Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear One Guy Say to Another Guy

  1. Does my butt look fat in this?
  2. I'm tired of beer. What say you to a nice, fruity Chablis?
  3. I can't stop fantasizing about Dr. Ruth!
  4. Yours is bigger than mine.
  5. I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.
  6. There's nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then suffers miserably.
  7. Want all my tools? I just realized I never do anything useful with them!
  8. You know what always makes me cry? Those long-distance commericals.
  9. I'm deeply offended by young women who go braless.
  10. Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all that's the important thing.