You Might Be In The Medical Field if....
- Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal
- Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.
- You find humor in other peoples stupidity.
- You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac
- Your idea of comforting a child is to place him in a papoose restraint.
- You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis.
- You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
- You believe Chocolate is a food group.
- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says,"Boy,
it sure is quiet around here.
- When you're out in public and you compliment a stranger on their
- You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the eternal
- You hate working nights with a full moon.
- You don't think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is appropriate for this
- You have wanted to give a seminar on "SUICIDE: Doing it Right the
- You have had to leave a pt's room before you laugh uncontrollably.
- You think coffee should be available in IV form.
- You have ever restrained someone and it was NOT a sexual experience.
- You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.
- If you have ever referred to a Paramedic as a "Shit magnate".
- You believe that the waiting room should have Valium Salt Licks.
- You have ever wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to the
- When ordering labs the Doctor wants to order a "dumb shit" lab.
- When you mention vegetable you aren't talking about the food group.
- You are totally astounded when someone from the lab speaks English.
- You have been exposed to so many x-rays that you say, "No, I don't
have to be worried about birth control... I've been irradiated."
- Your patient states, "I have no idea how that got stuck up there."
- You have your weekends all marked and planned for the year.
- You encourage an obnoxious person to sign an AMA just so you don't
have to deal with them anymore.
- You use your status to get out of a speeding ticket.
- You use the word GOMER in a sentence more than once a shift.
- You have ever bet on someones blood alcohol level.
- You threaten to use "the hose" if your patient won't give a urine
- After someone tells you how many drinks they've had, you ask... "How
big were those drinks."