Found On Various E-mail Signatures....

  1. Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
  2. My Karma just ran over your Dogma!
  3. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamilar territory.
  4. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film!
  5. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
  6. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  7. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  8. I feel like I'm diagonally parked, in a parallel universe.
  9. She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
  10. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
  11. I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
  12. When shooting a mime, do you need a silencer?
  13. Honk if you love peace and quiet!
  14. Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
  15. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
  16. Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  17. Nothing is fool-proof because fools are so ingenius.
  18. Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
  19. Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
  20. Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth.
  21. A day without sun shine is like... night.
  22. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  23. When in darkness or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout.
  24. I think your hard drive has a slipped disk.
  25. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  27. Change is in evitable. Except from a vending machine.
  28. Dyslexics of the world, untie!
  29. I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
  30. Eagles may fly, but weasels aren't sucked into jets.
  31. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere!
  32. Inflation is when the buck doesn't stop anywhere.
  33. Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole bird.
  34. And then Adam said, "What's a head ache?"
  35. Cooking lesson #1, don't fry bacon in the nude!
  36. Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes! (Contributed by Jeremy Ray Logsdon...)
  37. Contributed by Julia:
    If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick. (Mark Twain)
    Dijon vu- the same mustard as before.
    A day without sunshine is like night.
    When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of it's nose?