New Versions for State Mottos
Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi.
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat.
Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing.
California: As Seen on TV.
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character.
Delaware: We Really Do Like the Chemicals in Our Water.
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids.
Georgia: We Put the 'Fun' in Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money).
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well, Okay, Maybe Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good.
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce The 'S'.
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free.
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things with Corn.
Kansas: First of the Rectangle States.
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names.
Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk, Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign!
Maine: Cold, But Damp.
Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware.
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets).
Michigan: First Line of Defense from the Canadians.
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000 Mosquitoes.
Mississippi: Come Feel Better about Your Own State.
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Taxes At Work.
Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else.
Nebraska: Ask about Our State Motto Contest.
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone.
New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets.
New York: "You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...."
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable.
North Dakota: We Really Are One of the 50 States!
Ohio: You'll Smell the Cows.
Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing.
Oregon: Spotted Owl ... It's What's for Dinner.
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal.
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY an Island.
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender.
South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.
Tennessee: The Educashun State.
Texas: Largest State in the Nation, Until Alaska.
Utah: Our Jesus is Better than Your Jesus.
Virginia: Who Says Government Officials and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State.
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family - Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese.