Welcome To Hell....
One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing
in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.
Devil: Why so glum?
Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.
Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.
You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure I love to drink.
Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. On Mondays that's
all we do. Drink, Drink, Drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers,
diet tab... We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Devil: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer,
it's okay...you're already dead!
Guy: No way!
Devil: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack,
horse races; you name it. We've even opened up a Pai Gow poker table.
Guy: Hmmm, I've never played pai gow before ...
Devil: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?
Guy: Yes, I love drugs! You don't mean ...
Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a big
bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of your head. You can do all the
drugs you want. If you overdose? It's okay! You're already dead!
Guy: Yes! I never realized that hell was such a swinging place!
Devil: So... are you gay?
Guy: Uh, no.
Devil: Ooooh (grimaces), you are gonna hate Fridays!