundle of joy on his doorstep)
"Nobody mauls the Tick's sidekick, and nobody touches the Tick's baby. EVER!!!"
"We all at one time or another want... stuff."
"Euww! Unappealing!"
"Arthur! It's time to cut the cord!"
"Bite, lad! Bite that bad string!"
"Days from now, Arthur and I'll look around our empty apartment and wonder... where's baby? Where's our little bundle of joy? And he'll be in PRISON!!"
"Babies, chum. Tiny, dimpled, little mirrors of our 'usness' that we parents hurl into the future like leathery footballs of hope! And you gotta get a good spiral on that baby or evil will make an interception! Ready? Break! 1, 3, 13, 26, HIKE! Go deep, Arthur! GO DEEPER!!!"

Tick Whittling

From: The Tick vs. Dot and Neil's Wedding
"Whoa! Surprise hug from Mr. Freaky-Big!" (Getting fitted for a tux)
"Tick, you're not Jewish. I'm Jewish. Dot's Jewish. You're... blueish." (Arthurism)
"Ushers?! Prepare to ush!"
"Worry not, well-dressed avenger!" (reassuring Arthur)
"Rehab through photography, Arthur!" (Explaining his choice of photographers)
"I've wrestled his tongue!" (Explaining his closeness to Dinosaur Neil)
"Bad Baker! I've pitted my stomach against your perilous pastry before, and won! Today will be no different!"
"Brute bouquet, prepare to be stemmed!" (The man-eating plant)
"I hope that's kosher...." (Arthur's mother, referring to the rancid meat-encrusted sub)
"No time for sanity, chum!"
"Fear not. I'll handle his custard with the kiddiest of kid gloves!"
"Man, today is so loopy!"
"Step on it, chum, and don't spare the mucous!"
"Thank you for teaching us all that Love is thicker than most bodily membranes, but not quite as sticky. And that a heart full of love is better than a body full of people. Verily, the feet that carry us on the heart's path today will be the feet that soak in the steaming brew of happiness tomorrow!"


Despite the fact that he's only been in two episodes of The Tick, The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight is a very popular character. Here is thew complete collection of all of his best (and only) lines.

From: The Tick vs. The Tick
"He says to me, he says to me, you got STYLE, baby. But if you're going to be a real villain, you gotta get a gimmick. And so I go I says YEAH, baby. A gimmick, that's it. High explosives. Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!"
"Yeah? Keep playing with fire, superpants! You don't know how much fire you're playing with! Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!" (Seeing Barry ride past him on motorcycle)
"So he says to me, you gotta do something smart, baby. Something BIG! He says you wanna be a super villain, right? And I go yeah, baby, YEAH! YEAH! WHATTA I GOTTA DO? He says you got bombs, blow up the comet club, it's packed with super heroes, you'll go down in SUPER VILLAIN HISTORY! And I go yeah, baby, 'cause I'm the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight! Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!" (Upon arriving at the Comet Club)
"And so he says to me, you got legs, baby, you're everywhere. You're all over the place!" (Planting bomb in Comet Club bathroom)
"I- I- I just, uh, I just uh wanted to use the uh, uh, uh AND SO HE SAYS, EVIL'S OKAY IN MY BOOK, WHAT ABOUT YOURS? AND I GO YEAH BABY YEAH! YEAH! I... I... uh, just wanted to, uh, wash my hands?" (Responding to Arthur's inquiry)
"Oh, heh-heh, that's just I BOOM, BABY, BOOM! I'm the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight!...EAT MY SMOKE, COPPER!...Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!" (When Arthur inquiries about "Bomb" bag)
"AN OBJECT AT REST, CANNOT BE STOPPED!" (Planting bombs in Comet Club)
"And then I says, tell me I'm wrong! and he says I can't, baby, 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT!" (Planting bombs in Comet Club)
"This could happen to you, baby. This could happen TO ANYBODY!" (Planting bombs in Comet Club)
"And so he says I don't like the cut of your jib. And I go I says, IT'S THE ONLY JIB I GOT, BABY!" (Planting bombs in Comet Club)
"Hahahahaha! sixty seconds to midnight, sixty seconds to nowhere, baby! You have all become victims of the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs... Hey! PAY ATTENTION!" (Planting bombs in Comet Club)
"You'll never prove a thing copper, I'm just a part time electrician. I... I... I... BAD IS GOOD, BABY! DOWN WITH GOVERNMENT!" (After being apprehended)

From: Armless But Not Harmless
"He says to me, he says to me, baby I'm TIRED of workin' for the MAN! I says, I says, WHY DON'T YOU BLOW HIM TO BITS?" (Attempting to get into Enemy awards ceremony)
"Oh, but I'm bad, baby. Sssssss... One of these days, milkshake! BOOM!" (After being thrown by guard)
"So he says to me, you wanna be a bad guy? And I say yeah, baby! I wanna be bad! I SAYS, SURF'S UP, SPACE PONIES! I'M MAKING GRAVY WITHOUT THE LUMPS! Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!"