Expression for High Stress Days

  1. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
  2. Don't bother me. I'm living happily everafter.
  3. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
  4. You! Off my planet!
  5. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
  6. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  7. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
  8. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
  9. Allow me to introduce my selves.
  10. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  11. Better living through denial.
  12. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  13. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.
  14. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
  15. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
  16. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
  17. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
  18. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
  19. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
  20. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
  21. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
  22. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
  23. One of us is thinking about sex... Okay, it's me.
  24. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  25. It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.
  26. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
  27. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
  28. Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!
  29. Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.
  30. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  31. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
  32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
  33. Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress."
  34. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work hereisdone.
  35. A woman's favourite position is CEO.
  36. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
  37. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
  38. Earth is full. Go home.
  39. Is it time for your medication or mine?
  40. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
  41. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
  42. I plead contemporary insanity.
  43. And which dwarf are you?
  44. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
  45. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  46. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  47. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
  48. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
  49. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
  50. Gene Police! Get out of the pool!