58 Politically Correct Ways To Say Someone is Dumb

  1. A few clowns short of a circus.
  2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
  4. A few beers short of a six-pack.
  5. Dumber than a box of hair.
  6. A few peas short of a casserole.
  7. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
  8. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
  9. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
  10. One taco short of a combination plate.
  11. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
  12. All foam, no beer
  13. The cheese slid off his cracker.
  14. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
  15. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
  16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
  17. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
  18. He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
  20. As smart as bait.
  21. Chimney's clogged.
  22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
  23. Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.
  24. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
  25. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
  26. Her sewing machine's out of thread.
  27. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
  28. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
  29. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
  30. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
  31. No grain in the silo.
  32. Proof that evolution can go in reverse
  33. Receiver is off the hook.
  34. Several nuts short of a full pouch.
  35. Skylight leaks a little.
  36. Slinky's kinked.
  37. Surfing in Nebraska.
  38. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
  39. Big like ox, smart like tractor
  40. A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
  41. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
  42. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  43. A room temperature IQ.
  44. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.
  45. A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
  46. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
  47. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
  48. Bright as Alaska in December.
  49. One celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
  50. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
  51. Fell out of the family tree.
  52. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  53. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
  54. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.
  55. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
  56. One neuron short of a synapse.
  57. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
  58. Takes him 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".

Most of the items on this list were taken from the Bag o' Laughs at Grant's Graceland. It's run by a priest, so there's a lot of heavenly humour. Visit there for a lot more laughs and maybe save your eternal soul while you're at it! :) The few extras, I got from Jeremy Ray.