I Wish I Were a Bear

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could get used to that.

And another thing:
before you hibernate,
you're supposed to eat yourself silly.
That wouldn't bother me either.

If you're a mama bear,
everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

Your husband expects you
to growl when you wake up.
He expects you to have hairy legs
and excess body fat.
He likes it.

I wish I were a bear.