MooWorthy Quotes
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Last Updated: July 22, 2000

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind ... it doesn't matter."
   ((Mark Twain)

"All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates."
   (Woody Allen)

"You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance."
   (Edward Flaherty)

"I have no trouble with my enemies. But my goddamn friends.... They are the ones that keep me walking the floor nights."
   (Oscar Levant)

"This is the sort of English up with which I will not put."
   (Winston Churchill)

"When I was a young boy, my father taught me that to be a good Catholic, I had to confess at church if I ever had impure thoughts about a girl. That very evening I had to rush to confess my sin. And the next night, and the next. After a week, I decided religion wasn't for me."
   (Cuban President Fidel Castro, in The Economist, Aug. 16th, l997)

"Old cartoonists never die, they just draw their last breath and go into a state of suspended animation."

"So often the first screw that works loose in a person's head is the one that holds the tongue in place."

"There is everything in a name. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but would not cost as much during the winter months."
   (George Ade)

"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago."
   (Bernard Berenson)

"Make 'em laugh!"
   (Cosmo Brown, Singin' in the Rain)

Brak: Zorak, I know what love is. Love is... never um... saying stuff.... Not having to... love is never... saying... I have a thing. Love... no. Love is never having to say "I love it!"
Zorak: Exactly how many marbles are you missing?!?
Brak: Wouldn't you like to know, Little Miss Fanny Fisher!
   (From Cartoon Planet)

"You start to think Love is an excess of emotion, a fine thing when borne by poets who died young or actresses who cried well. Yet there you were in a regular world where people got up and drove to work and wanted lives that matched the pictures of their parents at the weddings."
   (Brett Butler)

"They found the cure for apathy, but no one showed any interest in it."
   (George Carlin)

"I love being here in a great place of higher learning with a great group of morons."
   (Chevy Chase)

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Adored by little statesmen, philosophers, and divines."
   (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

"[Human beings] are as deathly afraid to live and love as we are to die."
   (R.D. Laing)

"Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important."
   (Janet Lane)

"A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child."
   (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

"When shooting elephants in Africa, I found the tusks very hard to remove, but in Alabama, the Tuscaloosa."
   (Groucho Marx)

"Die, my dear doctor? That's the last thing I shall do!"
   (Last words of Viscount Henry Palmerston)

"There's a lot of human nature in people."
   (Mark Twain)

"It isn't the great big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones."
   (Jean Webster)

"I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could."
   (Orson Wells)

"It's not the men in your life that counts, it's the life in your men."
   (Mae West)

"Violence sometimes may have cleared away obstructions quickly, but it never has proved itself creative."
   (Albert Einstein)

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you."
   (Rita Mae Brown)

contributed by Julia:
"I have not failed. I have discovered 1000 things that do not work."
   (Thomas Alva Edison)

"Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
   (Anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields

Contributed by: Smoores:
"I slept and dreamt that life was joy,
I woke and saw that life was service,
I acted and behold, service was joy."
   (Rabindranath Tagore)


"And isn't sanity just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick, rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy? Oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky's the limit!"
(The Tick)