The Year's Best Actual Headlines

1. Concorde Bodies Found, Eyes on Black Box
2. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
3. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
4. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
5. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
6. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
7. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
8. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
9. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
10. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
11. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
12. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
13. Eye Drops Off Shelf
14. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
15. Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
16. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
17. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
18. Miners Refuse To Work After Death
19. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
20. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
21. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter 21.
22. Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years
23. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
24. War Dims Hope For Peace
25. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
26. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
27. Deer Kill 17,000
28. Enfields Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
29. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
30. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
31. Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
32. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group
33. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
34. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
35. Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy
36. Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire
37. Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
38. Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half
39. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
40. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
41. Christmas Trees Don't Grow On Trees
42. Hemorrhoids Inspire Respectful Hindsight
43. Stiff Opposition Expected To Casketless Funeral Plan
44. Crime: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
45. Woman Rents House But Complains About Corpse
46. Cockroach Slain, Husband Badly Hurt
47. Huang To Be Questioned In Suit
48. Collegians Are Turning To Vegetables
49. Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
50. Police Discover Crack In Australia
51. Storm Delayed By Bad Weather