Thoughts For The Day
- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
- It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop
at the end.
- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
- Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around
- The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
- Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates
- Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
- When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else
decide to play chess?
- If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat
- The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.
- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.
- There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
- It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
- Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
- Failure is not getting knocked down... Its not getting back up!