Luck Be a Lady
by Melvin

Davy and Peter were involved in a challenging game of checkers. "It's ovah! You're finished, you braggart!" Davy screamed and he moved king. "Check!"

Peter looked cautiously around the board. "Ah, but you are wrong!" Peter moved his king with a slow pace. He grinned. "Who's laughing now? Ha, h-"

Peter was interrupted by Lindsay, Davy's girlfriend, and Heather, Micky's girlfriend, running into the pad.

"Okay, we have a small problem!" Heather said out of breath. "Mike and Micky are women!"

Davy raised an eyebrow. "I should have seen this coming when Micky bought the women's razor at K-Mart..."

Lindsay rolled her eyes at him. "No, I mean, they had a little accident..." She looked at Heather, "and I think someone better take their Driver's Ed. class over again, thank you!"

Heather threw her arms up. "That's what seatbelts are for, okay? They weren't supposed to be opening the convertible hood up and down while I was driving!"

Peter interrupted the cat fight. "Wait, wait, what happened?"

Lindsay and Heather began telling the story. Apparently they had been driving down the highway coming back from a college class Lindsay and Heather had been at and were on their way to Wendy's for drinks and fries. Micky, who had been sitting in the front with Heather, kept pushing the button that lifted the hood up and down, over and over again. While he was trying to get the hood to go up for the last time, it collapsed and since Heather couldn't see the road they went flying into the woods, car and all. Everyone got out of the mess physically okay, but Mike and Micky got up and started screaming about how their make up was all screwed up and they broke a nail.

"We thought they were just joking around, but then when we attempted to sort through the stuff they started commenting on things... well..." Heather gave Lindsay a look, "... not so appropriate for discussion..."

"They saw the mall right up the road and took off on foot," Lindsay said. "We couldn't go after them, we had to wait until someone showed up to cart off the wreck... then when Mike and Micky came back they were dressed like women and wanted to know if we were going up to the mall."

Heather nodded. "It was so freaky! their nails were painted and the mascara and everything..."

Davy looked a little confused. "Well I think we'd best get up 'ere and figure out what's going on!"

~*~

A few minutes later they were all in the car going up the highway. "My car...." Heather groaned. "What am I going to tell my mom?"

"Tell them the truth!" Peter declared.

"Oh yeah, that's good." Lindsay said sarcastically. "I'm sure Heather's mom is going to totally dismiss what happened when Heather tells her that we accidentally crashed the car and transformed Micky and Mike into women. I know I would." Lindsay rolled her eyes.

They arrived at the mall within a few minutes. "Alright luvs, you and Heather go look for Micky and Mike on the bottom floor, Petah and I will look on the top floor." Davy said, as he departed to find the Odd Couple.

~*~

"C'mon Heather, they've got to be around here somewhere!" Lindsay popped into a video store. Heather picked up a copy of Easy Riders. "Good flick..." She nodded. "Hey Linds, I think I'm gonna get this."

Lindsay pulled the tape away from her. "Heather, we're supposed to be looking for Mike and-" She looked at the tape and nodded. "Good flick..."

Heather went up and bought it while Lindsay looked around the store at other merchandise. Finally they walked out of the store and continued on down the mall. They came to a record store. "You know Heather... I bet they're in here... Micky wanted to buy that new Jim Morrison album..."

They wheeled into the store and went up and down the aisle, not finding much of anything, except a pretty good Byrds single, which was added to their newly purchased merchandise. After they purchased the record they went and sat down on a bench.

"If I was a woman..." Heather started.

"You are a woman, Heather."

"I know! But I mean, If I was Micky, and I just turned into a woman..." She shuttered at the thought, "then I would probably... go..."

Lindsay jumped up. "Clothes shopping!"

Heather stood up too. "But which clothing store? There's like... 40 on the downstairs floor alone!"

Lindsay sighed. "We're gonna have to try them all..." and with an aggravated look she grabbed Heather and started toward Kaufman's.

Meanwhile, Davy and Peter were having the same luck. They had been in and out of stores, buying things, particularly when they went into a guitar store.

"You know Petah... we really oughta start lookin for Micky and Mike..." Davy looked around the area.

"Yeah I know, I was just thinking that..." Peter was plucking the strings of his new guitar. "Maybe they went home."

"Petah, they're women! it's hard enough to get Micky and Mike oughta the mall when they're men, how are we gonna do it when they're women?!" He turned around and sat down on a rail. "Now if I was a woman.... I would probably go to a bath and body store... " Davy grinned. "Then... " Davy turned around and groaned. "I think I would go clothes shopping..."

"NO!" Peter screamed. "Please Davy, anything but that!" Davy stood up, grabbed Peter's hand and took off towards JCPenney's.

~*~

Heather and Lindsay had gone through every rack, shelf, and desk at Kaufman's. Frustrated and Mike and Mickyless, they came out the other end. "Well I'm glad we did that!" Heather sighed.

"Yeah I know... maybe a candle store or something." Lindsay said as she walked out. "Or maybe that new-" She stopped and her mouth dropped open.

Heather looked at her. "What is it?" When she turned she saw one of the most scariest things she would ever see: Victoria's Secret.

Lindsay and Heather ran into the store looking around. "I don't see them do you?"

"No... I'll check over there, Linds."

Then Lindsay heard Micky's voice.

"Excuse me, where are the 35C?" Micky was asking a sales clerk.

"A 35 C? you must be joking." "Maybe it's a 35 D...."

The sales clerk looked down her nose. "Right over there."

Lindsay ran over to Micky. "Micky! thank goodness I found you!"

"Oh darling, that outfit is just absolutely you!" Micky said in a squealed voice. "Where DID you buy that?!"

"Micky, could we please go?"

"It's not Micky, it's Vanessa."

"What?! What's wrong with Micky?!"

"Oh it's just so late 50's dear..."

Lindsay groaned, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get Micky out of the store anytime soon.

Micky turned around and shrieked, "Patricia! Come over here, dear, they have the silky laced!"

Suddenly Mike's head popped up. "Vanessa do you think I'd look good in this?" He held up a silken laced teddy.

Micky, or Vanessa, jumped up and down. "Oh that outfit is just so you!"

Heather pulled Mike to the side. "Linds, we really got to do something here...."

Lindsay nodded. "I know..." she said, as she watched Micky spray a bottle of Ever Lust fragrance in his face. "I don't know what to do though... I'm gonna go try and find Davy... try and handle them, DON'T let them out of the store."

"But..." Heather watched as Lindsay walked out of the store, and sighed. She turned to Micky and Mike. "Sheesh..."

Mike walked over to Heather holding a box. "Heather, be a dear, what exactly are these?"

Heather looked at the box. "Mike- I mean Patty, those are birth control pills. Put them down."

"They taste so good!" Mike threw some more into his mouth and nibbled.

"MIKE! You're not supposed to eat them!"

"Then what do you do with them?"

Heather groaned and whispered it into Mike's ear. Mike stepped back and nodded. "You would never know..."

All of a sudden Micky walked over with a bag. "Alright Patty! let's go check out that absolutely adorable baby store!" Micky patted his tummy. "I have an announcement!" Micky cleared his throat. "I'm expecting!"

Heather held her head thinking, Good Lord... Lindsay hurry up...

~*~

While Micky went on and on about his gift of joy, Lindsay ran around stores trying to find Davy and Pete. She stopped to catch her breath at the elevator. "This is not worth it... besides, Mike would make a good woman... one-sided, but nevertheless-"

She was interrupted by the opening of the doors. "Davy! Finally! we found Mick and Mike!"

Davy took a breath of relaxation. "Finally... we looked everywhere! Well... except that dirty video store..." Davy hid a bag behind his back.

Peter grabbed the bag out of Davy's hand. "Linds, guess what? Davy got a new video! it's called..." He took it out of the box and read the title slowly. "When Blonde Babes Go Bad VI!"

Lindsay raised an eyebrow. "I'd say I'm jealous but... I seriously would rather not know..." She jumped in the elevator, pushed the button, and waited for the elevators descent into the jaws of Mike and Micky's womanhood.

~*~

Heather was having troubles controlling Mike and Micky. She had kept them in the store, only by showing them some cheap panties Mike was sure he could fit. "Lindsay... you'd sure as heck better get here soon..."

Mike forcefully-high-pitched voice rang out. "Alright I have them on! I'm coming out to show you!"

Heather thought about this: Mike and panties... Mike in nothing but a bra and panties...

"MIKE STAY IN THE CHANGING ROOM!" "Why dear?"

"Umm... there's a spider!" Heather sighed, glad she was thought on that.

Mike shrieked and agreed to stay in the dressing room.

Micky came out in a black bra. "Oh darling isn't it me?!" He twirled around.

Heather looked at Mick, couldn't decide whether to break out into laughter or be very, very scared. She decided to be scared. "Just walk away... just walk away..." Heather turned when she heard Lindsay's voice.

"Heath, I found 'em!"

"It's about time! Mike's in there in nothing except some porno bra and panties!"

Davy made a face. "Okay 'ere went me lunch..." He shook his head. "What are we going to do?" He pulled out a book. "I found this book on personality/amnesia treatment, but I mean..." He watched Micky flex his "breasts" and turned white, "maybe we should try another approach."

Heather, Lindsay, Davy, and Peter started spewing out ideas: hitting them over the head, reenacting the car accident, witchdoctor, and brought to attention by Peter, influencing manly habits on them.

After careful discussion the best idea at the moment was to take them home and discuss from there. Mike bought the panties... insisted on wearing them home... and as did Micky with the bra...

When at home, the group of four tried everything. Hitting didn't work, neither one of them, Micky or Mike, understood the concept, and it was hard to inflict anything somewhat influential. Peter and Davy tried an African chant that didn't do anything for Mike and Micky.

By the time it came to reenacting the whole scene, Lindsay and Heather were too tired to get in the car and redo everything.

"Aw honey you look wasted, dear!" Mike said. "Vanessa, help me make some tea!"

Micky got up and went with Mike to the kitchen, put the kettle on and sat back down.

Heather yawned. "I give up. As long as I never see Mike inn those.... panties... I don't care what they do."

Lindsay nodded, Davy sighed. "Maybe reenacting will do something... Micky- I mean Vanessa... " He rolled his eyes, "Could I have some of 'at tea?"

Micky stood up. "It should be boiling, I don't understand why it's not on..."

Micky went around to the kitchen and looked at the kettle. Mike walked over. "Oh Vanessa, it's not plugged in! now hold me back and I'll plug it in from up here..."

Mike bent over on the side of the counter and grabbed the plug. He started to plug it in, but when the plug hit the outlet a spark went off and both Micky and Mike were electrocuted.

Everyone that was still conscious ran into the kitchen. "Vanessa! are you okay?!"

Heather came running over, and cradled Micky's head.

Micky groaned. "Vanessa...?? what...?" He struggled to sit up. "Don't tell me I had too many Ricky Martins and got drunk at that strip joint again..."

Mike crouched over and sat up straight. "I feel... well groomed..." He leaned back. "And very open-" He suddenly took a gander at his crotch. Mike's eyes got very wide. "Oh my... who did this now... Micky! we were are the strip club! I bet it was that Sheila girl..."

He looked over at Micky, and saw the bra. "Micky please tell me that belongs to Heather..." he eyed the both of them.

Davy was cracking up. "See? I told you guys there was nothing to worry about!"

Lindsay gave him a look. "Oh yeah, was that in between the whining or the porno video store?"

Davy scratched his head. "Well... at least they didn't think they were pro wrestlers....."

End