Survey

Justin happened to be walking into his suite's kitchen when the piece of paper was slid under his door. Since the kitchen was just past the door, he saw it, stopped, and curiously detoured to find out what it was. He picked it up and frowned at it. It looked like some sort of survey.

2004 Tour Relations and Quality of Life Survey

Thank you for consenting to fill out this survey. If you have received a copy, you are a member of NSync or its crew, management, band, or dance troupe. Your responses to this survey will help every member of our team to have an enjoyable tour. Thank you for your time and patience.

Justin shook his head and took the survey with him into the kitchen. It was only two pages long, so it wouldn't take him too long to fill it out. He put it on the counter as he microwaved a frozen pizza, then brought it with him as he sat down at the table to eat. He was just about to take the first bite when he stopped and did a double-take. What kinds of questions were these, anyway?

1. How long have you known Chris Kirkpatrick?
   a. Less than one year
   b. One to three years
   c. Three to five years
   d. Over five years
   e. Don't know him (skip to Question 3)

2. In the time that you have known Chris, have you ever wanted to smack him?
   a. Yes
   b. No
   c. All the time
   d. Is this a trick question?

Justin rolled his eyes and dismissed the idea of getting up to find a pen. This was obviously one of Chris' infamous practical jokes. He kept reading.

3. Which of Chris Kirkpatrick's past hair styles have you preferred? (Check all that apply)
   a. Longish and loose (European era)
   b. Dreads
   c. Brown braids
   d. Brown and white braids
   e. Spikes
   f. Mohawk
   g. Buzz
   h. Scruff
   i. Other (please specify) ______________

4. Who is the prettiest in all the land: JC Chasez or Snow White?
   a. JC
   b. Snow White
   c. Neither (please specify) ___________________

Justin choked on his pizza. Chris had obviously gone completely insane.

5. Which of the pranks Chris has played on Lance Bass was your favorite? (If you are Lance Bass, skip to Question 6)
   a. Copying pages out of his journal and pasting them all over the backstage area at the San Antonio concert
   b. Setting his laptop to yell vulgar sayings at every keystroke
   c. Setting his laptop to whisper strange things at random intervals ("Mmmm, Joey would look totally sexy in spiked heels."), making Lance think he was going insane
   d. Putting red Kool-Aid in his girly hair conditioner
   e. Putting green Kool-Aid in his girly hand lotion
   f. Other (please specify) ___________________________________________

Well, okay, that was a good one. Maybe Chris hadn't lost his mind, after all.

6. Whose tour bus smells better? (Please select only one)
   a. Lance and Joey
   b. Chris, Justin, and JC
   c. The dancers
   d. The crew

7. How should Chris tell JC he's in love with him?
   a. Blurt it out in the middle of an unrelated conversation
   b. Write a dirty limerick and put it under his pillow
   c. Stick it in a survey
   d. Take him on a romantic dinner and serenade him on bended knee
   e. Other (please specify) _________

Justin froze, the food in his mouth suddenly tasting like chalk. He re-read the last question three times, just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Swallowing with some difficulty, he stood and picked up the survey, going to his door and opening it, intending to go down to Chris' room and get a reasonable explanation for all of this.

JC had beat him there.

Justin watched as JC put a hand on Chris' shoulder, leaning in close and speaking to him quietly. Chris was hunched over, his head down and his cheeks red, but whatever JC said made him look up with suddenly bright eyes, a hesitant smile blooming on his face. JC dropped his copy of the survey on the floor and took both of Chris' hands in his own, pulling him gently into the hotel room. The door closed behind them with a muted click.

Justin stood there in his doorway for a long while, then went back inside, sitting in front of his plate of now-cold pizza. There were two questions left. It was just like Chris to make a survey with only nine questions when ten was such a nice, round number.

8. How would you like to conduct most of your interactions with Chris?
   a. In person
   b. Written
   c. By phone
   d. By email
   e. Not at all

9. Did you enjoy this survey?
   a. Yes
   b. No
   c. Sort of
   d. Go to Hell

Thank you for your time.

Justin got up, put his pizza into the microwave to reheat, and went in search of a pen.

End

Email: kittie.verdena@gmail.com