Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys. The kids always wanted to play "war" and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game. His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, Bang!" Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was alright. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, "Sh-h-h, I always do this. It's the only chance I get to rest."
8-year-old Daniel heard his grandmother tell his mother that a football was needed for the family dinner Sunday night. Daniel couldn't imagine why, but if he could help grandma prepare the meal, he would. But he didn't have a football, so he went over to Greg's house and traded 50 baseball cards for an old deflated football. He pumped it up, shined it and placed it on the kitchen table waiting for grandma to discover it. "Daniel!" his mother exclaimed, "You know Grandma is cooking tonight. Please put your things where they belong!" Daniel was holding back the tears, "But it's for Grandma! She said she needed a football for dinner." Mother did her best to hold back the laughter, "You know Grandma and her Irish accent. She meant a FRUIT BOWL!"
One Saturday morning a suburban Nashville grandmother remarked to her neighbor that she was going to get her 12-year-old grandson to wash the car when he came over to visit. Not to be outdone, the neighbor lady bragged that her 8-year-old grandson would pick up tree limbs that were scattered around the yard. You guessed it. An hour later one grandma was washing a car while the other was picking up branches.
The Bennett family had just moved into the neighborhood and was anxious to make a good impression. But the neighbors seemed busy and not interested. One day Matthew, their youngest boy, ran into the house and announced, "Ma, a lady down the street just asked me my name!" Mother replied, "Great! And then what happened?" Matthew said, "Oh, she gave it to the policeman."
Here's another police report: My brother remembers the day when a police car pulled up to grandma's house and grandpa got out. The officer explained that this elderly gentlemen said he was lost in the park. "Why, Bill," said Grandma, "You've been going there for over 30 years! How could you get lost?" Leaning close to Grandma so the police officer couldn't hear, he whispered, "Wasn't exactly lost. I was just to tired to walk home."